My husband has gained about 100 pounds over a five year period.(He says it is my fault) We are rarely intimate. Is this normal? It is affecting our relationship. He always blames me for not wanting to have sex. What can I do?
2007-01-18 13:24:41 · 11 answers · asked by chemky1 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Tell him it's hard to be sexually attracted to someone who isn't sexually attractive. Sounds harsh, but what the hell? It's not your fault he's being unhealthy.
2007-01-18 13:28:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
Weight gain does not and has not affected my attraction to my husband at all. I, too, have gained weight over the years of us beign together and he tells me all the time that he is just as attracted to me as the day he met me. Naturally fat isn't the most attractive thing to look at on a human body, however, when you love someone, you love them for EVERYTHING about the, more their inside than their outside. What will you feel once your husband is old, wrinkled and gray? Isn't that what marriage is all about? Remember, age takes it toll on everyone and everything about their body. Society is way too obsessed and focused on the outer appearance these days. Granted, we all should be healthier, but I am sure that your husband isn't thrilled with his weight gain, but still needs to feel that you love him no matter what. You may be making his self esteem become very low just by him knowing how you feel towards his weight and by avoiding sex with him. I know if my husband felt this way about me, it would crush me. Put yourself in HIS shoes.
2007-01-18 14:11:22 · answer #2 · answered by jims_prettyeyes 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you love someone then you love them for who they are not what they look like. If your husbands weight is that much of a problem here are some solutions:
1) If you do the cooking.. cook healthier meals for both of you
2) GET ACTIVE !
3) go on evening walks, not only will this be good exercise but this will give you time to talk to one another and maybe bring you closer to one another again.
Good Luck on your situation but remember why you married one another, focus on that and look past the physical.
2007-01-18 13:56:05 · answer #3 · answered by jenny 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
WELL I AM IN YOUR HUSBAND SHOES GAIN A BOUT 100 LBS FROM HAVE 3 KIDS IN 4YRS BUT MY HUSBAND NEVER SHUT ME OUT OR STOPED LOVING ME I WOUDL TRY SO HARD TO TOLOOSE THE WIEGHT I EVEN WENT TO A DIETE CLINIC TOOK PI;LS AND SHOT AND HAD A STROKE FROM THEM AND MY HUSBAND TOLD ME HE LOVE D ME SO MUCH THAT IF HE CAUGHT ME BACK ON ANY MORE PILLS HE WOULD BE UPSET AND TOLD ME HE LOVE ME NO MATTER WHAT THAT HE MARRIED ME FOR ME NOT THE SIZE 10 I WAS WEARING NOW ITS BEEN A FEW YRS AND ITS TAKEN ME 8YRS TO GET IT OFF BUT HE NEVER STOPPED LOVING ME AND IF I TOOK FOFF FROM EATING GOOOD OR ATE A CANDY BAR HE NEVER SAID ANYTHING UGLY I FILL THAT I AM BLESSED CAUSE I HAVE FRIEND S WHO HUSBAND TELLTHEM THEY CANT HAVE A LOVE LIFE WITH A FAT CHICK BUT I GOT NEW FOR THEM THIS FLUFFY BUFFY HAS ALWAYS HAD A GREAT SEX LIFE CAUSE IT WAS BASED ON TRUE LOVE
2007-01-18 17:27:40 · answer #4 · answered by Msdeb gee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not gonna comment on that, but my husband got hurt and can no longer work or do hardly any activities. He has gained weight and I feel the same towards him as always. .
2007-01-18 13:42:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
No this should not make a difference in that department at all.... How is this your fault???? You need to seek counseling and help for your marriage and your husband needs help too!
http://www.marriagetoday.org
http://www.drphil.com
2007-01-18 13:35:27 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Hewitt 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
start going for walks together and get him moving!! you should try to cook healthier food and watch those late night snacks.. And make him do all the sex work, it burn more calories also. Good Luck
2007-01-18 13:34:55 · answer #7 · answered by Bonduesa 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
ABOLUTELY NOT! My desire to have sex with my husband stems from the love that I have for him... his outward appearance has almost no effect on that. would you want him to stop loving you if your appearance changed?
2007-01-18 13:35:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
Tell him to lose it
2007-01-18 13:29:53 · answer #9 · answered by zen522 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
So... you plump him up so other girls won't like him and then dump him... That's nice. That type of thing will make a weaker man turn homo.
2007-01-18 13:29:47 · answer #10 · answered by M CEE 2 · 0⤊ 5⤋