My ex and i seperated and i moved in with my mum. The children remained with there dad in our family home, as it was nearer to there school. I visited them daily. One day i called over to see them and they were in bed. I tried to leave but my ex forced me to the ground and raped me. He told me that if i turned up again he would do the same again. I took him to court but i could not prove anything as he was my husband at the time in told the courts that i had consented to having sex with him. It was threw out due to lack of evidence. Im desperate to see my children but i am to scared to call around the house. Please Help. Genuine answers please.
2007-01-18 23:05:43 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, where do you live? Where you reside and the laws in that jurisdiction are critical to how much you can do about the rape especially if you live outside the United States. If you live in the United States, your family courts have a different burden of proof regarding assaults. Get a lawyer, sue him for visitation. The courts can order the transfer of children to be done so that you're safe during the procedure, like having your mother pick them up instead of you, a police escort or the exchange done in a public place like a restaurant.
Contact a rape crisis center and ask them to help guide and support you during your efforts to get visitation.
I am not making any judgments here because when my children were little I left them with their father for a period of two years after we separated, but I question the worthiness of a man having custody that uses rape to control his wife or ex-wife. He is a horrible influence on your children and I urge you to get your life together so that you can try to get custody of your children.
I wish for you and your children the very best of what life has to offer.
Silver2sea
2007-01-18 23:30:04 · answer #1 · answered by silver2sea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go to court and get a visitation order stating that he has to allow you time with the children...the 2 of you can meet in a PUBLIC place to take and receive the children. It would also be wise to make sure you have at least 2 other people with you at the time, or better yet...someone in uniform from you local police dept to escort you safely. A rapist should NOT be raising children!
2007-01-19 07:13:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Start divorce proceedings, though u have to realise that the more time u are allowing them to stay with him will give him leverage when it comes to custody. Because he might argue that u deserted the matrimonial home.
Share this with a counsellor who will organise supervised visits for you.
your kids needs you. he is not fit to be left with kids if he doesnt care about the mother to a point of abusing her. Ur visit to the counsellor and supervised visit will strengthen your case for custody.
sorry he did that to you. Rape is equally traumatic even in marriage. Get yourself a counsellor and good luck.
keep your strength for the kids
2007-01-19 07:41:52 · answer #3 · answered by LadyK 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1) Get a good lawyer and start divorce proceedings. You don't really want to stay married to this jerk do you?!!! This should get you time with your kids.
2) You can get a friend or family member to accompany you when going over to see your kids.
3) You could also visit your kids at their school.
2007-01-19 07:12:47 · answer #4 · answered by chocolate 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Rabit, its natural that u have an attachment for kids.
get a middle man/woman who knows ur husband but is loyal to you.
check if ur kids are keen in meeting you.
arrange for kids picnic where ur husband will not be there.
and meet happily.
and if your kids don want to meet you still u can watch them at least.
if u feel what happened was due to misunderstandings tell ur husband through middleman/woman and try to reconcile
if you dont want to reconcile. dont ruin ur kids life by interfering their life
2007-01-19 07:17:22 · answer #5 · answered by sagar n sagar 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ummmm, how did he end up with the kids? You need to get a better lawyer and get your kids back. Good luck
2007-01-19 07:12:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please don't abandon your children out of fear they need you get as good lawyer girl and do it now.You don't have to go the house why aren't you having weekend access at least try to get custody? and always meet in public with a wittiness
2007-01-19 07:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by deb m 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take someone with you or ask for supervised visits....or guess what....get your kids back with you....why would you leave your kids with a man that would do something like rape their mother and threaten her......
2007-01-19 07:11:01 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
your kids need to know you still love them. there has to be a way to get to them
2007-01-19 07:11:01 · answer #9 · answered by mel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You can not be scared of your husband.Just give hin his dues.He needs it unless you divorce him then he look elsewhere
2007-01-19 07:13:34 · answer #10 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋