ok.. we use to watch porn , once in a while together.. was great fun.. then i found him once chatting (cyber sex) broke my trust and months later he started looking at porn behind my back .. and lying about it.. and now he has stopped porn .. but goes to various.. sites like myspace.. etc.. to look at regular nude women.. he knows it hurts me and he does it rarely .. but swears each time he wont do it again.. and then has a lapse like a month later.. what do i do?
2007-01-18 17:53:51 · 20 answers · asked by unsure24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
yes.. i do realize men look at porn.. its hurts me cause its always behind my back.. when we use to use it together.. and he says to take away the internet etc.. so he doesnt have to worry about it.. it bothers me cause i am not his mom.. and feel thats extreme.. he gets it hurts me .. or so he says.. but i told him today i was leaving and packed my stuff i think im going away for a few days to a friend in vegas .. i have no close friends in state.. but i dont wanna go. i want to work it out.. i love him and its like with the exception of this he has done everything for me.. i know he sees me cry over it.. and he tries to comfort me then.. so why cant he just stop it before it starts.. or if the urge hits.. let me know .. to involve me..
2007-01-18 18:59:12 · update #1
A lot of you females are saying to leave him or divorce him. How can she do that when it was OK for the both of them to do it at one time. i agree that he should not be doing it behind her back, but there should be some type of compromise.
If you both were into porn before, maybe try experimenting and making your own movie. Ask him what he would like, tell him what you would like, communicate with each other to see what would work for the both of you. There is more to sex than just the actual act. Play dress up, role play, make yourself more interesting to him than the nudie pics he is seeing on the internet.
2007-01-18 18:04:20 · answer #1 · answered by alcontch 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus is a great way to explain this situation.
What you need to think about is whether or not he has ever done anything that has really hurt your marriage. I understand that it bothers you, but men are physical creatures and women are emotional.
For a man, looking at a naked woman is exciting. For a woman, a romantic book or movie is the same thing.
So, should he complain when you get all dreamy-eyed watching The Lake House?
I am not saying what he does is right, but I also do not see it harming your marriage, either.
You said that you USED TO watch porn together. Why are not allowing him to watch them with you now?
2007-01-18 18:08:16 · answer #2 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What do you not like about it? That fact that he's looking at porn or that you're not doing it together. If you have a problem with it, then TELL HIM.. You are not a prude. He is making you feel insecure. Start doing things to make you feel secure. Don't worry about him, if he knows what he's got at home is good, then it's just leisure. If he starts acting weird or different, then I would tell him to get a new account.
2007-01-18 18:01:42 · answer #3 · answered by pussnboots333 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
porn is addictive, Its a monster that grows and grows, the more you see the more you want to see, And you look at worse and worse stuff,
He needs to seek help. Get a close friend who he can talk to about this who is willing to help he walk away from this addiction.
Just like drugs or alcohol it can ruin you.
2007-01-18 17:59:47 · answer #4 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Guys are guys,if the 2 of you used to watch porn, together maybe he misses that emotional bond,he felt with you. If he stays home and not trying to meet anyone online......let it go! but at any rate he is missing something, in your relationship.....try to find it....or allow his guilty pleasure!!
2007-01-18 18:03:30 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Install a blocker program most are free like bluecoat's K9 porn and website blocker. Just google K9 Bluecoat and install it and set it to only adult content and myspace.
-NmD!
2007-01-18 17:58:23 · answer #6 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have the same proble but i just learned that man r like lil kids the more u say no the more they will do it what u need to do is go out n buy some porn BUTwith some real fat girls or ugly ugly girls then he will get over it trust me!!!!!!!!!= )
2007-01-18 17:59:18 · answer #7 · answered by The Boss 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he can't stop even tho he tries, it is quite possible he's addicted. It sounds like he's exhibiting a "binge" pattern. He tries to stop,but then"binges" on porn. He might need to see someone.
2007-01-18 17:59:15 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
it will take not too long and your husband would stop doing it. If not, why not try watching the nude thing together and enjoy with him? If you cannot beat him, join him!
2007-01-18 17:59:04 · answer #9 · answered by ED LU 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch, I can feel the heartbreak. I don't know why, but my husband lies about it too. It's soooo stupid cuz I like porn too. I guess guys feel guilty so they feel that they have to hide it.
2007-01-18 17:59:20 · answer #10 · answered by Tasha 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋