i guess i didn't make myself clear on my last question.. i have to go to court next month for my ex whom my boyfriend and i have a restraining order against. i never officially called it off with him, but rather through the cops and the restraining order. he is violent, abusive, and i am frankly terrified. he has broken the order many times through showing up and voice mails(which the police and prosecuter have), and each time he has we have it recorded through the police. i am very worried about seeing him in court and even more worried about retaliation after the fact through him and through other parties. he knows where i live, where my boyfriend lives and works, and doesn't really give a rats ***.. how do i live a normal life with this demon in my past, which will carry onto my future?
2007-01-18 12:34:38 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
call cops..file report be agreessive and confident
2007-01-18 12:37:52 · answer #1 · answered by Romeo C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry...this is awful for you. Living in fear is not something any of us want. First, make sure you have solid locks on all your doors and windows. Make sure your bf does too. It will be scary to see him in court, but it needs to be done to get through this. Try to put on a brave face and, if it helps you, don't make eye contact with him. Make sure the judge and attorneys know your concerns about retaliation...if the judge could give him a bit of a talking to, maybe he'd hear that and leave you alone. Smart to always keep voice mails and records of times he has broken the order. be sure to bring that out in the courtroom. If you are able, you may want to consider moving. If you live in an apt, make sure your neighbors know about him and that he is not to come into the building...show them his picture. If in a house, talk to your neighbors about it and also show them a picture. Utilize any support networks you have...community, church, friends, etc...whoever you use as support. Get yourself a mace spray or some other kind of defense. think about taking some kind of self defense classes so that you feel able to protect yourself, and finally...take it slow with men and if you see ANY signs of abuse, leave.
2007-01-18 20:46:28 · answer #2 · answered by prekinpdx 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A number of posters have suggested a firearm. I too would go that route. It sounds like you have a real scumbag as an ex-boyfriend. Check out your local firing range and take a handgun class. Also, many states will forego the normal class requirements and background checks for a concealed carry permit, if your life is threatened. Talk to your local police. Police do a great job, but don't ever depend on them to save your life, that's your job. Meanwhile, don't go anywhere without mace.
Sorry to sound so pessimistic, but there are some dangerous people out there. Always be prepared.
2007-01-18 20:47:55 · answer #3 · answered by cornholingmidgets2 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately the truth is that a restraining order means nothing if the person doesn't care what happens if they break it. The sad truth is that the police can't/won't do anything until he commits a real crime, which could mean serious trouble for you and your boyfriend. If you want to stay safe, you should probably move, maybe even out of state.
2007-01-18 20:45:45 · answer #4 · answered by O-baa-ma 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Mediate and settle. The best solution is to get a third party to meet the person and explain to him that all is over between you and him. Going to the cops at the outset has upset him no end and it is now his ego at stake. It's not too late. Go through your age group, friends of his; then go to elders to speak to his parents; then through the church/religious head; only after do you go to the law. You went to the law right at the start and this has hurt him, it appears. Now solve the dilemma.
2007-01-18 20:41:50 · answer #5 · answered by Kool-kat 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Girlfriend i went through the same thing about 7 yrs ago and still get letters from this man although i never send any back he continues to persue me and im getting married in febuary all we can do is keep moving forward and not looking back!
2007-01-18 20:47:48 · answer #6 · answered by caviler2 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need to dump you boyfriend the one that do sen,t care for your safety the one you said that doesn,t give a rats a8s, i beat he would once you tell him it,s over with him and you you need a guy that dose care and will try to protect you by you evil x boyfriend i remeber being scard of a bully i tolk to court i didn,t look at him that,s the best way to do it. untill the juge tells you how the guy is . then point him out and start back not looking at him.
2007-01-18 20:48:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
have you and your boyfriend considered relocating to another area ? Maybe a few states away......the old adage "out of sight out of mind" might help........
you might want to buy a gun and apply for a permit....I figure there will be people opposed to this suggestion...but I had a friend killed by her boyfriend......and maybe a gun would have not made any difference...but than again ..maybe she would be with her daughter now and not six feet under...........
I feel badly for you...stay safe...
2007-01-18 20:54:12 · answer #8 · answered by LeftField360 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well he will go to jail if he breaks the order, you can also get a gun, you have documentaion , so you shoudl be cleared, and also did you know he was violent or had a bad temper when you started dating, sometimes you have to deal with a situation you create
2007-01-18 20:39:56 · answer #9 · answered by sevenout7 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The answer to your problem has two names.
Smith&Wesson .357
Make sure the light in your house are off, leave the door open and just wait, as soon as he comes in the door BLAM! two in the chest!
No more trouble sleeping at night.
2007-01-18 20:39:52 · answer #10 · answered by knujefp 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋