Going on divorce proceeding but still stay together?

Question

husband betrayal.. finally got the courage to file for divorce, but this won't happen immediate, still waiting for the sessions to come, here it will take abt 3-6 months, if he did not contest.

however, i did not want to shift out of the house cos i still have two child schooling nearby, and i really dun want to disrupt their lifestyle, furthermore my son is autistic.

but he also refused to move out now. anyway he work night shift, and i work day time, we just met less than one hour per day...

but how come, i still feel worry, upset if he dun come home, i still worry abt his meals and clothings ... he dun care for me AT ALL .. why ami so stupid?

i am a muslim. in singapore
as long as the husband agrees, it can be quite fast for the court to process.. unless he denied abt the charges i brought up, that is physical abuse and extra marital affairs... then i will have to produce evidence in order to complete the proceeding.

Love? Well it take two, although i still love him but he already has someelse new inhis heart. So i finally come to realise that what I had is gone and now i need to bury it and start to find a new life.

Answer 1

Still living together while processing through a divorce ? ! ! !

Ouch. . . yuch. . .

Actually, when I was divorcing four years ago we agreed in November to divorce. My former husband said he would move out after the holidays and we agreed on date of mid January. Well into February, he had still not moved out . . . he kept 'dragging' his feet even though we both agreed to divorce. I finally called our mediating attorney and told them of this. . . The attorney then had a 'legal' talk with him and 'forced' him to set a move out date...One and a half weeks later he moved out. . . and we continued on with our divorce.

Those months from November to January were very uncomfortable. And those weeks well into the new year before he finally moved out were infuriating and nauseating to still be under the same roof with him. Today, we are at peace and all is right with the world.

Maybe talk with attorney about this move out issue.
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Sometimes guys will listen to the attorney before they listen to the wife.
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Answer 2

When 2 persons got married and stay together for some time, their love will normally develop into a next level where you will treat each other like family member, just like your brother and sister. You become used to the exitence of each other. Thus, even you don't love each other, but will still care.

Answer 3

Your not stupid at all ! You obviously loved you hubby to marry him in the first place. Now that you are separated, you cannot have a switch to turn your heart off from caring. Because you live in the same house then it is going to be harder than most divorces but for your kids sake you need to try. Try little steps... spilt the food bill into two or better yet do your own shopping... Separate your belongings... yours in your room his in his room. Baby steps ... you are doing fine !!!

Answer 4

Maybe you are not really sure you want the divorce. You probably know that you need to move on & that you deserve to be with someone who loves you, respects you and is honest & loyal, but it is always hard to let go, it is that feeling of comfort, habit, familiariaty that eats away at us. When kids are involved it makes it even more difficult, so for the sake of your children make up your mind one way or the other so they do not have to ride your emotional roller coaster with you

I don't know what state you live in, bu I am an attorney and in most states a prerequisite for divorce is actually living sepearate and apart for a period of time (6 months in most states) THIS MEANS THAT YOU ARE INTERRUPTING YOUR TIME PERIOD BY REMAINING IN THE SAME HOME. One of you have to move out. You don't want to and that is understandable. Even if he is the owner of the home you may be entitled to reman in the home, the law is different in every state.

You wrote that you have actually filed for divorce, did you retain an attorney? If not I suggest you do so. Divorce , especially when property division &CUSTODY ISSUES are involved is extremely complicated. your attorney can & should put in your pettion for divore that you and the minor children retain the use of the family home for the interim time period while the divorce is pending, you cna ask for alimony (don't know if you are in a jursidiction that requires that you be free of fault to receive permanent spousal support, but in every state CHILD SUPPORT IS ALWAYS AWARDED, this is not something you can give up even if you wanted to. you have the right to give away or bargain away any of your rights but not the rights of minor children (even more so when you have a child with special needs) If you have beeen the primary caregiver, circumastances such as school etc will sway the judge to give you atleast temporary possession of the family home. Then after the divorce you can go to court on the ancillary issues, and you can ask that you be permittted to remain in the home until the kids reach the age of majority or out of the home or out of school.

please make sure to consult a good attorney, if you do not you could make irreversable, permanent mistakes.

i cannot offer you legal advise, but i am certain that a lawyer in your state will tell you that under no circumstances should you move out, AND NEVER EVER MOVE OUT WITHOUT YOU KIDS. petition the court to force your husband to move out

MAKE SURE YOU DO NOT ATTEMPT TO HANDLE THIS MSOT COMPLICATED AREA OFLAW WITHOUT AN EXPEREINCED FAMILY LAW ATTY ON YOUR SIDE, DIVORCE GETS UGLY AND YOU NEED EVERY ADVANTAGE YOU CAN HAVE

GOOD LUCK

Answer 5

You filed for divorce because of your anger when your husband betrayed you but deep down in your heart, you are still concern about him and the children because you still love him and your children. My advise is why dont you reconsider about the divorce. Give him another chance. It doesnt matter if he doesnt care about you but so long you still take care of him and your children. I have a friend who filed for divorce but withdraw as she still loves her family. The husband ignore her but i know that deep down that they still loves each other. You know, love doesnt need to be shown but if you have been married for long, you know your husband well.

Take care and good luck

Answer 6

Well I think that you are still used to the life that you have with your hubby even though he betray you. You must start to learn to cope with your life when your hubby is not around and pay more attention to your kids. Once you are able to do this, I think you will start to forget the unhappiness that your husband have brought to you.

Answer 7

I think you still love him, you are starting to miss him already. Are you really wanted to divorce him? think again... Love sometimes blind a person. You're just being rude to yourself, let go. coz letting go is just another way of saying "I LOVE YOU" so...

Answer 8

Cuz u still love him.

I think u should take him to Dr.Phil