How do I tell my college roommate I don't like him?

Question

We have been friends for 11 years and live in a dorm together. He is a slob and makes our room smell of S***. I want to end our friendship because we are too different. (Just so you don't think I am a terrible person, no one else that lives around us likes him either. They constantly tell me they feel sorry for me.)

I would never tell him that no else likes him. I am not that cruel. But since I have posted this question he has signed up to live with three of my other friends in an apartment next year, and they are worried that they will have the same problems I am currently having.

I have told people here on campus that I am having a problem, but since this is a private college, there are no spare rooms to put me in. I have already called his mom to see if they helps, she told me he is the same way at home.

Answer 1

I had the same experience when I was in the Air Force, I had to share a room with a real slob. His name sounded like "bold" and one day someone slipped a note under the door for him. "don't wait to be told-bold...use Palmolive gold" but that did not even get through to him. Bold would not bathe or change his clothes. He left his dirty clothes under the bunk and it stunk really bad. Bold's B.O. was so bad that I told our First Sergeant about him and when he called him to his desk the First Sergeant asked Bold why he did not bathe. Bold said it was because he was allergic to soap and water. The First Sergeant sent Bold to the base hospital where they reported back there was no medical reason Bold could not Bathe.
I had to finally get out of this room as you cannot embarrass some people to keep clean. These slobs are not going to take the hint and even if you confront them >>>they will not change for the better.
My suggestion is to make arrangements for another room mate ASAP...does it pay to fight? Just be glad you are not married to this person! Yuck

Answer 2

do not base your friendship over the fact that he is a SLOB. being friends for 11 years is a lot of history. So, before you end your friendship with him merely because he's a "slob" & that "no one else likes him", ask yourself first if he's done anything to hurt you? meaning, look for a real reason to end the friendship. Moving in together with a close friend makes you realize who they are inside & out. The true colors start coming out & it's all up to you to accept them or not. You should talk to him & let him know how you feel, maybe you both can come to an agreement that he will maintain your dorm by cleaning & not being filthy or dirty anymore. If he wants to keep you as a roommate, then he's gotta change. You need to let him know that, don't just hate on him because of the way he is, our bad habits do not really define us as a person. Bad habits can be changed & worked out. And these other people who don't like him, have you ever asked yourself if these people know him enough to say they don't like him? or are they just going by what they hear & the fact that he's a slob & makes your dorm room smell like S H I T ?

As a friend of his for the past 11 years, you should be able to open up to him & talk with him maturely about his way of living with the fact that it is bothering you in a big way. You shouldn't just leave the friendship because of this. It's not a good enough reason to. Now, if he did something like steal from you, lied to you or hurt you in anyway, then that is a reason to end friendship. The fact that you are too different is a benefit on your friendship. If you know you are the better person, then why don't you teach him how to be that way? be a real friend & help another friend become a better person. Don't gang up on him & let others talk about him because that right there becomes a reason for HIM to end his friendship with you.

GOOD LUCK!

Answer 3

So your question really is, how do you end a 11-year friendship?

My answer is, I don't know. I have never had an 11-year friendship...if I did, I would consider myself very blessed.

But here is a suggestion, which may or may not help: Consider why you have been friends for so long. I suspect you are, or at least were, very similar. Reflect on your similarities, and consider whether you might ever be able to find another friend like the one you have. Make the best decision, based not on feelings, but on facts. I wish you well.

God bless.

Answer 4

Then just break it off, I mean if he smells then he has a hygene problem. I had the same situation in my dorm. Best thing to do is move out of the room and ignore him. Or confront him that his room smells like he is a pig in his own stuff and move the f out. Friendships don't last forevor and are meant for change. I think you are being reasonable especially if you have to put up with his stinky azz

Answer 5

Most people aren't oblivious to others feelings. I'm sure he's gotten the hint you don't like him. Feelings like that are pretty transparent. Why do you even want to end a friendship with someone if you don't even like him?
If he's such a bad roomate why don't you try and do something about it?
Isn't their someone at the school, that helps students out, like a student life counselor? We have those and any problem big or small they help us work them out.

I don't think badly of you for not liking someone especially if you have to live with them and they've got bad habits and annoying personality. Just do something about it.

Answer 6

There has to be something more to it...You don't just end a friendship after 11 years because someone is messy. Oh who the hell am I kidding, you never know a person til you live with them. All you can do is just sit him down and say " Hey punk a** you suck. I don't like you and I can't handle living with you." Just do it a little more diplomatic than I did...good luck!

Answer 7

Well, are you stuck in this dorm room together for the rest of the year? If so you've got to talk to him about cleaning up his act, friendship or no friendship. He is disrespecting you by trashing your mutual space so don't be hard on yourself. It sounds like he doesn't value the friendship so he's ended it, not you.

Answer 8

i would not rush. till you're attempting to hold adult males returned on your room and choose 'area,' bypass away it on my own for now and attempt to verify how he feels approximately gay human beings in the previous you tell him. Who is acquainted with, some gay concern might arise faster or later that provide you an 'in.' One individual you ought to tell is somebody on the resident team, so they are able to allow you be attentive to in the event that they have some way of formally coping with those subject concerns. they ought to. Or in the experience that your college has an LGBT centers workplace, consult with them (maximum vast colleges do those days).

Answer 9

The best way to approach your friend is with tact and consideration. Sit down and have a talk with him, and tell him that you find it hard living with him because of his lack of organisation or responsibility. Offer to help him through this problem by giving him suggestions, such as how to take better care of himself, or perhaps bringing in outside help..

Answer 10

See if there is a way to talk to him about it. If change is impossible you will probably have to move to a different room or something. Best not to make it a big deal and be mean to him about it if he was your friend for that long, maybe.