Whats the best or funniest thing you brought home after a night drinking?

Question

You woke up in the morning after a heavy night drinking, what have you found you brought home from the night before?

Traffic cones, For Sale signs, hanging baskets !! do tell 10pts for the funniest story.

Answer 1

I have come home without a few things x

nice to see you

Answer 2

My mate and I had a real collection going on. We managed to somehow hall a temporary bus stop about a mile and a half uphill all the way - and those things have concrete bottoms! We also had the usual traffic selection, those flashing lamps you get off the side of skips - even one that must have been old because it had a parafin wick, rather than being electric - and various for sale signs, house name signs, a bike helmet, some scaffolding and some car hub caps.

By far the funniest incident, though, was the time we tried to saw a bus stop sign off a lampost using a large bow shaped wood saw from his mum's garage. For some reason, we thought it a good idea to sing "The funky Gibbon" while stood on the wall hacking away at the lampost at about 1am.

To our great surprise, this attracted the attention of the police. I legged it over field, garden and through alleyways, but my mate thought the best thing to do was to lie down on the other side of the wall. The weird thing was, that while I got chased for a good ten minutes before getting away down the canal, my mate's seemingly stupid idea of lying down had paid off. When I went back about half an hour later, there he was, asleep in the grass with his saw clutched to his chest.

We didn't get the sign, but it still makes me laugh.

Answer 3

I woke up the day after the millenium new years celebration and I had a full size traffic cone (a heavy one with sand in the bottom) in the middle of my living room floor with no recollection of it getting there. Whats more worrying is that I had been working the new year so I wasn't even that drunk.

Answer 4

well this may be a little off at a tangent to ur question but i think its funny now.......... tho not at the time lol.

i was out drinking with some mates and since we were all having a bad week it was a real bender..... however i somehow got home... i woke up with a crash bang wallop in the wee small hours tho and found that i was stripped naked, put into bed with quilt over me and all the moveable furniture and stuff available in the room was piled up on top of me... so when i rolled over during my sleepy time it all fell off n made such a clatter it scared hell outa me.

nice mates eh? lol no one has admitted being the culprit to this day. so i keep trying to get them all so legless that one day someone will let slip lol.

Answer 5

When I was younger I woke up one morning after a night out and found I'd brought home a load of those flashing yellow lights that they hang around roadworks.

That was a bit trippy to wake up with those in my bedroom.

Answer 6

a concrete kerbstone !

the council were putting a drive accross the pavement so me and a couple of friends carried a 3foot length of concrete kerbstone into my friends house, it took 3 of us to carry it and i think his dad used it for part of the foundation for a gazebo.

have also over the years aquired the following on drunken nights out :

Traffic cone - several -
men at work sign - 1 -
3ft gnome - 1 -
for sale sign - 2 -
flashing hazard light - 1 -
hotel room key - 1 - (not been anywhere near the hotel)

disposable camera -1- not mine and have never dared get the photo's developed :-)

Answer 7

Ah, that old chestnut? I do become a kleptomaniac once inebriated. More beermats than I could possibly have carried, ashtrays (many of which still contained the sort of thing you find in pub ashtrays), various shapes and sizes of glass - some with beer still in them - one of those all in one wooden table and bench things from a beer garden (I presume), various items of clothing that are not mine - jackets, bras and shoes - particulalry wellies for some reason, mainly, car hub caps - and an actual car wheel on one occasion (maybe the hub cap wouldn't come off?) wing mirrors, registration plates (and peices thereof - it seems they are easily broken), windscreen wipers, car aerials, two bumpers - 1 with tow bar attached, bricks (several, assorted), three garden gates, house numbers, house name plates, hanging baskets, small trees and shrubs - usually in pots, but not always, a satelite dish (I actually felt a bit bad about that one - depriving someone of sky sports), numerous TV arials, various bits of wiring, drainpiping, roof tiles, lengths of barbed wire, advertising boardings, a school signboard, several streetsigns and direction signs, roadworks signs, cones of various size and colour, a temporary traffic light complete with cable, a no entry sign, speed signs 30, 40, 50 and national speed limit, a parking meter cover, a couple of paving slabs, some police tape, four red and white bollards, one of those white bollards from a central reservation, a bus seat (not a whole one - just the removable bit you sit on), an extremely long peice of white plastic that I have no idea what it's for, four or five shopping trolleys, cardboard boxes, bundles of newspapers and magazines left on newsagents' doorsteps, pints of milk left on doorsteps, lightbulbs, a fencepost, God only knows how many footballs and tennis balls, a briefcase containing only one pen and an A-Z of Bristol - which is a bit weird in itself, a hen party's blow up man in fireman's uniform with the L plate round it's neck, an inflatable sheep, several glow sticks, quite a few comedy wigs, a number of pizza boxes - although they could be from pizzas I have paid for and eaten, 1 roller boot, half a pair of soggy boxer shorts, what appears to be a length of window sealant, a wheelbarrow, an old toilet, bath and sink set, a couple of old toilets on their own, a tarpaulin, two carpets, several bunches of flowers (really weird), a twelve inch version of "I'm Too Sexy" by Right Said Fred (although I may have won this in karioke) and a couple of those big cotton umbrella things from the middlew of a table.

I think that's most of it...

Answer 8

wel other than my now husband>

traffic cone1
traffic flashing lite thing 1
workmen workin sign 1
which i placed all in front of my mums frontdoor on the inside

mens boxers 6pairs
8 lighters
a hanging basket so sorry if this b longed 2 ne 1 ere!

erm and my next door neigbours wife oops!

lol;0)

Answer 9

i stayed at a mate house in town one night - was out drinking heavily with a few of the lads and we all got separated - i don't really remember much - but i remember txting my gf blind drunk on snake bite and walking into a bus stop, cutting my nose opens. So with blood gushing out of me - the bouncer let me in the club for free so i could wash my self up- which i didn't do. about 3 in morn some1 took me to my mates - woke up in a pool of my own blood and also 4ftx3ft happy birthday sign for some girl called Rebecca. my mate was pissed off for sure.

Answer 10

I found a dining table and 4 chairs someone had left out to be collected by bin men,but i had just moved into my new flat,and didnt have one,so made 3 trips back and forwards to get them back to my place.
Blimmey was I shocked in the morning to find them in my livingroom....didnt remember doing that at all....lol

Answer 11

A girl from 2 states away that was crossed eyed, and had no nipples to say of. (Yes it is true, not a joke, and to make matters funnier, the morning we woke up, was the day of my family reunion and I already had alot of relatives there (lived at home and was 22 at the time)) had to take her home too.