My wife left me in March 1999 and I cannot go on with my life. I still feel like she is my wife and I am still deeply in love with her even though I know she will never come back. Is this normal?
2007-01-18 17:09:07 · 33 answers · asked by elayas 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It may or may not be 'normal', but it certainly isn't healthy.
Respectfully, you need serious professional help. You have internalized your feelings and failed to do your healthy grieving and move on. The first stage of grieving is denial, and you are stuck there. Go see a grief counselor and get your life back. Best of luck.
2007-01-18 17:11:13 · answer #1 · answered by Dorothy and Toto 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who can say what's normal for you? Is it usual to feel that way for that long? Probably not. But your feelings belong to you and no one can tell you that they're wrong.
However, since you realize she will never come back to you, it is time for you to move on with your life. You would do best to get some counseling so you can at least talk out this problem and get some help with working it out. Perhaps you have deeper issues and fears when it comes to changing your life. Just the fact that you feel you can't go on warrants a few counseling sessions. You may need some medication to help you out of the depression over the divorce so you can think more logically and make better decisions for yourself.
Start with a talk with your family doctor and let him/her help you go from there. Good luck!
2007-01-18 17:19:04 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is completely normal, and there are plenty of other people that feel how you do. While it is understandable that you are 'depressed' after your wife left, i think that if you haven't already, you should definitely seek professional help. Some therapy, or a therapist could do you some good in getting over your wife and moving forward in life. Life is short, and you can;t spend it all grieving! I hope i helped.
2007-01-18 17:16:35 · answer #3 · answered by IICEdesigner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh wow, you poor soul. You sound very lonely and like you have given all your tomorrows away to yesterday.... you need to regain some power in your life. You need to invest in yourself and find out just what you have to offer in this life... you sound intelligent, so I imagine you have gifts you haven't even unwrapped yet. I would like to recommend that you try the energy therapy Emotional Freedom technique to help you to deal with your "love pain". You can read a little about how it worked for someone else who felt similarly to you at http://tinyurl.com/ykqdqu and then scroll to the bottom of the page to download the basic manual that will teach you the easy-to-learn, easy-to-appy technique that REALLY works. You will overcome your fear of being deeply hurt again and will regain some of the confidence that seems to have drained out of your life. Make wise choices befitting your value system.
Peace in 2007!
2007-01-18 17:16:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lots of people go longer than that without sex. Normal is pretty much what you find comfortable for you. The way you feel about your (wife) you would not enjoy having sex with another. You would feel guilty
2007-01-18 17:13:21 · answer #5 · answered by swamp elf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No my friend it's not normal but it's unfortunately the "norm". I would advise try going to a place called Church and join a group of your age and start dating people who are in your situation. Sex is an important thing but it's not the ONLY things. Have you maturbated ? Not trying to be nasty. But do not go looking for a common "whore" The best of Luck my friend.
2007-01-18 17:16:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would recommend that you get some help counseling from a therapist maybe a church pastor, I will attach a web site that may help.
IT is a group that helped me. It is time to move on with your life, You should have healed from this. You need to begin the healing process.
Best of luck
2007-01-18 17:21:22 · answer #7 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is a very tragic story. Im very sorry to hear that. However, you can't make anyone love you. I suggest that you try your best to move on. Even if it means therapy. You will find someone, and your sexual needs will be satisfied when the time is right. And since it has been so long, it will be GREAT...
Good Luck ; )
2007-01-18 17:17:15 · answer #8 · answered by Bre 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well every person has there own way of dealing and own time period of when they move on with things but I don't think that you are moving on I think you are just waiting for her to come back and say she made a mistake. I would slowly get back into the social seen again.
2007-01-18 17:41:46 · answer #9 · answered by FullofQuestions 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be curious as to why she left you. If you did something wrong during the marriage then maybe now you live with regret. It could be considered normal if you really truely love her. Is she with someone else now? Why do you feel she will never come back? If she isn't with someone else and you didn't do something terrible during the marriage to her; then maybe try to locate her and tell her how you feel.
2007-01-18 17:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by Tgirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋