A thought provoking question about the nature of women...read more?

Question

I dated this girl for a year and a half and we eventually broke up because of all the problems we had. Toward the end, she would cry and say all sorts of things to me, and months later I've thought about them with a different mindset and want to see what you think. I remember as things got really bad, I kinda in a sense stopped caring about it. It wasn't that I didn't CARE, it was just I was sorta tired and kinda just let her do whatever, say whatever, etc. One of the things she said to me was, "Chris, you're not dominant anymore! The way we used to work, I would give you my opinion and feelings, and you would always listen and make what YOU felt was the best decision! I had a say because sometimes you'd go with what I wanted, and sometimes you knew you were right- I had a say, but you were the leader in it! You don't do that anymore, you just let me do whatever!" I'm dead serious she said that. I mean, that isn't word for word, but...anyway, do women really want it to be that way?

Answer 1

it's the fact that she sensed that you didn't care about the relationship. you would notice, you know, when the person you're dating lost interest in you.

Answer 2

Definitely not all women..............but she sounds like she was the kind of person that needed a man to be in charge, "take the reigns". It turned out that whatever you decided, happened to work out for her too. For me, I can honestly say that I'd rather make my own decisions, but discussing things with your partner to get their opinion is necessary and gives you a different point of view. It wasn't healthy for either of you for her to be so dependent on you to lead all the time. It's as if she didn't have her own mind.

Answer 3

You need to determine somewhat early in a relationship if that is a priority in your girl's life. Many women prefer that, but some do not. It is part of God's design for the man to lead and many men turn that down. Please understand that that does not call for harshness in leadership, but for servant-leadership. Jesus is viewed as the ultimate model of servant-leadership. Husbands are to aspire to that as well. Then the whole submission issue won't be such a hot button, because most women will be comfortable with how they are being treated.

Answer 4

Some want that. I like to give my husband the final authority on matters. If it goes well we are both happy. If it doesn't, then I don't have to feel bad about it. AND I really trust his judgment most of the time. But it takes a big burden of responsibility off me to let him make most of the decisions. (I could care less where we eat if I don't have to cook it!)

God created an order for things. Men being the head of the household is part of that order. It works for me

Answer 5

I think in this case if you had been the main decision maker in the relationship then you stopped, she will have seen that change in you and is using this as an example of how you have changed and how she can tell that things are no longer like they were.

It was her way of letting you know that she saw the relationship falling apart. To her your lack of interest in making decisions will translate to a lack of interest in her and anything else within the relationship.

Not all women like their partner to make all the decisions for them but there are certainly women out their like that. Women come in 'all shapes and sizes' physically and emotionally. We are all different with different needs and different desires.

I like to have a partner in my relationship, I like to discuss things together and reach conclusions together and go with the most workable sensible solution, sometimes its his, sometimes it mine but we get there together. If he was to say its up to you everytime, Id know that things were going wrong in our relationship and maybe also say something like you used to make decisions, but it wouldnt mean I wanted to be completely dominated by him at all times.

Karma.
x

Answer 6

Often times yah because when being raised seldom are we ever leaders and make choices. We like being able to give input and say feelilngs and opinions but we really don't wanna make all the decisions.

Answer 7

Personal authority is a very important quality to have when a man deals with a woman. Some dating / relationship experts harp on this continously. By failing to remain dominant in your relationship with your g / f, you, in a sense, gave her the upper hand. Most women would prefer that the man be dominant and make most of the final decisions.

Answer 8

No..I don't....I do like for my husband to give me his honest opinions on matters...and to let me know if he agrees or disagrees...and when we don't see eye to eye..then find out what our differences is .....than we can work from there.......I don't want to follow ,nor lead....just go side by side......

maybe your girlfriend trusted your judgment more than her own.....or maybe once you put your take on a matter she could see an issue from a different perspective and was able to make a more informed decision............

or she could be very insecure and clingy...which there is women like this..but not all......

Answer 9

women want men that they can change
men want women and hope they don't change

your women is giving you mixed messages.
you are damned if you do and damned if you don't

this sounds like a lose lose situation
dude run for the hills and it is going to be a bumpy ride for you!

Answer 10

yup...in my case i like having the opinion of my boyfriend before i do some things...i think that dialogue is very important in a relationship...you can't let someone you love do "whatever" ...she would feel like you don't care about her about what she does and all..