How do I get respect on my rowing team that is all boys (only girl)?

Question

I'm the coxin on the all boys rowing team @ my college. I'm a freshmen girl and I adore my sport with a passion and I love the guys on my team like brothers.After I have been with them for such a long time they treat me like another boy, and they give me a harder time because i'm the only girl. In the past I have kissed 2 boys when I wasn't on the team.I hear about it about everyday and I havn't kissed anyone in about 4 months. they also runion any time a guy approches me and scare them off

They will lock me out fo the ergg room in the cold for about 10 mins cause they think it's funny I don'tknwo the code.They burst in my room at 3 in the morning drunk and wake me and my hallway up

If they don't treat me with more respect when we get back on the water in spring things won't go as smoothly

recently the onther coxin said they said they don't want to be in my boat as a joke but that comment hurts me

How do I get respect on my team back and treated like a sister over a brother

omg farthest thing from a tom boy in the world!

They row me around in a boat

I have been a cheerleader since i was 7 until now

I am not a tom boy in any way shape or form they all just get to pushy

second time i'm not a tom boy i have been coxing races for half the year. I love my boys 2 death they are just over showing there love back.

someones like telling me how much I have to weight i;m like 110 i'm way ahead of you... lol I just need something to tell them next time they go over the top. I have a feeling if i acted more liek a guy i would get more respect I act girly.

another thing is the guys need me they have no one else

Answer 1

This is very hard and I feel for you. You can be yourself and do the best job you can do. The other thing you really should do is to take a stand. Confront them all and remain deadly serious. Tell them flat out that you are a member of the team just like they are, that you work very hard and you deserve respect. If there are questions, tell them that you feel they are being disrespectful with some of their antics. Make it clear that this is not a joke and stare down anyone who tries to treat it like one. Then afterwards, continue to talk to them as you normally would. Go on and work hard. I hope you find this helps. Best of luck to you. :)

Answer 2

respect must begin first within yourself. you must present yourself as a respectable person, and as such, your team mates would realize that they were treating you wrongfully.

now, as your sports is rowing, dress the part. no provocative outfits or even slightly sexy dresses. you're going to row and not to walk in a ramp.

next, don't be too sweet "i'm your little sister, you're my brother" otherwise the boys would think you are flirting. much worse, flirting to everyone in the team. these boys already had their share of sisters, and they wouldn't need another sister like you. what they need is a team mate, nothing else.

ever heard of business doesn't mix with pleasure? the bottom line here is, be professional as you can be. be frank with them, but never confrontational otherwise it would sound like you're threatening them. point out their mistakes and tell them how they affect you. ASK THEM WHAT YOU SHOULD DO TO BE TREATED AS A TEAM MEMBER, AND NOT AS ONE OF THE BOYS. got what i mean?

good luck girl! and oops, if they continue to bully you for no reason at all, maybe it is time for you to move on. look for another team. sports should be fun, and while it could hurt you physically, it should never in anyway, harm your self respect.

Answer 3

All that treatment would make me more determined to be a better coxswain. The thing is don't complain to them because it will give them more of a "reason" to harrass you. Where is your coach when all of this is taking place? If you think it's going to bother your performance, I'd have a talk with the coach. I wouldn't give them the satisfaction of you quitting. Stick to your guns, don't give up, and do your best. When your boat starts winning, they may still see you as a "girl", but you'll be looked upon as a winner. Then what are they going to do?

Answer 4

I urge you to talk to a leader of the group first about your feeling and your need to be accepted as a sister. You have to see how the leader says and then ask him to call everyone for a conference. Do not be afraid to speak up. It is about time you stand tall. Try to be a diplomat as much as you can. Let everyone talks and listen to their opinions. Try to negotiate and learn how to work as a team. You will get respect when you speak up and be firm with everyone. Good luck and you must be a good sport. Otherwise, they ( the boys ) will not let you be in their boat.

Answer 5

If you ask me, I will tell you sincerely that you need to be dedicated enough to keep on winning. It does not matter if you are a girl, but you have to be good at what you do, extremely good.
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The coxswain is responsible for controlling the pace of crew over a 2,000-meter course. His commands are carried to the rowers by a small onboard speaker system. A small computer shows the coxswain the stroke rate, elapsed time and boat speed. He uses that information along with his own observations of the racing crews to vary surges of his own boat.
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You have to be thin too, because you are a deadweight since you are not rowing..
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Hard work, and get the team to win.

Answer 6

What there are no girl rowing teams? Why do you feel you have to be anything to them? You know what being treated like crap is not love and aceptance. I dont know if you are the tomboy type, if so i get it and thats cool i actualy like tomboys as long as they are still like women.
But hey dont be afraid or hesitate to be feminine its way more atractive than most think now days. Find some women to compete with and play on the same team with if possible.

Answer 7

What are you doing to show them you aren't going to put up with BS anymore? It's fine that you like the guys, but maybe you should consider the girls crew instead.

Answer 8

Well I would suggest to stand your ground. Whenever you feel disrespected tell them no matter where you are and infront of whom. I know and It's helped me.

Answer 9

Remind them it's about technique not strength and as a team they will achieve more together...

Answer 10

I think that u should sleep with evryone of them.

Then u will have their respect.