The start of my problems is from http://sg.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20070110233056AAaXnGb . Well I have decided to let her go and do what she wants. I will visit my son and have him with me whenever I would like. The thing is that I still feel so empty inside. The guy she is with is the typical guy who is going out with her and telling her he loves her cause she is the rebound from a relationship he had lost earlier before they meet. I already gave her all the warnings and so have all her other co-workers. I told her I would take her back but she still wants to be with him. So right now I am alone and in the dark as I would say. I don't want to find another person to fill that gap. But I need someone to hold and care for. What should I do? When he eventually does hurt her and they are finished... Should I take her back right away? She says she loves me but also says she loves him. I am very confused and unstable about what to do now.
2007-01-18 14:50:20 · 11 answers · asked by Chris M 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You should let her go even though she told u that she loves you and him. But main point is that, she chose him. Once you let go and move on with your life, you would feel so much better and can think more clearly. Right now you are suffering and thats bad, you just have to hold on. The thing you can do is to focus on your son and not her. And one last thing is that she cheated on you, people who cheats on their spouse always never love them if not it won't make to go out and actively look for some guy/girl to cheat with. The feeling you have now is that you miss being with someone and you missed being a family together but you are still a family with your son and you are not alone. Just move on and take life as it is and never take her back that will be all for the wrong reasons.
2007-01-22 14:08:55 · answer #1 · answered by A A 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you raise your standards and give yourself more credit than you deserve.... why should you take someone back after what she's done to you. look at what she is making you go through, look at yourself, and the pain you are going through...is that behavior from a person who really loves you?? don't take her back. of course, you feel hurt and lonely and it's only normal. 9 years is not a short time. but also time heals all wounds. so give yourself some time, surround yourself with friends, and family and you should be feeling better sooner than you think. u should find comfort in the fact that you were the best that you can be, and that if she gets hurt, its her problem, not yours. at the end of the day, you have nothing to regret, and it will be her who will have lost a good man in her life.
2007-01-18 23:13:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you've heard this advice before, but you shouldn't rely on someone else to make you happy. If you can't make yourself happy and enjoy your own company then you'll fall into bad relationship after bad relationship. It's ok to want to be in a relationship, but not good to NEED to be in one. You need to think that if you are going to be alone for a while, that's ok too. Don't take her back for fear that you won't find anyone else. Try to move on with your own life and you will eventually stop obsessing over her new relationship and what will happen with them. Fear causes us to make bad choices. Do your own thing for a while and do some soul searching. Good luck!
2007-01-18 22:59:55 · answer #3 · answered by MrsTee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it would be easier for you if you actually did let her go , but it sounds like she decided that you would let her go. i hope you are filing for joint custody for your son,not just liberal visitation rights. now-as for your heart-ache. if anyone had a cure for a broken heart, they would be rich. unfortunately there is no exact formula. everyone is different,and deal with it in different ways. i have had to deal with this myself, when my former husband left me for another woman.( i didnt know he was having an affair. after i found out, i was inconsolable,and sure i would never get over it. those were horrible times.) but of course ,i did survive. and im now better than before.what i, and other people that i know who have successfully overcome a broken heart did, was concentrate on self-improvement. some people lost weight, worked out, improved their appearance, took classes, whatever.it was hell,it was hard --and it worked 100% . the people , (including myself )who i witnessed going through the hell brought on by a mate, got through, over and around their hell, and built a new life by doing self-improvement. the best revenge is living well, my friend and if you really concentrate on doing this, you wont need to worry that you might do a very foolish thing, like waiting and hopeing that she blows it with this other guy, so you can take her back. because you will have a brand new mind-set that would never let you be foolish enough to do such a thing. you WILL be ok. it does pass- but help it go away faster by improving yourself. best wishes
2007-01-19 00:09:53 · answer #4 · answered by DEBI M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know this is gonna hurt buddy...but you gotta let her go. You gotta worry about your own happiness, because guess what? It's jsut you now. Let her make her own mistakes, don't let her drag you throught them with her. The ONLY obligation you have to her is your son. And thats it! If she gets hurt, then its her own damn fault, NOT yours.
You need to get yourself together and go dating again. I'm not sure how long it's been, but there is no reason for a man to be lonley. Don't wait for your ex..why in the world would you want to go back to something you KNOW won't work? It's like fixing a flat tire wiht tape...it may work for a little bit, but you know its gonna go flat again soon...
2007-01-18 22:59:17 · answer #5 · answered by Pandora 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seek counseling to deal with your loneliness and i sure hope you can heal and get past this and that with time you can move on with your life.... I wish you the best... Over time you need to start dating again someday... Right now sit back and take the time to heal and to try to start your life over again. Do not wait for her to come back... I feel that is a dead end street. Be there for your son and do fun things with him. I wish you the best:)
2007-01-18 22:56:14 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
seems you've decided and not letting her go.
there're only 2 things you can do . . . fight for her to come back . . . or simply let her go.
you've to decide and its all up to you . . . and of course her too.
you've to decide and make a firm one or you'll end up "floating" around and about . . . lost in eternity . . . and only you'll suffer and in silence!
seek professional help but ultimately, you've to decide and face it.
there's no point in salvaging a relationship or marriage for that matter if the heart has changed. it has and it'll again unless the originating problems are solved or settled.
as you said, move on and dont waste your time, "floating" around for aman's youth is equally important compared to a woman's.
2007-01-19 03:31:35 · answer #7 · answered by Peggy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please try to pull yourself together. Anyone can do anything they put their mind to. You have a son to care for. He will need you now, more than ever. HER interest is someplace else. Get HER out of your head. You're gonna stand by, and lick her wounds after this guy is finished with her? PLEASE DONT allow youself to be a doormat. Look out for YOU and your son. Make THAT your only goal! She's a big girl. Let her take care of whatever comes her way..........
2007-01-18 23:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel your pain, been there, you need to heal, God can heal you, all u have to do is ask Jesus to come into your heart, He will heal you, comfort you, love you, favour you, strenghten you, teach you, bless you....etc....God bless you
2007-01-18 23:00:48 · answer #9 · answered by Bert 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
GO OUT AND MOVE ON. HAVE A BLAST. LIFE GOES ON BABY!!!!!
2007-01-18 22:56:32 · answer #10 · answered by donnies_sugarbaby 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋