I've been talking with and very much involved with a guy for nearly 2 years now. At first when he and I got together I was very skeptical, because of our age difference for one thing, he's 27 and I'm 38, and another, because of our color, he's white and I'm of course black, but as time went on we managed to get passed all that and grew so close that we even said things or "jinxed" alot and even referred to one another as "soulmates". Like any other couple we often argued alot, but nothing too serious where as we didn't eventually talk and work things out. Other than that we were happy. But recently we had a very big falling out, and went for days without speaking to each other, no more than a few emails trying to still place "blame" on each other. But this argument felt really different from any of the ones we've had in the past. He has a friend,(married,female,22), that started to "slander" me and make judgements,making things worse. We talked tonight,but should i be worried?
2007-01-18 18:22:58 · 10 answers · asked by creamycherry2004 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
If you want to be with him don't give up. Women are bitchy and his friend will see it as she is sticking up for him. Ignore her and concentrate on him
2007-01-18 18:29:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to keep talking and make sure if any third parties are getting involved that they get 'uninvolved' After all it is a relationship between 2 people not 3 or more! Besides if he is more inclined to listen to someone elses opinion over yours then that speaks volumes about your relationship.
Also, although I know it is hard you have to try and get over your insecurities about age and race differences. You can't ignore them, but at the same time you have to move forward with your relationship not constantly go over and over the same issues.
The sort of ot all is keep talking, but also try and be positive. Listen to what he says as much as you talk about how you feel. Good luck!
2007-01-18 18:30:27 · answer #2 · answered by waggy 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You clearly regret the argument you had and that is what you must tell him. Who gives a s***t as to who was to blame? Blame has nothing to do with it. Tell him you are sorry that you argued and that you still want to see him and very much care for him.
Slander?? So what? It's only words and untrue ones at that, so what does that matter? Ignore it and concentrate on getting things back to where they were.
2007-01-18 18:32:13 · answer #3 · answered by The Alchemist 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol no you shouldnt be worried,because i'm the one you're asking the question about and i know whats going on.
I think you should of mentioned that the 22 yr old married female is just someone that i talk to on the internet and have never actually met and is on another continent.
She's just a friend i talk to on the net,nothing more.She's happily married also.
2007-01-19 00:35:08 · answer #4 · answered by k k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
possibly, what do you guys fight about all the time? how has she slandered you? you're leaving out some juicy details!!
best thing to do, cut off all electronic contact. go and see him (not at work or anything, that's just crazy) you won't know what's happenin until your face to face. if you continue to talk to computer screens or cell phones, they'll become less and less frequent until they ultimately disappear.
go and talk to him face to face, and actually work something out. don't say you'll change, and then next week be fightin over the same socks. relationships are about negotiations and compromise to get what both of you want.
think of hustling in Chinatown, you gotta work something out to get that cool fingertrap.
2007-01-18 18:33:17 · answer #5 · answered by robyoung3484 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As much as I feel for you, I think you miscategorized this question. You do realize that it ended up in the "Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgendered" category, right?
Try to put blame aside and work it out. If you really love him and you know he loves you...maybe even a short 'time out" wouldn't hurt.
Sometimes you just gotta suck it up and take the blame, even if you know you're right just to keep the peace.
2007-01-18 18:33:05 · answer #6 · answered by DEATH 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you should be. Resolve your differences quickly. If you continue to have "falling outs", there is a problem you and must address them. If there is another person in the equation, that is the reason for the change in his behavior. Time to move on!
2007-01-18 18:31:44 · answer #7 · answered by Cool Wolf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The guy has answered says you shouldn,t be worried.
He says you don,t have to because this girls married and
living in another continent. However,WHAT do they talk about? Is it the weather, the price of butter? Its' enough to upset you.
Have you spoke to this girl? why don,t you talk to her husband?
Obviously there is something to be worried about or you would
not be seeking answers. CUT THE NET. Make him talk to you
and face to face and see what he wants. He didn,t give much away just, reading his answer. Why doesn,t he just forget this
other girl because if she is slandering you to him and he isn,t
standing up for you - FORGET HIM.
2007-01-21 23:59:54 · answer #8 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you need to think very hard about you are goin to do about the whole situation. it is hard for me to give you an answer because i dont know what u argued about, but i think things are just meant to be maybe you are not meant to be with him or maybe u are and then u will need to talk to him and see if he wants to work things out.
2007-01-18 18:31:50 · answer #9 · answered by Ch!cks b4 D!cks anyday!!!! 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe.
when you talked tonite,
was it face to face.?
not over the phone, i hope.
face to face talks are what matters, when things
are being turbulent.
Good luck
2007-01-18 18:38:52 · answer #10 · answered by john john 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋