why is it that everytime i go out and i have family along with me like my sister and her husband that it's like i'm "lets say gun powder and my sister always bring the fuse along and lights it" what most get's me is my sister's opinion of who i should be and she always says my stanard's are to high about what kind of girl i'm looking for i feel as though my standard is not to high should i just stop going anywhere with them because i'm not like that when i'm not with them and yes there is booze being drank most of the time when we have these fights also at the same time i feel i need to find the right girl to please her because well what if i had married her and had kids what should i do i don't want my sister to hate who i took up with
2007-01-18 13:38:00 · 8 answers · asked by the man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Maybe someone needs to tell your sister to mind her own buisness. I'm sure she has your best interest at heart but she needs to realize that you are going to be with this girl not her. Maybe you should decline the next time she wants to go out and the next and she will ask you why and then you tell her the truth. that you love her and don't want to fight with her that she has made her decisions and needs to let you make yours without shooting her mouth off all the time. and when she thinks that she can handle this you will consider going out again.
2007-01-18 13:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by *queenfairy1*Antioch California 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, your sister is not being sensitive about your feelings and choices on what type of girl you really want. I would say to just ignore what your sister says. That's who she is. She may seem too criticizing of your choices, but those are her opinions. You don't need to listen to her, make your own choices.
If each time you are with them, and booze is involved with your arguements, then you should not go with them at all. I would never do that to my brother, in fact, I would support him no matter who he chooses. You are the one who is going to date the girl, not your sister! (smile) You don't need to please anyone but yourself. Just make the right choices and you will do fine.
If your sister is hard to please, then I do feel sorry for her husband. Do what is right for you, you are an adult, so don't worry about who says what. That is their problem, not yours. If for some reason your sister and her husband notice why you aren't hanging around with them, then just say politely to them that you would rather not be with them because when-ever you guys get together, arguements happen. Just tell them you are tired of hearing what they have to say about your own choices. Tell them you would rather have them support you, than criticize you.
Let them know how you feel, is basically what I am trying to say to you. If in the future you happen to marry a woman and your sister doesn't find to like her, that is your sister's problem once again, not yours. Remember, the only thing that counts is that you love this woman. She is yours and no one else. You will live with her for the rest of your life. You will be married to this woman, not your sister. So don't worry what anyone tells you, you have the right to make your own choices, and don't let anyone get in the middle for you doing something right for you, only.
2007-01-18 21:58:42 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
#1 Don't drink much around them. It makes it harder to deal with problems that do arise.
#2 Tell your sister you will marry the woman who makes you happy and she has to accept it. Do this before an argument breaks out somewhere public. Talk to her and let her know you respect her opinion but you have to do what is right for you.
#3 Don't be too hard on yourself about it. Family can make you crazy about the most stupid things. Believe me I know!
#4 Tell you family that if you are out and an argument breaks out, you are gone. You don't want to fight with them but won't let them dictate your life either, so the best thing to do is leave and let things settle down and talk to them about it later when everyone is sober and calm.
2007-01-18 21:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by kiera70 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one it's not up to your sister who you should or shouldn't date. Being picking or setting your standards to high helps you find the one you want to spend the rest of your life with. Just tell your that she is not gonna marry who you find that you are. Also ask her did she marr who she wanted and if you your sister loves you then she will accept whomever you pick. Cause when you love someone you gotta like the one there with.
2007-01-18 21:45:04 · answer #4 · answered by Turkey 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find friends other than your sister. Your future wife does not have to be friends with your sister. It would help family situation, but it is not the first thing to look for in a future wife.
2007-01-18 21:41:48 · answer #5 · answered by nancymomkids 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister is not your Mother and does not run your life. It's YOUR life and it's YOUR business on who you date, no one else's! If she doesn't approve of the girls you date then thats her problem. Hang tough and let her know, YOU are dating them, not HER!! Good Luck
2007-01-18 21:43:08 · answer #6 · answered by Lace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As an adult you get to enjoy (or suffer) the consequences of your decisions.
You only have to please and answer to yourself.
2007-01-18 21:45:07 · answer #7 · answered by bbikin 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your an adult, you can decide what you do and whom you do it with
2007-01-18 21:44:50 · answer #8 · answered by hazzy 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋