Do you think it is appropriate for my daughter to go on a ski trip?

Question

She wants to go with her boyfriend, and another family which includes a brother and sister. She has known the family for years and the girls will share a room and the boys another with the dad supervising. He is solid, but I am still nervous. She is 16. What do you think

Answer 1

as long as you know who is going and you trust them then it is ok. I am 17 and I will be going on a skiing trip In less than a month with my church youth group. skiing trips are lots of fun, but you as a parent should knowthe answers to the "who, what, and where" questions. my parents would never let me go if they do not know who else is going.

Answer 2

This is a hard call Bobrobert! It's such a personal decision that really only you can make.

IMO, I look at the fact that she is 16yrs old, and to me that's a reasonable age to start allowing her to exercise some mature responsibility and a good opportunity for both parent and daughter to exchange a vow of trust in one another. These are the type of situations and experiences that help a teenager learn responsibility, and I think it's an important step in guiding her in the right direction to become a responsible adult.

It is a supervised trip by the sounds of it, with parents attending, I reckon this decreases the chances of too much mischief going on! You always have that option of discussing your concerns with the parents prior to them leaving.

With the details you have provided, and if she were my daughter, I would take the opportunity to build the trust and allow her to go. I would let her know that you have placed your trust in her to do the right thing, and also tell her what you expect of her as a young adult. Also let her know how disapointed you will become if she lets you down, and that it would hurt you greatly if you were to lose your faith in her if she were to delibrately take advantage of your trust.

Good luck with the situation... I'm sure she will have a great time and be so appreciative of the opportunity you gave her.

Answer 3

I have to admit that at 16 I was never allowed to go out with my boyfriend anywhere unsupervised, but since you know the family and the dad will be supervising, it could be okay. The only problem I would have is whether or not you trust the father. I have definately met more than a few parents who would say they will be supervising and just don't.

I am guessing that your worst fear is that they are having sex and if they aren't, this will give them an opportunity to. I hate to break it to you, but if they really want to, they will one day or another.

I think that you should talk to your daughter about the birds and the bees, and make sure that she knows to be safe, responsible and careful.

Answer 4

Well it's good that the dad will put his foot down about the separate rooms thing. And I doubt that your concern is that she's too young to go away without her family. I'm betting it has to do with her going someplace overnight with the bf.

The real question is how do you feel about your daughter's maturity level? Can you trust her to keep her knickers on? If you have faith that your daughter will make the right decisions then it makes sense to let her go. And it wouldn't hurt to have a talk with her before she goes about how this trip represents your trust in her ability to make good decisions and if that trust is broken it will take a long time to earn it back.

And from what I remember about being a teenager, dads are more vigilant about maintaining the separation between boys and girls than moms. I think it's because dads remember what it's like to be a horny teenage boy and there's no way they're going to let that kind of stuff go on with girls that they consider family. It also helps if the dad has a rep for being scary, like my dad did. :)

Good luck in making your decision!

Answer 5

If your daughter and her boyfriend are going to fool around, they're not going to wait for a skiing trip.

I'd guess that the two biggest risks are the driving, and the teens showing off.

So, who's doing the driving? Talk to the parents, and make sure that it won't be the kids driving in winter conditions.

As for the showing off, I'd guess that your daughter's boyfriend is in for the biggest risk. He's the most likely to try to impress, and do some skiing which is beyond him, and break a leg. (Two teenage girls, neither of which he's related to? He's going to be very distracted.)

Your daughter is old enough for you to ask her what she's worried about. Help her with her concerns, and self-esteem, and I'm sure she'll be fine.

Answer 6

It's about how much trust you have in your daughter, and how comfortable you are with the idea of her going. Make a list of things on both sides of comfort and trust and decide how important those issues really are to you. If you can talk any fears or worries over with her, go for it, she might just surprise you about her level of maturity. Either way, it should help you get a feel for what she's thinking and where she's at, so you can find your decision easier to make (might make your fears seem like more of a reality, or more like the thoughts of a paranoid mother!!!) After you've done all that, you should find yourself leaning towards one side or another, so go with your instincts. Just make sure if the answer is no, you have legitimate reasons behind it.

Answer 7

Absolutely if you trust the parents that will be supervising.

If you're afraid of your daughter having sex, they can sneak that at home easier than they can sneak that on a family ski trip.

If you're worried about safety, then it's a question of trusting the supervising parents to be the safest drivers they can be.

She'll have a lot of fun and she'll remember your support subconsciously if not consciously.

Have a talk. Tell her what your worries are and tell her to have a great time!

Answer 8

If you too have known the family for years I would say yes.
If you don't know the family at all or not very well, I would say no.

In this situation I would not put much stock into the "if you trust her let her go" line. This is a weekend away with her boyfriend and other teens. Sometimes it is the other people we have to worry about.

Answer 9

Just have a talk with the parents to have a clear understanding that the kids will be chaperoned at all times. They should get the idea that you are concerned and I'm sure if you feel okay with them being responsible that it will be fine. It wouldn't hurt to have a little heart-to-heart talk with the boyfriend either. Oh, and make sure she check in with you each day by phone.

Answer 10

I don't think it would be that bad. She seems old enough.

But don't hold anyone here, including me, responsible for what happens.

Speak to the dad first and make sure he is even aware of this trip and is willing to take responsibility for what happens to your daughter.
Also, have your daughter take a waterproof cell phone with her and keep it with her at all times. Assure your daughter that she can always call you in a tight situation and you will be there for her.