Forever Together…
Forgotten my dreams I’ve collected over the years,
They’ve all turned into empty books that lie in dusty cabinets.
Waited all my life for you,
And though I don’t even own one wrinkle
Believe me it’s been long enough.
Id sacrifice everything for you,
A smile and I’m yours always,
Forever alone and yet together.
My dreams of being an artist and living somewhere in Canada
Wouldn’t mean a thing anyway
If you weren’t there
And so I just wanted you to know
That I love you,
So wherever u want to go,
I will go too.
2007-01-18 21:32:49 · 13 answers · asked by Lindsay T 1 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
1 being bad and 10 being good. I give you an 8.
2007-01-18 21:36:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm, out of 10, I'd give this 7. Good language, but I don't think it all makes sense, there's not a nice flow. You also gave sone lines which are irrelevant, don't say something just for the sake of saying it. Even though They’ve all turned into empty books that lie in dusty cabinets. sound good, it doesn't work in the context of the poem. But overall, I liked it
2007-01-18 21:38:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This poem is somewhat good for a newbie, there is defiantly some positive imagery in it, even though it sorts of lacks direction, its slightly complicated, it starts off with you satisfied you've found someone, yet they don't seem to be somewhat yours? and then they bypass away, it truly is a very good storyline, yet you want for instance a level interior the poem even as they go away. It would not somewhat rhyme in places, which i do no longer blame you for, rhyming poems are very very complicated, so perchance you should in basic terms attempt non rhyming poems first of all. in case you in common words like the idea of rhyming nonetheless, attempt in basic terms making it lyrical even as spoken, counting the syllables in accordance to line is a robust thanks to attempt this. Poetry might want to correctly be relaxing and intensely pleasant, i imagine you should proceed, you may also make some funds! yet you want to purchase a e book on writing poetry to really get the perfect consequences, i like to recommend "the ode a lot less travelled: unlocking the poet interior" by technique of Stephen Fry, he's amazing and and intensely relaxing.
2016-10-15 10:51:16 · answer #3 · answered by tegtmeier 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lindsay Lindsay...ok....The poems goes everywhere. The tittle of the poem should bee called "my life with you" and the line "And though i dont even own one wrinkle"...i get...your not old yet and still young right...it seems to not fit in this poem...In some parts you rhyme but in others you seem to give up huh?...1- 10 i would give you a "3" Try a little better make it meaningful
2007-01-18 21:43:47 · answer #4 · answered by rush805 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Where ever you wana go
I can not come with you
But wish you good luck anyway.
Whatever you do
I can not help you
But wish you good luck anyway.
Youu seems to be a bit passimist to me
Thats not good
Be an optimist anyway,
We may not know each other,
But I am willing to smile with you anyway.
2007-01-18 21:40:49 · answer #5 · answered by brainy m 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Heartfelt :-) 8/10
2007-01-18 21:57:10 · answer #6 · answered by Screamin' Banshee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take 10 points. By the way who is this person for whom you are longing?
2007-01-18 21:46:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a poem from the womb. Very interesting. I like it.
2007-01-18 21:36:31 · answer #8 · answered by queenmaeve172000 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I liked it, it was quite good, give it to the person you wrote it for.
2007-01-18 21:35:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I give it an hight rate
2007-01-18 21:35:04 · answer #10 · answered by Linda 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋