My wife earns 4 times more than me,i feel insecure?

Question

I am a bank employee and my wife is in the software field,naturally,she earns 4 times more than me and always in the glittering field of software,enjoying all the perks ,parties and glamour.But ,she loves me very much,but somehow,i am feeling insecure ,when i see her moving around in the high profile circles,i have tried using all all meditation tech,but nothing is working,can you help

Answer 1

At least you know she didn't marry you for your money. If she doesn't rub it in I wouldn't worry about it.

Answer 2

If she's not cheating now,she is so close to it it's not even funny. After the first affair you never held her accountable and she never took responsibility.blaming you for what she chose to do is not taking responsibility.By ignoring the affair you were never able to get to the core of the problem and there for you never made it clear to her the consequences should she do it again. You need to sit down with her explain why you are feeling the way you do and make it very clear what you plan to do should she cheat again.Example wise I can not and will not ignore you cheating. If I find out you are cheating I will expect you to move out of the home immediately. I will not support you financially and will take custody of the children until we we resolve custody matters before the courts etc. have a plan and stick to it. Set boundaries what it and is not acceptable behavior.

Answer 3

My husband and I are in the same situation.
I earn nearly two thousand more per month, than he does.
My husband has 'never' felt insecure with me because of our
wage difference, simply because he has 'never been jealous of it.
Your insecurity actually comes from a form of jealousy, and this is why you feel the way you do!.
Jealousy takes on 'many' forms, i,e; envy, lust, greed, even
resentment is a form of jealousy, and each and every one of
these traits are all causes for insecurity.
So ask yourself, 'why do I feel jealous?
The answer is really simple dear!
Men think 'and believe' that 'they' should make more money than their wives. It's been the mindset of most men for eons.
It's not that this is wrong in itself, afterall, men were expected to be the 'breadwinners' (providers for the family).
So what you must really look at is, working on your veiwpoint of
being somehow 'defamed' or 'degraded' simply because she makes more than you.
There are 'many' reasons why you should actually feel 'GOOD'
about it. #1 you'll never worry about not paying your bills.
#2 You don't have to worry working a second job to make ends meet. #3. you'll never be concerned that she's working her butt
off for a few measley dollars.
If you love each other, then nothing else should matter.
And try 'enjoying' the parties and functions with her, and be
'happy' for HER!!
After all, you married her for 'better' OR for worse!!
Now enjoy your lives together!!

Answer 4

Haven't i heard this b4. I know of a married couple who was in the same field, the husband started working first then the wife. He was comfortable in the position he was in until she worked her self up the ladder &got promoted above him-hes insercurity exploded,making her quit her job,giving him his pride back,but making him look like an a.a.s.s.hole. U r great because u have a powerfull women who still seeks love from u-think about that.

Answer 5

You may want to share your insecurities with her so that she can reassure you. It sounds as if that's what you need--for her to reassure you. When she does, if you're still feeling emasculated, then you should seek the help of a counselor or therapist. The problem lies with you and not with her success. If she had been wanting a husband who rakes in the dough, she would have married someone in her field.
She married you because she loves you. Don't screw up a good thing because of ego or pride.

Answer 6

Men have very high egos and that's the reason why you are feeling insecure with your wife having a larger income than you do. Men tend to stick to the traditional saying that "Men are the head of household and men are the ones who support the family." Try to open your mind and see that there's really nothing wrong with your set-up. We women will continue to love and support our men whether they have a higher/lower income than us. As long as your doing your job well and as long as you're helping you family financially, it's still support. If you don't want her to be above you, you can just look for a higher-paying job if you want to.

Answer 7

Be thankful she does. Put your banking knowledge to good use, and help multiply her money. The software field is not always stable, and something might happen to her income, and then what. If you use your knowledge and invest, you could use her money "wisely," and increase both of your incomes.

As for your insecurity, tell her in bed and I am pretty sure she will comfort you.

Answer 8

I can think of several friends that wives make more than them. No problem. Just do your job wll and move up the lader if you like. Do more than your share around the house but most of all give her plenty of attention and the love she wants. Show her you can make a decision when she ask (where do you want to go for diner?). Name a place don't say up to you every time.

Answer 9

Well, you can step the game up and move up the banking field to like an private banker with exclusive clients (think goldman sachs) or stop being so insecure and know that she loves you.

Answer 10

Clearly, you are a traditional kind of guy. I can assure you that you are the envy of many, many men. What are you actually worried about here? She'll leave you for another high-flyer? You need to totally let go of the "money thing". You both have enough to happily live on. Forget who has the biggest paycheck, spend time together and enjoy. She loves you, you love her. Its Enough.

Answer 11

Big deal, so your wife makes more money than you do. You need to relax and get over this. I could care less if my wife made more money in her job than me, and in fact when she's done with school, in her career field she's going into, she will make more than me. NO BIG DEAL!!! As long as you both are being supportive of each other it's not a big deal.

Your making a mountain out of a mole hill, and if you need to feel at peace about it, pray to God, ask him to forgive you of your sins and then ask him to give you peace, guidance and direction about this. Because if you pray, he listens.