ok here's my problem,i've been with this girl over a year and recently found out she cheated on me, it took everything i had to let it go because she was so remorseful and begged me not to leave her, for about a week she was acting as if she would die without me, but now she doesn't call me when she gets out of work anymore which she used to do daily for a year, she keeps her phone on silent when she's home with me, when i call her she says her phone"is messed up" so she didn't here the call, but swears on her kid nothing is going on. i know i know, she probably is seeing this guy, but why won't she admit it to me, i've told her straight out i'd leave if she wants to be with someone else, and yet she deies it denies it denies it, but it seems so obvious something 's up. i love her and don't want to end it, but if there is someone else i need too. why won't she just tell me though.is this a case of her wanting her cake and eating it too? i just don't trust her anymore.
2007-01-19 00:05:21 · 19 answers · asked by me 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Whether or not she is currently cheating on you is irrelevant. The only consideration that matters is this: you do not trust her. Unless there are children involved, there is absolutely no reason to stay with someone you don't trust, because there can not be a positive future in such a situation.
2007-01-19 00:28:38 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you answered your own question....once the trust is gone, its extremely hard to get it back. If she all the sudden stopped calling you after work when its something she did for a year straight, something is probably up. You are probably right. She cheated once and almost lost you, she probably wants to make sure you won't find out again if something is going on. You need to trust your gut, and if things don't appear right to you and her phone is always "messed up" then i say end it before you get deeper into the relationship. Trust is a big thing in a relationship and if you can't trust her, you may never get that back. Good luck to you
2007-01-19 08:45:20 · answer #2 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems obvious that you can't trust her and she is doing nothing to prove that you can by leaving her phone on silent-that is a certain indication that she doesn't want to receive calls. I think that even if she wasn't seeing anyone else that you don't trust her but you don't want to break away. It's up to you because if her actions aren't enough to help you make up your mind then you are bound to her because of denial. You see clues yet you still need to ask for confirmation. It's like getting burned and asking "does anyone smell smoke?"
2007-01-19 08:14:16 · answer #3 · answered by MeHurdu 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understand that u r in a fix. From ur question it seems that u love her very much . but such an incident has made u lose ur trust. if there is love lacking its fine u can develope it but in such relations or any other relation trust is lacking then it bound to fail. u may forget and love her all over again but u may not forget wat she had done with u. but dont feel low and just break ur relation, if u really love her talk to her try and understand wat she wants and wat is she really doing dont just simply blame her for everything, after having a serious talk if u still feel that she has cheated u then i think u should end this relationship before its too late. so best of luck and dont be in a hurry.
2007-01-19 08:32:53 · answer #4 · answered by NEHA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the closest thing we have to know if there is something going on is through insight, or intuition. but you kind of know when u can't get a hold of her, or her phone is off that she is busy with someone else. she is selfish, and wants u there for her too, plus she doesn't want to admit her wrong, so as long as she can cover it up by lying she will. she is obviously still seeing him, so accept it for what it is, see her for who she is, and realize u didn't want to be with a girl like her anyway.
2007-01-19 11:20:27 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you ever thought about going to couples counsling or maybe ask maybe her friends is they know what is going on? I know you feel terrible and I know where your coming from. My mother cheated on my birth father with my now step dad and now she's cheating on my step dad with a new guy. My mom was once found out that she was cheating but he thought it stopped but it hasn't. Just talk to her or ask her if se would like to join you in couple counsiling and work things out and get down to business. Good luck!
2007-01-19 08:12:34 · answer #6 · answered by Baby_ Frizell 09 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
love is about trust...what u have now is that she cheated...yes u love her but if u r together again at the back of your mind u'll wonder whether she'll cheat again....yes breaking up is painful but its a learning process...u r better off with someone who loves u back and respect the relationship..if u not married there's always someone else sround tha corner..this girl don't deserve u
2007-01-19 09:09:53 · answer #7 · answered by jl C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is really so simple she is proapbly seeing somei\one else, however she does not want to let go of you a sure thing till the other guy makes his move for something more permenent!
2007-01-19 08:10:28 · answer #8 · answered by blueblossom33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude get the eff out! It's over, tainted and she only got remorse because she got caught. Since you didn't leave her she thinks your a chump and will continue to abuse you.
2007-01-19 10:28:49 · answer #9 · answered by Myself 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah she wants something you can give her and this other one can't. Once, she is in denial with you, it just gets easier to convince herself, then you that nothings up. I do want to mention one thing, She might not "be" with someone else, she might be trying to be though . . . Its the excitement she craves, NOT YOUR HEARTACHE.not that that helps alot, cause it still crushes you. She's not cruel, just stupid..
2007-01-19 08:16:44 · answer #10 · answered by fallen angel 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋