How can I become fearless? Get people to respect me and how to stop caring what people say about me?

Question

I have a fear of saying what's really on my mind and how I'm feeling. I hold everything thing, but at the same time I have all the stuff I want to say going on in my head. I just can't let it out. Then people get away with what they say or do. I get so angry and don't know how to handle it. I'm afraid that if I do try to defend myself and try to get all big & bad with the person, I'll get a beat down & lose; while getting hurt while it's happening, lol (and I've never been in a fight before). Or what if I just snap from getting so mad that I just start yelling and streaming at work at the person who pissed me off and get in trouble with my boss (get written up or even fired). Yes, I am for real with all of this. Hope someone has a real answer for me. Thanks!

Answer 1

you never want to be fearless, fear is a good emotion, keeps you on your toes and reminds you that you arent dead. If yo happen to get into a donnybrook with someone you will evetually lose. you will get hurt BUT if thats the coarse thats needed you must take it. I always say (and I have been in more than my share of fights, won alot...lost alot) is that you may win and beat me but you will know that you were in a fight. and the have the heart that god gave you and go into battle. you need to get a better mind set. as for respect... Its earned and not by fighting...yay so you can beat sombody up.. that doesnt get you respect...people just either fear you, or be all respectfull to your face and talk shite behind you. you need to say whats on your mind and dont be afraid to speak it..

Answer 2

It sounds like you have extremely low self-confidence. I'd recommend venting your anger with something like kick-boxing or something that builds strength physically. It'll ease some of those insecurities about being beat up and exercise has been clinically proved to help mental strength and self-confidence.

Also, no one will respect someone who doesn't respect themselves. Remember that.

As for speaking, coming from someone who has never really been afraid to speak their mind, all I can say is just blurt it out. I'm sure there are people willing to listen to you. In order to gain respect and keep them listening to you, make sure you don't say anything offensive or obviously unwise or insulting. But tell the truth.

If you don't speak your opinions, people will assume you have none, and then things just kind of fall apart after that. So speak. Holding in emotions and words and ideas is unhealthy. But at the same time, it's good because you aren't obnoxious. Just be sure that you know when to draw the line on both sides.

Answer 3

I know exactly how you feel because I felt that way too. First off just realize it really doesn't matter what other people think! You hold all the power to change yourself (and this is a great thing) People buy self help books in hopes reading them will change themselves but all you have to do is change the way you're living. Get a sense of empowerment! You hold all the power when it comes to controlling yourself! I wish I knew about meditation at your age, its help me discover who I am inside before the interference/ influence of other people. Its a matter of knowing who you are and being secure with that.Theres no single 'right' way to be. We're all different people and this should be celebrated. Once you start that, all else follows. You don't need to please people or let them walk over you. Sadly people ALWAYS talk about others behind their backs, especially in high school (they have nothing else to do lol) But does it matter? **** No! =) Its more of a sign of an unfufilling life when people feel the need to gossip excessively. One last word of wisdom- Dating in high school sucks. Why date high school boys anyway? They are immature and often make some bad boyfriends. They get insecure quickly, try to be too dominant or possessive. Concentrate on yourself. No man wants to date an airhead who looks straight from an MTV commercial but cant hold decent conversation about something other than her hair styling routine. Guys like women who are independent and capable of doing things for themselves, who have real interests outside of tanning beds and acting like princesses. Guys make good friends, and if it seems to be developing further, go for it! Starting out as friends is a great way to date. So maybe you should look into meditation? Just try it twice and the worse that happens is you waste half an hour. Look into your school's library! there's no free time for reading like high school, and now the library has more intellectual advanced books too! Have fun with it!

Answer 4

You have to have confidence in what you do and who you are...eveyrone has issues, self doubt, etc, but if it is obvious to everyone then you will get run over and not get respect. You need to have a swagger, a level of physicality that says dont step on me, a clear confidence in your ability. But you dont fight, that is just insane, you make it look like you are not one to fight with before it gets to that point. You need to start respecting your feelings and not be afraid to share them in a calm, productive matter...

Answer 5

You should learn yoga and how to meditate and use affirmation statements. this will help you become fearless and also help you block the negative stuff people say to you. Always remember if you don't have anything good to say don't say a word. Also they are getting you ready for when you become an adult you can handle it.

Answer 6

What I do is ignore what people say about me and live my life as happily as I can. I say what I want to say because I don't let people hold me back. I'd do the same just forget what people say about you. Oh and watch Jet Li's Fearless, that movie's sweet.

Answer 7

If you are afraid of getting beat down and losing in a fight, you will always be scared. Stand up for yourself if it's getting that bad, and if they come at you, and you go down, go down swinging. Don't do it at work, though.

Answer 8

dude listen.... i had the same problem..except you cant be afraid to get beat down...that's you only problem!!!!
so what i did was i worked out a whole bunch... i mean i dedicated my life 2 it and now i can beat them all down[ if you do wok out, you have 2 believe in you self, or the effort is pointless]

Answer 9

The best way to do this is to pray and ask God to give you the strength and confidence to stick up for yourself and also to help you not to keep things inside for that is very unhealthy. I hope the best for you and i hope this helps.

Answer 10

REMEMBER ALL OF THE THINGS YOU'VE GONE THROUGH AND DRAW STRENGTH FROM THAT.....STAYING CALM AND STATING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY SCARES PEOPLE ALOT MORE THAN SCREAMING AND IF YOU CAN THREATEN SOMEONE WHILE SMILING AND STAYING CALM IS ALOT MORE EFFECTIVE, PLUS PEOPLE AROUND YOU DON'T TAKE NOTICE....NO WITNESSES, BEST WAY TO GO