She found out I had an illness that could lead to prostate cancer when she found some things in my bag. When she questioned me about it I was hesitant but upfront and told her after the fact. I even gave her a LEGIT doctors note stating my condition b/c trust has been a problem in the past. It's nothing that can hurt her but it is harder for me to have children (which I was embarrassed about b/c that is something I really want with her) She understands why I didn't tell my family but not her when we are supposed to tell each other EVERYTHING. I feel bad that we broke up and miss her. She says she wants to work on our friendship some more and see what happens from there because we're still not READY for a relationship. Did I deserve to get dumped or is she overreacting?
2007-01-19 00:05:35 · 10 answers · asked by so_sincere 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
She found out I had an illness that could lead to prostate cancer when she found some things in my bag. When she questioned me about it I was hesitant but upfront and told her after the fact. I even gave her a LEGIT doctors note stating my condition b/c trust has been a problem in the past. It's nothing that can hurt her but it is harder for me to have children (which I was embarrassed about b/c that is something I really want with her) She understands why I didn't tell my family but not her when we are supposed to tell each other EVERYTHING. I feel bad that we broke up and miss her. She says she wants to work on our friendship some more and see what happens from there because we're still not READY for a relationship. Did I deserve to get dumped or is she overreacting?
****after I told her she said it was best I tell my family which I have, so now everyone knows****
2007-01-19 00:30:05 · update #1
should i ask for another chance?
2007-01-19 02:11:43 · update #2
I am sorry not just for your illness, but because you feel you have now done something wrong? ummm... if she asked you "do you have an illness?" and you said... nope.... then yes.. you are wrong... but it is a minor lie at best... although none should happen....? we are only human..... sometimes... we react in fear and shut out.... but I did not see anywhere that she asked? so you did not lie... and I do not see where it is even the business of a spouse unless you were to want to share it... ready to share it.... ?
I do not want to pry... but if your illness is life threatening; could it be that she is just unprepared to continue knowing that there is a chance you may not be there for the "duration"? I really do not want to upset you with that thought? but I do not see anything wrong with you not telling your family or her... and personally? I would have said you had more of an obligation to them, not her?! they are family... she obviously is not... or she would already be back at your side.... understanding.... and supportive....
I do not know if any of that is of help? but you are not in the wrong... if a person is ready, willing to share... they should... if not.... wait a minute? she is having an issue about trusting you? because you did not tell her? but.... you did not tell her because you were embarassed, lacked the trust in her? and she went and did just what you feared? and you think you owe her an apology? how? have you let her know that she reacted the way you feared she would? and discussed with her that yes you both need to work on "trust" issues maybe... but, maybe it is both of you? I still say you owed no one an explaination.... but...? fifty fifty in a relationship... so reach out... meet halfway.... and god bless... good luck.... she's still wrong though.... sorry.. she is....
2007-01-26 07:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by elusive_001 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Do you wan't another chance? Ask, but this ALL depends on if you learned your lesson or not. If you not really realise the damage that hidding the truth can do, I think you deserve another chance. But with all that said, trust is a big issue, and for you to want her back, you are going to have to earn her trust all over again and really mean it. Give it a trial period for 6 months or so and see where it goes from there. As for children, go with her to a Dr. that deals with this stuff, even get your sperm forzen for a future endeavor. Take care Heather
2007-01-25 13:42:28 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although you were not lying, you were not telling her the WHOLE truth. It's almost as bad. She has every right to be upset. You withheld somthing important from her. She cared about you - and you held back an important health matter. You need to learn to be open and honest before you are ready for commitment. It's going to take some time and effort on your part to gain her trust again.
2007-01-19 00:12:44 · answer #3 · answered by Bondgirl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not lying..... but it is dishonest.... it's a hard thing to go through... my stepfather had cancer for a while before he told my mom... they didn't break up.... but she was really hurt that he felt he couldn't tell her.... all i can say is that maybe your ex doesn't want to get too close to you again because she's afraid to lose you.
2007-01-19 00:13:26 · answer #4 · answered by pinkyfritz20 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why were u trying to have a baby with ur girlfriend anyway--don't u think there are enough kids out there with single parents--horrible way to start out life thinking that ur parents didnt love, TRUST, and honor each other enough to get married and start a family the proper way--
2007-01-26 22:28:31 · answer #5 · answered by kewlchica 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have told her in the beginning, she's not overreacting..but anyway whats done is done.u cant undo it..
Ask her for a second chance to get back together.
2007-01-26 20:35:56 · answer #6 · answered by Melroy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is just overracting. Normally that is what happens when some females can't handle an issue involving their mates such as an illness as that. Let her go and don't rush into things. You want someone who is going to love and appreciate you for who you are.
2007-01-19 01:03:57 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
you did NOT deserve to be treated that way, it was and still is NONE of her business...it's something that will not affect her in the least unless y'all decide to have kids, at which point in time you do have a moral obligation to tell her, but not until then, she's JUST a G/F, not a wife
2007-01-19 00:27:58 · answer #8 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I say no you didn't deserve it some things are left better in the closet!It helps keep the other person happy sometimes and sometimes it keeps you happy knowing noone knows
2007-01-19 00:14:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
It was a lie by omission . . . she's probably wondering what else you haven't told her.
2007-01-26 20:50:53 · answer #10 · answered by Lost Angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋