Child custody?

Question

Okay so me and my ex had a daughter december of 2006,he left me 6 months into the pregnancy.The fight we had before we broke up he threw me against the wall.Then we decided to be friends for the child,so when the child was born he came to the hospital after the birth,and then saw her once a week well she recently went back to the hospital with a stomach bug and we had to be there for 3 days instead of being there for her he went bowling with his friends.So after that i was like you have one more chance so we went over there the next week,then this week he said he was coming over and he decided to go with his friends.I said if you dont come today when you are supposed to then dont expect nothing.He told me he will win custody.He hasn't helped with buying anything for her,hit me during the pregnancy(have my ex roomate as a witness)also just recently got a job,and lives with his mom.I live with my mom and i am looking for a job currently on welfare but only until i start home school. Help

i never once told him he couldnt see his child he is the one who is falsley taking me to court im not trying to get back at him or i wouldnt let him see her at all,just want him to help out raising her instead of runnin around with his friends.so whatever

i am going after for child support.

Answer 1

He will not win custody of your child. I would take him to court to collect child support though and to file a custody order to have him with supervised visits only because of his history of domestic violence. If he walks in cocky the judge will set him straight.

Answer 2

hate to tell you this girlfriend but you can't MAKE him see the child. It's a pain and it will drive you up the wall but all you can do is be a good mother. Unless you're doing drugs, neglecting your child or something terrible, he won't get custody, so don't worry about that. If he is ducking out of the scary notion of being a good father, you can't do much about it. He'll get visitation and have to pay child support and you'll just have to bite your tongue and put up with him acting like an ***.

On the plus side, lots of boys turn into men after a baby is born. Whenever you deal with him, always always always make it about the baby and never waste your time or energy getting angry enough to yell at him: it won't solve anything and it will make him act worse. Just shrug your shoulders and take good care of your baby. That is the best yu can do. Don't worry about what he's doing.

Answer 3

Get a lawyer and the lawyer will straighten all this out. You will get a custody agreement and it will state how much he has to pay etc. And this will be garnished from his wages. Obviously he wasnt ready to have a baby. Hes just throwing around threats to freak you out. Most lawyers will work with you on the financial side where you can make payments etc. But I would try the District attorneys office first and even the welfare office can help by recommending what legal steps you need to take and maybe they can help you find someone to help you. The welfare office will be most interested in helping you get child support so that you can help take care of your child. Take care and good luck...

Answer 4

1) Never, ever, under any circumstances use a child as emotional blackmail......EVER..........a child is a helpless human being not a pawn to use as a weapon against your ex.

2) Go to court to get custody and child support

3) I suggest some kind of counselling to help both of you deal with each other, with parenting issues and with his past history of violence.

4) He may be acting the way he is as a way of convincing you and himself that you cannot control him, and that may be what he is afraid of...being seen as being under your control.

5) You both sound very young. Please remember that ultimately the most important person in all of this is your daughter. Adults can stand alone and make their own decisions, but children cannot. A parent must be there to help, guide and protect a child.
Think ahead 10 - 15 years. What will child think of both her mother and father, and their actions when she was young?

I am not sure what you mean by home school. If you are undertaking a course of study in order to improve your chances of employment then I wish you success. Think of the future and know that hard work studying now will ensure a better future for your daughter. Set yourself goals: daily, weekly, monthly, yearly, and strive to attain them. You can do whatever you set your mind to do with hard work and a good attitude.

Remember, a child needs both a mother and a father, and the only thing that would preclude your ex's involvement in raising your daughter is his violent nature. You both need to communicate with each other and think of your daughter's welfare.

Answer 5

To help your case, when he was abusive to you did you by any chance file a police report? You do not need an abusive man near your child. What if she cries to much or he can not quiet her down what will he do? For your childs saftey. Plus sometimes the state you live in favors the woman.

Good luck.
Also you may want to look for a lawyer as well just to help your case. When you go to court make sure you have a set of the doctors report just to show you are a good mom making sure she is getting all her shots and check ups.

Answer 6

Okay well I hae a 13 month old and her sperm donor (that is all he is, not her father) comes and goes when he pleases never has helped her at all. I do not let him see her. Think about what is int he best interest of your child. No court is going to take your child away from you and give the baby to him unless you are causing harm to the child. Do not let him get to you. Do go after him for child support. Public aid will also go after him to. Public aid will not do child visitation he will have to get a lawyer for that.... Just make sure you do all that you are suppose to when it comes to taking caring of her and watch what you do. That way he has nothing on you for him to use against you in court.....
GOOD LUCK!!!!!

Answer 7

Hello there. Before he starts court proceedings. Go and visit you solicitor and ask for a named parent order. This can be done without going to court.

Tell you solicitor the situation. This tells the court that you are the soul provider for this child.

This would make any custody order very difficult to stick because this order states that your not sure if the baby is his or not.

I know this is underhanded but think about the safety of your child.
Especially if he has hurt you already.

Good Luck

Answer 8

Ok l am in criminal justice and i do know MANY times they side with the mother. Now don't get your hopes up. If your child is taken care of and she has food and shelter and you treat her well, you haven't done anything wrong. Just stay calm about it because you won't be able to think strait with a stressed out mind. You know you take care of you daughter and if you tell your story ,the judge will too. Just be patient everything always works out.

Answer 9

you need to see a solicitor specialising in family law. with the evidence you have he would definately not get custody so dont worry about that, it is very rare for children to be taken from their mothers. the father has the right to regular access but you also have the right to insist he pays something towards the upbringing of the child. if you are concerned about the violent nature of this man, you can insist that the access he has with your daughter is supervised, at least at first. this will put your mind at ease a little. get legal help, you and your child wil be fine x

Answer 10

First of all you can't keep him from seeing his child and you can't FORCE him to see her either, you can not use HER as a threat against him, if you continue to do so he CAN get custody of her because you are using her to get back at him. That is not being a parent that is being a vendictive spoiled child.
You need to get a lawyer so that your CHILD can get child support, YOU need a job to support YOU so that you can get off welfare...oh and GROW UP you have a baby now, your days of being a spoiled brat are over...