The short version: my husband attacked me in October, I left with our child. I begged him for counseling / medical help. He gave me a lot of lip service but really didn't do anything, then claims the week before the divorce hearing (which is next week) that he's made all these appointments for help now. Although I don't pretend to know what the future holds, am not stopping divorce now because to be honest, I don't trust him and think this is just more talk. I spend all of my time with my 3 year old, and when she's at visitation (with supervisors) I clean the house, shop and work.
I've started getting a lot of pressure to start dating (am that girl that everyone thinks is too "good of a catch" to be at home on the weekend), and though I know I am NOT ready for that yet, was wondering what "you all" thought about the right time to start dating again?
Please don't give me the whole "when you are ready" -that I know - I mean hypothetical timelines.
2007-01-18 15:10:52 · 12 answers · asked by Wildflower 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The big thing you need to know is how you define dating. Face it, you need adult company. There is a compromise to be found here. I suggest maybe getting out for a coffee. Or maybe lunch. Casual enough to allow you to sidestep the "Dating" awkwardness.
Lunch is a good start. Not too much worry about the guy trying to chew the buttons off your blouse at 1:00 PM. And you can always fake an appointment if things get ugly.
Don't expect a timeline. You are too individual. I suggest telling your friends who are pressuring you to date to work on their own lives. Maybe they have good intentions for you, but you can always say "not right now dammit".
2007-01-18 15:21:03 · answer #1 · answered by lmcbuilder 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I personally think you should just wait until the divorce is final. It will make everything easier for you and the guy you decide to date. But, if you are legally separated and feel that it's the right time, go for it.
2016-03-29 04:08:33 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you feel that you are ready to be out there then go for it, a divorce is stressfull but may be you can get with friends and
start the ball rolling but just take it slow, you are still going though
a lot right now. but you will know when the time is right for you
to step out.
2007-01-18 15:17:24 · answer #3 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am a divorced single mom, so i know where you are coming from. i gave it a few months, like 3, to adjust myself to being divorced and living without a man in my life, devoting myself to my daughter and new career and decorating my new apartment. you have to get know yourself as a single person again before you try to let other men get to know you. learn how to be self-sufficient and figure out what you want out of life. enjoy the fact that you don't have to answer to a husband or boyfriend. you don't have to take a man's feelings into account when you make a decision anymore. it's liberating and enjoy it before you date again! also take into account how your daughter is dealing with divorce. will she be able to handle you being friendly with a man who is not her daddy? or will you hide it from her? think about your daughter's well-being before you start to introduce another man or men into her life. good luck!
2007-01-18 15:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should wait till after the divorce is final to start dating
that would seem like a good time, all the drama is done with and everything is taken care of and you have more time then to enjoy yourself
2007-01-18 15:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In your case, as soon as the ink drys on your divorce papers.
2007-01-18 15:20:37 · answer #6 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When do you start dating? When the papers are signed and in your hand.
If you date he will use everything in his power to use it to hurt you.
Get him legally out of your life first.
2007-01-18 15:15:10 · answer #7 · answered by autimom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can start dating now if you want. im going through a divorce and my paper work says that we agree to live separate and apart as if we were unmarried
2007-01-18 15:39:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
after the divorce is final
if you do it before he could claim you cheated on him
plus he sounds dangerous
2007-01-18 15:14:30 · answer #9 · answered by chimp_panzee47 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sure, why not? youre getting divorced.. if youre ready, jump back in....have fun!!! just be careful and dont give him anything to use against you in court!!
2007-01-18 15:42:09 · answer #10 · answered by sunshine 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋