one of them told the other that she didnt know if she wanted to be with her gf anymore,so the other one has said she doesnt even want to be friends as shes too hurt.but the other didnt say it was over just that she was having doubts.why has the gf acted like this saying she cant get over it????????
2007-01-19 00:02:12 · 17 answers · asked by lisasbarred 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
Insecurity. The one who is saying she doesn't want to be friends any more is saying so she will not get hurt in the end, its a defense mechanism. They both sound too immature to have a relationship, and if they are adults then they need couples counseling.
2007-01-19 00:07:20 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
After a while of being in a lesbian relationship you get to the point where you are so intimate that the boundries of where you start and the other person end are blurred and sometimes its too hard to let that part of yourself go and be free and watch them doing things that may ultimately hurt you. If you had an arm that was turning septic and hurting you and would eventually kill you if you left it there you would sacrifice and cut it off in order to survive - well this is similar - the lesbian urge to merge means you become one and the same person so when one part turns on what you want and or need then you have to remove it to stop it from hurting you anymore. Especially if the relationship has been extremely intense or co-dependent.
A poem my mum gave me years ago...
After a while, you learn the subtle dfference between holding hands andchaining a soul
You learn that love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't mean security
that kisses aren't contracts and spresents aren't promises you begin toaccept your defeats with your head up high and your eyes open,
like an adult
with grace instead of grief like a child
You lean to build all roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans
You learn that sunshine burns if you have too much....
so plant your own garden and decorate your own soul
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn you can endure, your are strong, your really do
have worth
AND WITH EVERY NEW TOMORROW COMES THE DAWN
2007-01-19 04:10:55 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if someone says to you they are having doubts about your relationship that only means one thing! they want an end to the relationship and are just trying to bring the point around more gentler than just dumping you outright.
If I was your friend I would be very hurt but its obvious that she knows the relationship is over as the other girl would not have said anything like that if it wasn't.
You can't be friends with someone your in love with but they dont love you back, it just doesn't work and will end badly, they need to take a complete break from each other for a while then see how they feel in a few months.
2007-01-19 00:08:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The same dynamics apply here as in any committed relationship. When the first gf expressed her doubts in the relationship, the other one became horribly insecure (who wouldn't?) and decided to bail first so as to be the dumper instead of the dumpee. The second gf sounds extremely insecure but the first gf didn't help when she broadsided her by saying she didn't know if she wanted to be with her anymore. If one spouse said it to another, in a heterosexual relationship, the feelings could be very much the same.
2007-01-19 00:10:56 · answer #4 · answered by Yo' Mama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because she didn't listen to what was being said or the fact that she doesn't think she is pleasing her g/f anymore and so it is easier to be angry and blow the whole thing out than it is to part company (even in the short term) as friends and hope she gets her head around the relationship!
AND I get the distinct feeling we are talking about you here!
2007-01-19 00:10:15 · answer #5 · answered by jamand 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Books on sexual psychology say that it is not uncommon for people involved in homosexual or lesbian relationships to become very possessive about their partners.Remarks such as this can hurt someone who is very possessive about the relationship and it is not easy for some people to get over the hurt easily.
2007-01-19 00:09:42 · answer #6 · answered by rkbaqaya 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Err maybe she's in-love with the other girl. Her feelings have taken over how she will cope emotionally.Give her time breakups hurt at first but in time we all get over them cos we have too there's plenty of other people out there.
2007-01-19 00:16:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
gosh people can be so mean lol its just a question like once my friend asked me if there was a such thing as animal porn xDD anyway back to the question yea its fine it makes it more sexier although im in love with a butch lesbian ;D
2016-05-24 06:30:18 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thank you for this beautiful story. Now, ask the damn question, I am waiting. Only the gf can answer the one you asked here.
2007-01-19 00:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by Kedar 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
i think that these girls were bi curious and were experimenting their sexuality. unfortunately one has realised she doesnt like the sexuality and wants to pull out. the other feels betrayed and cant beleave shes changing her sexuality and it has hurt her that much she dont want to know her anymore.
let them be and make their own desisions, just make sure your a real friend and be there for them
2007-01-19 00:11:43 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋