Everything has been going well with my boyfriend up until Wednesday when he heard from his boss that he will not promote him. Before this my boyfriend has been very nice and loving but since Wednesday he has been cold, distant and quite irritable easily with me. I called him last night and we got into a fight. He told me that it is not about me when I questioned him about him being so cold with me. He said that he is tired from work and fed up with everything. What can I do please? I am so worried.
2007-01-18 22:36:29 · 25 answers · asked by violet b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He is obviously going through a tough time...leave him alone for a while!!
2007-01-22 22:34:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
When he said it isn't about u it isn't it's about him. Right now he is feeling used by his company and boss. Obviously he has been at his job for a while and felt he deserved a pay raise and got disappointed by it being denied. He is confused about what to do. He is contemplating at this very moment whether he should quit and find another job that will be more attentive of his value to the company or to stay here and seem never to grow or go further at this dead end job. U on the other hand became so selfish in thinking it is all about u. U didn't stop to think before u picked up that phone to ask him how u could help him and u didn't even show a pinch of concern when u caused an argument and personalized it as u being the victim. He isn't pushing u away he is begging for ur help and support u r just to one sided to notice it. Get off ur high horse and i don't really mean to be so upfront to u but u need a dose of reality and a ego check. This is when he most needs u and ur input even when he has not asked it of u. Use ur woman's intuition and support ur man by telling him that it will be ok and whatever he decides u will be right there with him. Now call him back and apologize for ur selfishness unless u r to proud to be the supportive one in which case he's better off without u.
2016-03-29 04:27:03 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just give him some space. Obviously he must have thought
that he was in line for a promotion. This has shattered him.
Be there for him. Don,t question him. Accept that he is tired
and fed up and is nothing personal towards you. We do tend
to take it out of those close to us. He will come round after the
initial disappointment. If he does continue to be irritable with
you perhaps there is more to it than the job. In which case
you need to know. But like I say - in the meantime, give him
some space.
2007-01-18 23:22:36 · answer #3 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The poor guy must be devestated!!! Just think how you would feel if you were in the same situation. Would you want someone hounding you? Just give him some space and be understanding, dont keep pushing him into a corner. He probably was tired and fed up with everything.
2007-01-18 23:02:45 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey hon, you shouldn't be taking it personally!
We wish our work wouldn't affect our personal life or our personal life wouldn't affect our work ..BUT it is not what happens in reality, is it!?
Being in a relationship means you have to be there for each other, no matter what!
And if that means your boyfriend needs some time to think, re-evaluate the situation or simply cope with it... then you have no choice but to give him some space but still be there for him..
Don't worry, it'll be all back to normal in no time.. The more understanding and supportive you are the sooner this will happen..
Good luck hon
2007-01-18 23:29:54 · answer #5 · answered by Maxi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like he is stressed over work and has alot on his mind. maybe try and do something nice for him to show him u care then he may open up a bit more, maybe just cook him his favourite tea or something and be patient with him.
Communication is important in a relationship and he should be able to share things with u but maybe he just needs a little gentle prompting first and a reminder u care.
try not to take it personally, he may be at a point in his life when he is wondering wot he is doing, or that hes not getting anywhere in life where work is concerned.
2007-01-18 22:46:19 · answer #6 · answered by BABY BELL 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I get into a foul mood over various things at times. It makes it worse when my wife starts cuddling me and saying whats wrong etc. which only makes it worse!
Then , of course, she thinks SHE has done something worng etc. and in the end everyones upset!
Give him space, let him cool down, he is NOT pissed off with you, you KNOW what the problem is, dont go all lovey dovey on him and "try and make it better". Believe me, you will make it worse.
he will get over it.
2007-01-19 00:20:58 · answer #7 · answered by arealhighlander 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has had his confidence shattered and that takes it out of you - put yourself in his shoes for a minute and try not to put more strain on him - try and give him more support - and remember that this is about him - not you - he has enough to deal with without you giving him a hard time too, just let him know you are there for him, don't fight with him.
2007-01-21 09:47:20 · answer #8 · answered by zsphodge 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he must be going through a lot considering his other coleagues are being promoted and he is not!!!you should stop thinking about yourself and offer this guy all the support you can.Encourage him and be there for him.
And for a minute put yourself in his shoes.All the hardwork all the extra hours, all the hopes have gone crashing with that simple phone call.
2007-01-18 22:42:27 · answer #9 · answered by cynnie 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Be understanding, supportive, patient and do not make this about you. He needs time to reconcile a difficulty at work and I can really relate to that. Back off. If you add to the pressure, you'll make even more problems.
2007-01-18 22:47:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
This is not the time for you to be nagging.You know he has problems.The best you can do is be there for him.Dont question him much just do things to show you care.Buy him flowers ,cook someting nice for him,send him a card but dont force him to talk.In due time he will tell you about his problems at work.At the moment just your presence is enough.
2007-01-18 22:46:43 · answer #11 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋