I am an honest person who now knows that I am deeply in love with my wife, I have sort of failed to touch her heart before, would love to be able to make her realise this but someone else has touched her heart and she has been frank with me and not hidden anything and has come out of that (non existent) relation, she was really crazy for the past 3 months for this person, now she is trying her best to be a good wife but is finding hard to give me the love. She appreciates the changes in me and does adore me but something is stopping her from coming close to me. She has also sort of taken back and feels quite lethargic and I can tell that she misses this other person terribly in her mind but how can I help her? I have understood what she felt and even befriended this other gentleman and have spoken to him and he too admits that this is craziness but it is my wife who outwardly agrees but inwardly is grieving for something she can never be happy with.
2007-01-18 18:48:40 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
She has a quandry - she loves you and does not want to hurt you..and now you have undergone this change and so she want to continue your marriage.
Yet, she loves this other person, one who did not need to change to show her he loved her. Now, she is trying to cut him out of her life. If she is successful, she moves on, he moves on...and then you revert back to your oldself. Where does that leave her..alone.
Can you blame her? you did not appreciate her or show her you how you loved her until you felt you could lose her.
2007-01-18 19:03:16 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.....
Sometimes they say it is ok for a man to cheat as the wife will still accept you in the end. In some cultures it is true, but do they think the wife will forget how his man cheated.
In your case, you are now the husband who lost the longing of your wife, she found happiness in others arms.
I do admire your love to your wife, and how you tried to win her back, to the point talking to the person your wife admire.
It may take days, weeks, months, years or never to win back you wife, but to let her know you are now beside her, to give the love you have not able to show to her before, but now you learned your fault, thats what relationship is all about, to accept and change.
Ask also the guy if possible to see other girls, so your wife will soon realize she is not being fancied by the guy.
But if you can afford, better move out and start again in a very far place, sometimes a change of place helps changes to happen in a person.
I hope for the best for your relationship.
2007-01-19 03:21:16 · answer #2 · answered by civilestimator 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this other relationship is truly over and your wife truly wants to be with you then you need to give her the time to heal and come to know you all over again. It sounds as if she may have sought out attention from someone else because she felt she wasn't getting it from you. I gather this from you said at the first of your statement. I would strongly suggest marriage counseling for you both if you both want to save this marriage. Is it worth it. Only the two of you can answer that.
2007-01-19 03:45:28 · answer #3 · answered by Diana P 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a psychiatrist cuz that is some messed up ****.
You know that your wife is pining away after some other dude and your only concerned about HER? Be concerned about YOU... dang do you really want a wife like that? Sounds like she thinks she's got you wrapped around her baby finger if she can openly pine away after other guys and you not even bat an eyelash and you just sit back and try to 'help her'. Suggest a trial separation and see if that brings her around.
2007-01-19 02:59:06 · answer #4 · answered by Elysia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should consider carefully whether or not you have actually done anything to cause her to behave in this manner. If you have then you should do everything within your power to make it up to her. If you have not done anything to cause it, maybe you weren't as compatible as you thought you were when you got together.
2007-01-19 04:10:17 · answer #5 · answered by orderly logic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what ever makes your wife happy. If you truely love love and she'd rather be with someone else... let her go
2007-01-19 02:57:55 · answer #6 · answered by typical dude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont help yourself
2007-01-19 03:25:03 · answer #7 · answered by sud 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋