my hubby is 27, and I have no idea which signs to look for that lets me know he is daddy material and is ready.
we've been married 4 years.
2007-01-19 01:27:04 · 15 answers · asked by Pook 2 in Health ➔ Women's Health
has long as he has stopped acting like a child, yah he's ready
2007-01-21 06:48:13 · answer #1 · answered by candyprincess 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you married him, you must have made the decision that he would be decent father material. Have you considered asking him about children, and what he thinks about the timescales?
There are lots of things to take into account which you need to discuss - appropriate living accommodation, availability of spare money, childcare, your own general health, time you currently (and will in the future) be able to dedicate to the child, where you would like to bring them up - schools in the area, safety of your neighborhood...
Please keep in mind this is a decision you should have an equal share in - it's not up to you to decide when he's ready - between you, you'll decide when you as a couple are prepared enough to go ahead...
Good luck!
2007-01-19 01:34:16 · answer #2 · answered by Extra_Sweetcorn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You won't know and neither will he. Becoming a parent is not something he will automatically know that he wants to do. Once it happens, his life will be changed forever.
There are a lot of emotions involved when the decision is made to have a child. One minute you want a child and the next minute you don't. He will be giving up a lot. Unlike women, who want to be mothers, men don't see things the same.
By the time it happens and he decides that being a father is not for him, it's too late to turn the clock back.
Whatever you do, don't rush him. This will be a big turn off for him. At 27, he is still young.
2007-01-19 01:35:48 · answer #3 · answered by Ms. V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on his level of resposibility and commitment to everything. i know myself personally, i was always committed and responsible with everything i tackled so when our first was born i showed her the same love committment and responsibility i do everything else. actually she gets a lot more, but you get what i am saying. a father has to be someone with patience and love and who doesn't give up easily. raising a child isn't for people who aren't mature enough to take care of themself. there are no real signals though. you guys have to talk about it and you both have to be ready. don't just think he is ready based off of signs. ask him. he'll love you much more than if you said hey i thought you were ready so guess what....we're pregnant.
2007-01-19 01:35:36 · answer #4 · answered by stupid people make me laugh!!! 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Definitely talk to him about it. Find out if he wants them now or later or never. Flat out ask if he thinks he's ready as well. What does he think of kids? What does he feel his responsibility to them would be? etc
I would also see how he is around kids. If you have friends or relatives with kids then offer to sit one day. Put yourself in "Kid-friendly" environments and see what he does and says...if he's comfortable around them.
As someone who doesn't want kids (and is not good with them), I know what to look for because I see it in myself. I get stiff around kids. I fidget since I'm unsure of what i'm supposed to be doing. I'm looking around with my eyes darting. I don't want to be there and I don't want the kid there. I'm frowning because I hate the burden that's been placed on me. I'm talking about when I'm watching a friend's baby while she runs to the ladies. I'm NOT saying the baby is a burden...I'm saying the responsibility feels like a burden to me. When my friend comes back, I suddenly realize I haven't been breathing for the entire 2 1/2 minutes she was gone. I'm also a tiny bit angry at my friend for pawning the kid off on me and it shows in my face...Yes it was only a couple of minutes, I know! But I'm being honest here.
So see if you can "borrow" a friend or relative's child and see how he acts with it. Put the responsibility on him for a bit (run to the ladies as my friend did).
You should also discuss the finances etc. Are you financially able to provide for it? Are you willing to give up your free time and some of your past-times? No more hanging out with friends on Saturday night etc..Are you ready for the new smells, objects on the living room floor etc? Think about these things and discuss them with him.
Every child should be WANTED by BOTH parents, so definitely don't do the "Opps!" thing. Personally I think that's selfish and disrespectful to the guy (and the child). Make the decision together.
2007-01-19 02:31:19 · answer #5 · answered by AH0030 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope you knew if "he is daddy material" before you married. As to if he wants to start a family now, just ask him!
2007-01-19 01:32:22 · answer #6 · answered by Alex 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There in no set way of answering such a question. It's the woman who makes that choice, men are just along for the ride.
2007-01-19 01:39:09 · answer #7 · answered by LifeRyder 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you've been married four years and don't communicate well enough to discuss having children. You'll probably be divorced in ten years anyway. Guarantee you married him for money. Women that are truly in love talk about there things (children) before marriage.
2007-01-19 01:35:10 · answer #8 · answered by run7days 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Of course there is responsibility caring for a child ...it is a process...how do you know that YOU are ready?
2007-01-19 01:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by Pooks 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Nobody is ever REALLY ready for parenthood.Trust me.
2007-01-19 01:30:42 · answer #10 · answered by MaryBeth 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋