ok i know some of u are like what ur 17, but i was pregnant at 16 and my baby died when i was 5 1/2 months pregnant, it was the worst day of my life, i could feel her moving and everything. i wanted to be everything for her. some may say it was a blessing, but i feel like there is a piece of my heart missing and i wanna wait until the right time to get pregnant, but i feel so empty, and my friend just had a baby, i am happy for her, but i am also jealous, because i know that is suppose to be me :(
i want to get rid of these feeling because i dont need to be having a kid, but i want to really badly, my boyfriend and i have been talking about it!!!!
anyone have any ideas on how to help me
2007-01-19 01:00:33 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP SAYIN IM BEING INCEDIBLY SELFISH MAYBE I SHOULDNT HAVE ASKED THIS QUESTION SINCE MOST OF YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH!!!
2007-01-19 01:19:00 · update #1
I had my first son as an unwed mother at 17. My advice to you is to stay in school and work on your own issues before you bring another child into this world. You are being incredibly selfish. WHAT DO YOU have to offer a child. You are still a child yourself. PLEASE, please, please. Do not be jealous of someone having a baby. You can have a baby once you are mature and settled in life. There is plenty of time for that. Get an education, work on your self-esteem issues and build a proper and secure home for a child before you have one. You need to talk to a counselor or someone who can give you some direction and guidance.
2007-01-19 01:06:29 · answer #1 · answered by Alexandriagal 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Having a baby isn't something you do to fill a void in your life. It's a huge responsibility and at 17 you ARE NOT ready for it. I am 29 and married and it is very challenging to raise a baby. Just to put things into perspective....Child care today runs at least 700 a month if you want a good facility (and don't try to pin your baby on your mother - that's not right)..diapers, food, clothes will cost you another couple hundred..co-pays (assuming you have insurance) can be another hundred plus prescriptions if your baby ever gets sick can be expensive. And at 17, how can you give your baby the very best? You cant. A child needs parents who are educated, motivated and with well-paying jobs. At 17, you don't have these things. You need to focus on going to college and getting a degree so that you won't have to struggle in life and THEN think about babies. But, if I were you, I'd wait at least until I'm 25..You haven't even experienced anything yet. Oh and just because your having sex doesn't mean you've got the world figured out.
Do not have kids yet. It will be one of your biggest mistakes. Live. Be young. Experience life FIRST. Because once you have a kid, it's all about them..that is..if you're going to be a good parent.
Good luck to you.
2007-01-19 01:40:06 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am so sorry for your loss. Losing a child like that is NEVER a blessing, don't let anyone tell you that. These feelings of grief you feel and even the feeling of envy, are normal.
In my honest opinion, I think you need time to grieve. I think you also need time to grow up a little more before considering bringing a new life into the world. You said you wanted to be everything for your baby, but how can you be everything for one if you are still a child yourself? Finish school, get a job, learn what it is to be an adult before you start raising a child. You'll get your chance again. But don't take it so soon. Live for yourself first.
I wish you well in your life. I hope you find peace and happiness soon. Take care of yourself. The rest will follow.
Edit: When looking over my response, I felt I needed to clarify something. I said that you're still a child yourself. I want you to know I don't mean this in an insulting way. There's nothing wrong with it. What I was trying to get across is that it's a normal stage of life that shouldn't be rushed. People say, "Grow up" and they mean it as an insult. I don't.
btw, I don't think you're selfish. I read that comment and knew it wasn't going to go over well. Some people just don't understand the nature of grief. Take a lot of these statements with a grain of salt, okay?
2007-01-19 01:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by Avie 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is human natUre to be jealous......i just had a baby at 25 and when i see newborns or pregnant ladies i get a little envious...but i cannot support another child so I just deal with it. Spend time with Ur friends baby.
U and Ur boyfriend really should finish school and perhaps u should go to the Dr. to talk about ur loss. U shouldn't have another one now to fill that void in Ur life.
Please don't get pregnant again. It may seem fun on the outside looking in but its an incredible life change that should happen when
1- U finish school
2- have a steady job with good income
3- get married
4- enjoy Ur marriage
5 have a baby and get the pleasure of not struggling.
GOOD LUCK!
2007-01-19 01:19:00 · answer #4 · answered by Hi my name is... 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, you can be happy in other ways. Having a baby just because you want to is incredibly selfish, wait until you are an adult, preferably happily married and when you can afford it. I mean, think about the baby. It would have an unhappy life if you decide to have it now. Just focus on school and friends and other things, your time will come.
2007-01-19 01:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by ♥Killing Loneliness♥ 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i'm 18 years previous i have been given pregnant with my first son even as i became nonetheless in intense college 17 years previous, my relations became no longer more than satisfied about my sons dad didn't wish to be there for a lengthy time period, now listen this became somewhat ridiculous to positioned this on the following, what might want to you ever imagine even as u get 20/25 and function more effective childrens and also you cant mislead them even as they get a particular age and also you should inform them they could have had a huge brother or sister it truly is pathetic, i became scared to lack of life!!! NOW i'm pregnant with our 2d infant and can want to by no ability imagine my existence without both of my childrens, you want to strengthen up once you've sex it truly is YOUR accountability on your moves seem after your infant!!!!!! although in case you cant provide the infant to someone who might want to it wasn't the infant's opt to be the following you further them the following so enable someone who will love them have them!!!!!it truly is the least your infant benefits!!!!
2016-10-15 10:55:58 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know what you went through was horrible but you should really not rush it, Especially as young as you are. I mean you should work on building a foundation for your child. I can tell by your previous question that you don't have a college education. I mean do you think its really fair to your child to raise them without any kind of foundation. I mean I would wait till you have accomplished. Do you really want to struggle? having a child won't fill your voids.
**** Listen to the girl below me! She knows what she is talking about!
2007-01-19 01:05:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a puppy i understand the baby thing women love babies they are cute and everything but it is a hassle too i had kids young and you love them but theres also an emptyness when you miss out on life because you dont get to do things your friends vacations are hard so for now id set on with a puppy and work on your life a lil gettin a job goin while havin fun
2007-01-19 01:08:27 · answer #8 · answered by Jeff B 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ya bang your head against the wall and wake up,and hopefully you still have something in there that will help you see the light.
2007-01-19 01:12:58 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
this order get a job get a life get married get pregnant
2007-01-19 01:10:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋