Everything has been going well with my boyfriend up until Wednesday when he heard from his boss that he will not promote him. Before this my boyfriend has been very nice and loving but since Wednesday he has been cold, distant and quite irritable easily with me. I called him last night and we got into a fight. He told me that it is not about me when I questioned him about him being so cold with me. He said that he is tired from work and fed up with everything. What can I do please? I am so worried.
2007-01-18 22:37:16 · 17 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Have some sense, give your boyfriend a break. I mean he was expecting to get promoted but it didn't go his way. Be there for him but don't annoy him. You sound quite annoying and I don't even know you. Have some common sense woman!!!!!!!!!
2007-01-18 22:42:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
When he said it isn't about u it isn't it's about him. Right now he is feeling used by his company and boss. Obviously he has been at his job for a while and felt he deserved a pay raise and got disappointed by it being denied. He is confused about what to do.
He is contemplating at this very moment whether he should quit and find another job that will be more attentive of his value to the company or to stay here and seem never to grow or go further at this dead end job.
U on the other hand became so selfish in thinking it is all about u. U didn't stop to think before u picked up that phone to ask him how u could help him and u didn't even show a pinch of concern when u caused an argument and personalized it as u being the victim. He isn't pushing u away he is begging for ur help and support u r just to one sided to notice it.
Get off ur high horse and i don't really mean to be so upfront to u but u need a dose of reality and a ego check. This is when he most needs u and ur input even when he has not asked it of u. Use ur woman's intuition and support ur man by telling him that it will be ok and whatever he decides u will be right there with him.
Now call him back and apologize for ur selfishness unless u r to proud to be the supportive one in which case he's better off without u.
2007-01-18 23:02:08 · answer #2 · answered by papabeartex 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your just like my girlfriend, when ever something bad happens to me and I'm a bit p155ed off it always has to be about her, It can't just be that I have had a bad day or am down at the moment, it always has to be a secret sign that I don't want to be with her. You answer your own question, why is he suddenly distant and cold - He's lost a promotion and is upset. End of, let him know your there and give him some space.
2007-01-18 22:44:00 · answer #3 · answered by joe r 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him some space. Obviously he must have thought that he was in line for a promotion. This has shattered him. Be there for him. Don,t question him. Accept that he is tired and fed up and is nothing personal towards you. We do tend to take it out of those close to us. He will come round after the initial disappointment. If he does continue to be irritable with you perhaps there is more to it than the job. In which case you need to know. But like I say - in the meantime, give him some space.
2016-03-29 04:27:15 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry to hear that your relationship, is causing you hurt at the moment. My directive would be to sit down quietly and imagine your problem, is your best freinds problem, then try and give what you feel is the best advice, and remember there is knowbody you can rely on more than yourself. Trust your own feelings, because ultimately it's your life.
Accept your current situation, and remember, what is good for you will keep you healthy, and whats bad for you will make you unwell. Anyways, i wish you the very best of luck and every future happiness, health, and success. tc
2007-01-18 22:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by michael j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's bitterly disappointed at not being promoted and needs your support - sometimes you just need some down time - time to yourself - to think!
That's what he needs right now - some down time!
By stating to him that you feel he is being cold toward you - you are just piling up more things for him to worry about!
Just phone him and say sorry and that you understand his disappointment (make sure you do understand) and take him out for a drink or a meal!
Don't make it about YOU!
2007-01-18 22:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by jamand 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him be. He needs time to collect himself and find his focus. It's not about, as he said, you so don't take it personally. Let him call you when he's ready to open up again. Drilling him will prevent him from getting himself together on the issue and it could drive you apart.
2007-01-18 22:43:06 · answer #7 · answered by Laura Renee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys are different than girls, and process things differently, but if you are depressed or frustrated, do you like to be pressed about it? probably not. men don't talk about things like women do, but if he wants to, he will probably come to you, so the best thing to do is just let him have a little time and space to process the things in his life. he is obviously stressed and frustrated, he will probably figure things out on his own, and go back to being his normal self.
2007-01-18 22:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by Renee B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It isn't about you. He is probably very depressed & depressed people are irritable. He is also probably shocked. Give him time (however much he needs) & nothing but kindness & support in the meantime. This is a time to forget about yourself. He needs you & when he is ready be there for him 100%.
2007-01-18 22:45:32 · answer #9 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is your job in a relationship to be supportive and understanding, at least for a reasonable amount of time. that was dissappointing to him and people respond to sadness in different ways. he may be a little depressed. just be patient, if he says it's not you, I'm sure he is genuine
2007-01-18 23:16:24 · answer #10 · answered by mel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋