Has anyone had a stillborn baby?

Question

I was orignally pregnant in February 2006 with triplets. I miscarried one baby when I was around 6-8 weeks. I carried twins then until they were born. However, I found out at my 30 week appointment that my son wasn't alive. I then had to carry my daughter (and my deceased son) for another 5 1/2 weeks. I delivered them both by c-section. My daughter was in the NICU for 20 days and is now 4 months old. We are still grieving the death of my son. Its been a bitter/sweet ordeal, having one survive though has helped. By that I mean, I've had to focus of keeping myself healthy to care for her. I also have a 5 year old son who will be 6 in a few months. He is still grieving as well and I feel awful seeing him upset about our little angel. I didn't want an autopsy. The doctor doesn't know what happened other than it probably had something to do with his cord. It was clotted when he was born, so we're not sure if that caused his death or happened afterwards.

I actually wasn't able to get pregnant. I had to go see a fertility doctor, hence the triplet thing....I am thankful for 2 beautiful and healthy children as I realize they are both miracles.

We did hold a service for my son. He was buried and we're awaiting his tombstone. I wrote him a letter as well as my husband and son. I thought that it would be nice to include inside his casket with him. We also put a charm in there with his name on it, a glass heart, and a hotwheel. I also included a picture of us. He was dressed in a bureavement gown and had a cross embroidered cloak layed across him. I cry all the time and miss him terribly! My 5 yr old wanted a brother badly and asks me all the time if I could give him another one. I tell him mommy's not ready yet, but maybe someday! I appreciate all the kind words!

Answer 1

I really don't know what to say. I'm sorry :(

Answer 2

My heart sure goes out to you, but be blessed that you have your daugther, and that she is ok. A friend of mine found out that her baby died inside the womb at 7 months and she had to carry the baby full term, it was hard because she only had 2 months to go and she was all ready for the baby. Its been over a year and she is still hurting, they have a 6 year old as well. I know it must be hard, but you do have a family that needs you and I think that maybe if you have a service, some sort of closure, it might help you. Think of him as your angel, someone watching over yous now. What she did with her son, was she sit with him and helped him write a letter to the angel, saying how much yous love him and miss him and just let him say goodbye to him. She said it was a great idea that someone had told her, and it helped her son a lot, as well as her. She knew she couldn't mail the letter but she said just writing it with her son was closure as well. What she did also was she found a picture of a angel, and she put the picture in frame and put it in his room and the little boy has the angel to watch over him while he sleeps, his angel sister. Just some ideas that I know others have used, might work for you. Good luck though, and I hope the best for you and your family.

Answer 3

Oh sweetheart, I am sorry for your loss. Death of a child...

Please adjust your talk and your expressions around your 5 year old. I am sorry, but he will be reflecting what YOU are showing. At 5 he does NOT know what the loss is about.
Being the mommy is THE TOUGHEST job, because we hold the responsibility of the happiness of our whole family. Even when we feel lousy , they look to us for comfort. You need to continue doing the awesome job that you have always done. The births, plus lack of sleep, the feeling that no one cares, and the feelings of everybody being "over it" except you... are ALL hard on our psyches. You will do fine hun, JUST trust and know that grief is normal. BUT CONTINUING ON WHILE IN GRIEF??? THAT IS A M A Z I N G SUPER HUMAN POWERS. Thats why WE are the women. We CAN and WILL do what is needed for our loved ones no matter what.
Take time for YOU, also take time to do the things with your 5 year old that you used to do before the babies~
Hubby needs you to feel better too~

Answer 4

this a very unfortunate situation i am a 14 yr old and my mom had a still born the what happened was my mom felt a jolt about two months til the baby was born she went to the doctor the next week and found out the baby had stoped breathing it was horrible she had to finish carring the baby for the next seven weeks every time she looked down at her stomach during those weeks she started to cry when my two other sisters found out they refused to go to school becuase in their words mommy needed their help mom wasn't so happy about them missing school but my aunt home schooled them it was better after the baby was born but my mom tried again and had a healthy baby girl nov. 30th its great but my mom still wanted that baby but now we're all fine

Answer 5

I so sorry for for your loss I too had a still born son back 2005 I can say that that your loss is still very fresh and be gentle with each other and take one day at time

Answer 6

That is so sad, My boss had a still born baby yet that was her first child and carried it to term, I think its important to keep talking about it and maybe stress to first time moms that they need to keep track of them baby movements. You are blessed to have your two children yet I can understand your family feels a great loss. Your son wanted a little brother? Its hard for them to understand death, he seems to be handling himself like a little man. I hope all looks brighter for your family real soon

Answer 7

Sorry for your losts. I am glad your daughter is doing good. I lost my daughters twin early in the pregnancy, I feel stress played a big role.
If may help if you name the babies and have a service said for them. Sometimes souls change their minds about being born, it is hard but you will find peace.

Answer 8

Even at delivery we are sinners because of the autumn of Adam and Eve interior the backyard. yet because an infant or a newborn is in basic terms too youthful to make an ethical experience determination convinced they bypass to heaven.

Answer 9

congrats on the birth of your daughter, but my condolence for your son. my cousin's baby boy died 6 months into the birth and she still had to give birth to him it wasn't a very good experience. be grate-full for the angels god has given you because i am struggling badly to have children at least you have two and one of each sex.

Answer 10

You should probably seek counseling for yourself, and possibly your husband and son. You've been through a terrible ordeal.

Answer 11

Im soooo sorry for your loss. Of course you will all grieve. Hold them in your heart forever. Please concentrate now on your family & being happy. God will take care of your babies.They will wait for you in heaven.