Women only please. Adult Questions?

Question

I've been married for 10 years and I'm very happy with my husband. But sexually, there are a couple issues. I have a very difficult time coming, I'm not able to come with penetration, only a lot of clitoral stimulation. Does this seem normal?

Oral sex - He wants it all the time, but I'm not really into giving it to him. What should I do? How should I approach this issue?

Thank you for the advice.

Added detail - He doesn't mind giving me oral sex, just the opposite, he loves it. Even though he loves to do it, I'm not able to come from receiving oral sex.

Answer 1

Women are the wrong ones to ask on this.

Well, could be a couple of things, I wish I could get a few more questions and and answers from you.

One is blood flow, if you have poor circulation, you will have a hard time having orgasm. The blood vessels cant dilate as fully, and can't make you as sensitive to orgasm. A healthy diet/exercise/vitamin regimen could help you overcome if this is the case.

Another is you might be a squirter. I don't mean to sound crass, but some women emit a lot of fluid when they ***, squirting is what it's commonly referred to. It's natural, it's a big turn on for your man to see it, I promise, it is NOT pee, look it up online for more info. Anyway, if you feel the urge to pee more and more during sex, the closer you get to orgasm, you then just need to relax and let it go. If this is the case, then you've been holding yourself back for years from having an orgasm.

Do you know where your g-spot is? If you don't, he certainly doesn't. Find out where it is, show him, and see what happens....

Another reason is your g-spot isn't getting stimulated. This could be because of your husbands size or shape, he just might not be hitting the spot. Different positions can help, but sometimes it just doesn't matter. I'm more than adequately endowed, and my gf's g spot is at a place I just couldn't reach....
There is an extension that you can put on that is amazingly comfortable to give him extra length and girth to help push her over the edge. I just had to *** to terms that she needed double digit endowment to get her off. It made me a little insecure, but I did what no one else had done, and made her *** through intercourse.

Oh, and lastly, no matter what issue you might be having, one you have certainly developed in the last ten years is a psychological block. With every one of these changes that you try, don't just keep an open mind, you have to really believe that it will work, some positive thinking will go a long way here.
If you tell yourself everytime you have intercourse "I hope this works, it never has before" it won't...Positive thinking is a MUST in this case.

As far as the oral sex goes, if you HATE doing it and it makes you sick, then don't do it. If you just don't love doing it, then suck it up sister, no pun intended.....
You can do a couple of things here, one, you can use it to get you better sex...suck it half the time, talk dirty the other half....rev him up....tell him while you're doing it how much you love sucking his cock, how you can't wait for him to put it in you, etc....Nothing makes me want intercourse more than a woman saying she loves giving me oral.
Nothing deflates my ego (no pun intended) like a woman who complains or is far from eager to please, I sure wanna do a lot less for that type of woman than one who is generous.

My girl and I can be a bit selfish on things outside of the bedroom, massages, movie rentals, etc...so we just barter....She'l watch a Van Damme movie with me if I do dishes, etc., maybe you can make him do something in order for oral sex....could excuse to make him be romantic...reward flowers candy and nice dinners with a *******, then he'll think he has to do something nice for a BJ.

Work it out, make him feel good.....We don't like giving oral to a woman because it tastes and smells like a bag of popcorn, we do it because you enjoy it.

Answer 2

Its completely normal. I use to be the same way. What I did. Was bring in a vibrator into sex. Put that on your clit, while you're having sex. Then you can have a orgasm. And that one is Amazing.

Sometimes women can't have a orgasm from penatration. It feels completely different from a clitoral orgasm. You may be having one and not know it.

As for oral.... You should try maybe giving it to him for maybe a couple minutes here and there. Cause I found the biggest reason women don't like to give oral is because we're down there too long, and well thats just no fun, when our jaw is killing and lips going numb.
But try just doing it for a few minutes and coming back up... then go back down. Try not to think of it like "You should, or feel like you have to" .

Hope this helps :o)

Answer 3

a lot of women have trouble reaching orgasam; though my lesbian freinds tell me this is becasue of men being inept i'm not so sure. if you know what you like your way ahead of the game. there are some positions that have clitoral stimulation or allow you to reach it with fingers

Oral sex - only give as much as you get. suggest 69, i'm told that i'm much better at oral if i'm being entertained as well.

your husband will have gotten into bad habits over the years.
he will feel rejected by knowing this has been happening a long time. Explain to him that your body has changed and tell him what you like. If you can arrange for a few days couple time without interuptions then have a second honeymoon, and try to get him the karma sutra if he'll treat it as a new game and not an insult

Answer 4

I think it's been proven that most women need clitoral stimulation to reach an orgasm. I think it's like 75% or so. As for the oral sex - tell him that if he wants it then he's going to have to give you some oral sex too. That's the only thing I can think of. Or if it's the odor that's bothering you, tell him to wash it beforehand. Be honest with him, after all he is your husband! Good luck!!

Answer 5

Talk to him about you not being comfortable with oral sex. Many men are understanding and won't make you do it.

As for the problem with not being able to come via penetration; only clitoral stimulation: That is normal and most women cannot orgasm from penetration. I can't.
You can bring a vibrator or use your finger to stimulate yourself while he is penetrating you so that you'll orgasm that way.

Answer 6

I've been married for 15 yrs. but we've been together for 20 yrs., I'm like you in the aspect that only heavy clitoral stimulation does it for me too..even being 'creative' I have to have satisfaction by clitoral stimulation. I do not enjoy giving oral sex and thankfully I have an understanding hubby.. on occasion I will do it for him, here's my 'secret': I sorta disassociate myself from what I'm doing, I think of a favorite movie and 'watch' it in my mind or think of just basically anything but what I'm doing....he doesn't know and he is pleasured ...I talked to my dr. about only being satisfied with clitoral stimulation and guess what?? We are not alone!! Hundreds of thousands of women have this 'problem'...I don't think it's a problem at all...just enjoy it and be thankful your hubby is a giving man. Hope this helps!
Spiret2

Answer 7

recently Ive done a project on sex and discovered that almost no female(s) can achieve and orgasm just by penetration, it is very normal. as for the oral sex, tell him that you don't like it, and maybe work it out like maybe once every week or something, since you are married you shouldn't be keeping stuff from him, especially since hes making you do something you don't want to. good luck =)

Answer 8

its normal . because women have only one way to satisfaction which is clitoral. and when u repeat that for long time you get use to it and make you feel better , i tell you something many women do not know how to stimulate and satisfied , its really good you find you're way don't worry

Answer 9

Without further information it is difficult to say. If you are in a warm environment since it is getting close to summer it may be a smell due to not wearing cotton panties that allow air to circulate. Also the smell might be an indication of an infection, she may not have washed that area, or may be the result of eating certain types of food. Finally it could be the result of being aroused. Usually if it is due to arousal I find it to be a mood enhancer not a mood killer. Without more information it is difficult to be certain what it could be but my guess would be improper hygiene.

Answer 10

You both need to sit down and discuss some fantasy issues and do what it takes to make it happen, as long as it's legal and consensual. My husband and I were the same way in the beginning, once I let him know what I needed to be pleased and how I needed it to be done it was on and poppin!