does a man feel good or guilty after beating his wife?

Answer 1

I think it's a mixture of the two for most men, because of the three reasons men abuse women:

1. It works.

In a short-term, get what you want immediately situation, hitting someone works. Contrary to what some people may believe, domestic violence is rarely about anger. People may blame it on an "anger management" problem. But the same people who supposedly cannot manage their anger when it comes to their spouse manage perfectly well when it comes to their parents, the neighbor, the grocery clerk, or the police officer who comes to the door. Domestic violence is about using violence to gain (and maintain) control. Often the batterer views the victim as a possession to be guarded and controlled -- they monitor phone calls and email, reduce contact with family and friends, and if their possession gets out of line, they smack it back in place.

One woman told a particularly telling story. It was Thanksgiving time, and she and her husband (newly married) were preparing dinner. Their families were on the way over to celebrate with them. During the preparations, they got into an argument and he punched her in the face, breaking her jaw in three place. Needless to say, Thanksgiving dinner did not happen and she spent that day in the hospital. For the next ten years, her husband didn't have to hit her again. He could control her with two simple words: Remember Thanksgiving.

Men hit women because it works. They get the control that they want and they get their way.

2. They can get away with it.

Up until as recently as ten years ago, domestic violence was a 'personal problem,' not really treated as a crime. Sure the police might come out, but usually they either made one of the people leave the residence or made vague references to how the two parties needed to learn to handle their business and they "better not have to come back again."

While things have improved considerably, there are a large number of people who still believe that Domestic Violence is one of those things in which they shouldn't get involved. There are a distinct lack of witnesses when it comes to Domestic Violence crime. Would you speak as a witness if you saw saw a man wielding a knife against a woman he did not know? Would you speak up if you saw a hit and run? Most people would. But those same people will not speak up or come forward when the crime is domestic violence. Hitting your spouse is more acceptable than hitting a stranger.

The same thing is true when it comes to the workplace. If a man calls too often (and rest assured, this is calculated -- if your possession is working that means that there's a large part of the day where she is out of your control), or comes by and causes trouble, rather than asking what might be going on in the relationship, your coworkers and boss are generally going to roll their eyes and ask the victim to correct the problem. The same thing if she takes sick days because of his behavior. And if she doesn't correct the problem? She gets fired.

By refusing to hold men accountable for their actions, we are giving them tacit permission to go on with the abuse. It's okay to hit your wife. Nobody will say anything. The police won't help you. Your family won't help you. Your boss won't help you. You're on your own.

3. Socialization

Despite the many years of women's liberation, the predominant view in society is still that men are supposed to be in charge. True, it may not be spoken directly, but it doesn't have to be.

Examine the major consequences to the male ego if he is perceived by other men as not wearing the pants in his relationship. We have invented any number of ugly words to describe such a condition -- p*ssy-whipped, ball-less, spineless, boytoy. They all add up to one thing. The man who is not in control may as well be impotent. That is how he will be viewed by his peers.

Yes, this is a generalization. Yes, changes have been made. But when you look at the most telling part of our society, entertainment, it is easy to see that we still think that men should be strong and that violence is sexy.

Answer 2

I think that there are two types of wife abusers.

Type one is just a mean hateful person who is abusive in nature to all people. These guys would beat on anybody anytime.


Type two, the most common, are men of extremely low self esteem who beat on women because the feel inferior to other men in some way.

I do not know how they would feel, but if they hit my daughter or my sister they would no longer feel anything.

Answer 3

It all depends on his mentality....some men have no conscience and therefore beating his wife means nothing to him and he will continue to do it until someone stops him (by any means), then there are a few men....very rare....who do it because it was the only lifestyle they knew growing up, but each time they do it, a feeling of guilt and shame come over them and they are not able to face anyone. Not really a good or bad answer, but hope it's something that gives you "food for thought"....

Answer 4

I think men feel good while there doing it, possibly after as well. They may say they feel bad, or feel guilty after the fact. I don't think there ever sorry or truly feel guilty. My mom suffered abuse through two marriages. They always apologized and made it a repetitive thing. So to answer your question both.

Answer 5

I cannot imagine that a man would feel good about something like that. But then I can't imagine beating my wife.

Answer 6

thats not a man at all if he chooses to beat his wife, he has low self esteem and feel very guilty

Answer 7

ask yourself this question how would you feel if a guy beat ed on your mother,i say no he don't feel good not at all you should treat any female like you would like for your mother grandma sister or daughter to be treated .to sum it all up a man that beats on a female is a punk,that wont fight a real man.

Answer 8

If a man is beating his wife than he doesn't give a sh*t about her so neither he doesn't think anything. Move out this instant, hire a lawyer and take everything he has.

Answer 9

it actually makes them feel powerful its a control issue they are laying down the law they have thier women obey them and fear them and it makes them feel big and manly they only come across as sad or feeling guilty about it when the women tries to leave cause they dont want her to leave them but once that women gives in and takes him back he does it all over again its a vicious cycle that never ends until one is badly hurt or even killed
and then they feel bad......

Answer 10

In most cases I think they feel guilt, but the thing is....it doesn't stop them from doing it again.I think they feel justified when they do it and guilty when they see the after effects of what they have done. But either way,it's unacceptable.