I recently realized that I have never allowed myself to be single. I jump right into relationships. I ended my last relationship of 7 years to be with this man (no cheating was involved). We moved in together after a month and began talking of the future and marriage right away. A year and a half later, we were married. Now we have been married for a year and a half and I regret getting married. I have felt this way almost since the moment we said "I do", perhaps since we started planning the wedding. We are living separately right now; I have "left" twice after arguments but this time he volunteered to stay with a friend to give me some space. I feel that I have already made the decision to leave, but I just don't have the guts to do it.
He really is a great person, but I don't know if I am in love anymore. (Also, he has been married twice before me and is 11 years older. [27-38]) Should I take as much time as he will give me to continue thinking about it or just break it off now?
2007-01-18 14:09:37 · 12 answers · asked by aquarius 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
We have been to counseling - since before we got married, in fact. I tried so hard to do everything "right" that I didn't really think about what marriage really meant or whether or not I was ready for it!
2007-01-18 14:23:06 · update #1
you should take this time to think about what you really want in life.
Do not just run cause you are scared at the decision that you made.
Really think through this think about your future, Where you want to be, what you want to do with your life. think about the results of your choices to stay or leave or just take time and be alone.
2007-01-18 14:17:52 · answer #1 · answered by xxgq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I met my husband in May 1998 and we were married in August that same year, so I know what you are sort of going threw. I learned to love and accept him. we have been married for almost 9 years. Our relationship was rocky right from the beginning. Two sets of children from our first marriages. They hated each other. I am 7 yrs younger but our kids where about the same age. We had 5 years with the kids putting us threw hell and then they all left ( youngest is now 21) we learned to fight and when to make up. The biggest thing is that we wanted to make it work. And I guess this would go for any relationship. It is so easy to just call it quits but for what?? My first husband was a raging drunk that liked to hit me. His first wife was a gold digger that took him for all he had. We get along now but we have nothing in common at all. but we try and that is a start. Find out what you want and just do it. If the marriage is worth keeping then fight for it. See a councilor do what you can.
2007-01-18 14:22:34 · answer #2 · answered by courtqua 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do both of you a favor and end it now.You already know in your heart that you don't love him and don't want to be with him.You have clearly admitted that the marriage was a mistake from the beginning.You need to let this man go and you both need to move on.Staying together is not fair to either one of you.You said he is a great guy so why would you want to torture him and prolong the pain.Sit down and talk to him he deserves that much respect of you explaining why you feel this way.You don't have to part being ugly to eachother do it nicely and maybe you can remain friends.Good luck.
2007-01-18 14:22:29 · answer #3 · answered by Maureen B 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there is a lot more going on here than random people on the internet can help with.
You need to talk with a counselor of some type.
Call your primary health provider or health insurance and ask for a referral. Try and find someone who specializes in relationships. Perhaps once you begin you can entertain the thought of couples therapy and grow together through improved communication.
Good luck.
2007-01-18 14:17:16 · answer #4 · answered by CYP450 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's a nice guy, avoids beating on you, is honest, hard-working and occasionally leaves the toilet seat down you should probably just get some couples counselling before you do anything rash.
2007-01-18 14:21:12 · answer #5 · answered by grenter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to sit down and think hard about what will truly make you happy in life.
Don't just take off and suddenly decide you want to come back or jump into another relationship, that would be hurtful to both him and you
2007-01-18 14:15:05 · answer #6 · answered by gypse76 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl, if you regreted you should have known you were gonna regret it for a lot longer. If you regreted, and you still regret it maybe it's time to make a change. But first THINK. THINK before you do anything. What about your family, friends.. children if you have. THink about life without him, would it be good or bad.
it's your choice.
2007-01-18 14:15:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am about as blunt a person as you will ever get a response out of.............since you have left him twice and have no love for this guy, move on move out and and just plain move, you are not happy, you will continue to abuseyourself, and you need a break from being with someone
2007-01-18 14:22:34 · answer #8 · answered by phishsports 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
END IT..No questions asked and move on before you have children!. Read what you posted..Is this how you want to live the rest of your young life?
2007-01-18 14:20:44 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The determined dudes on Y/A are literally not sensible adequate to hit on you that way, they could say some thing sensible like "deliver me a photo of your boobies" or "Do you've an internet cam" i'm curious too why the call "hepmom"? type of like "octomom"?
2016-11-25 19:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋