lost my daughter lost myself dont know how to go on no time for grieving she left a child behind?

Question

she is a joy and a sorrow as she looks just like her mom. situation very complicated no show father and grandfather from hell custody battle from moment of my daughters death no peace or time to grieve the world has moved on and i am stuck i dont know how to stop waiting for her to come home sitting on the sitting on the front porch waiting for her to drive up , Babies father never comes to see her never shows to court living in limbo waiting for judge to give me permanent custody . sometimes i hurt so bad iam not sure if ican go on

Answer 1

So sorry to hear of your loss, you have to go on for your grand child, just think of your grand child and how much she needs you.

Answer 2

You can go on.
The pain and hurt of your loss will continue but you will learn to deal with it.
The emptiness you feel inside will, to some extent be filled by the granddaughter you now care for.
She will not replace your lost daughter but she will become a light in your life.
Keep fighting.
Remember the good times you had with your daughter and remember your love for her. These things will never die.
The battle and the fighting need to be done and the result be a just reward for the effort.
You can put off the grieving until after the fighting is done but when that time comes, be prepared, it will hit you VERY hard.
No time to grieve is sometimes a very good thing as you are not ready to face the grieving yet.
Persevere and the light will eventually shine through for you.
Good luck.
My thoughts are with you wherever you are.

Answer 3

I wish I could say I can sympathize with you, but the closes I ever got to that was when I suffered from depression, which sounds like you may have it also sounds like you love that little girl very much. What helped me through my depression, and may help you get through the day, is always the children. Live the day if not for you for them. I know it may seem hard, but get out of the home and go for a walk, make her laugh, play stupid little game with her, and when she goes to bed make sure you have time for yourself to start the grieving process. In time the heart will heal and so will the hollowness inside. Let the little girl work her magic and bring you joy that you so much deserve.
P.S. I am so sorry to hear about your loss and I wish I could do more for you.

Answer 4

I am VERY sorry for your loss.I do not have children so I cannot even begin to know how you feel.I lost 2 dear friends in the last two years.One of them took his own life.I have been second guessing myself now for 2 years over what I could have done different to prevent it.He left behind two kids.A son who turns 16 in a few days and a daughter who is 19 and has gone off the deep end.I have become friends with his ex wife and her new husband.I knew him for 10 years and watched his kids grow up.I have been a friend to his son the last two years and I think I have helped.I think the best thing I can do is to be there as much as i can for him.You need to be strong for your granddaughter and be there for her.I will not pretend to know your pain but mine was and still is tough to deal with.It will never go away but time will help you deal with it better.At the same time you are helping your granddaughter she will be helping you.You can go on.You must go on.I still cry once in a while about my buddy(it was the anniversary of his death last wednesday) but it does get easier with time.I know this is probably of little comfort to you but it sounds like you have a very good reason to go on.And go on you must,for your daughter and hers.GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS!!

Answer 5

There is so much loving concern being expressed to you here, and I want to add my support to you, and to acknowledge all the wonderful suggestions that precede my note.

I believe the key to your recovery is that baby girl. And I agree that you must allow yourself to grieve. The 15-minute idea sounds very applicable to you in your situation. If you can't do 15, then do 10 minutes. I wonder if reading the story of Coretta Scott King's experience recovering from the loss of her husband may help you. She was one of the strongest women this world has ever seen.

Can you keep a journal? Not only will it help you, I believe, but it may also help you in your custody battle.

Finally, I have battled depression and suicidal thoughts, and learned this. Many people advised me to take it "one day at a time," but this was far too overwhelming to me, so I broke it down to "one minute at a time," and sometimes, all I could manage was "One Breath In, One Breath Out." That mantra carried me through many days. Thoughts of how my son did not deserve to lose his mother to suicide got me through the nights.

I hope with all my heart that something that has been said here will ring true for you. We wish you and your granddaughter happy, loving days.

Answer 6

I would say the hell with everybody else and worry about the child. You shouldn't be greiving about your daughter's death. You should actually be celebrating her life instead. If you show all the greiving and pain and all those bad feelings, then it will pretty much destroy the child. You need to think of how the child would feel if you "didn't go on". She would pretty much have nobody left in the world who loves and cares and treats her good
like you do. So please think about the child and how she would feel before you do anything rashional!! Best of Luck!!

Answer 7

I am sorry about your daughter but my grief and your pain is not gone bring her back. Just think that you daugther is in a better place and even though you miss her you have to move on with life but dont forget her. You will see her again. Love her child you still have a part of her make the best of it.

Answer 8

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Answer 9

well first of all i want to say i know what your going through in a way.... i lost a child ..so i am not going to sit here and say just anything cause knowing from experience as nice as it all may sound it doesnt always help.... just that your not alone!!!!! i feel your pain and its a pain that CAN'T be explained..... something i wouldn't wish on my worst enemy ........ but i can say this my son passed away 9 years ago and at first i couldnt greive i had other children to take care of ............ big mistake cause it came back to bite me BIGTIME!!!!!!!! grieve now and dont be afraid to ... your daughter is in heaven and as long as you continue to have faith .... evrything thing will fall in to place ....she wouldn't have it any other way!!!!!!!

GOD BLESS YOU AND THAT CHILD

Answer 10

Yes you will because a defenceless child is at risk, she as well has lost her mother, and no show dad. and now is going to have to count on you to be there for her, I am sure your daughter would have you going on a picnic with her daughter, then spending the afternoon crying because she isn't there, It was not her idea to die so do not blame her, you raised her as best as you could so now do the same for her daughter

Answer 11

You wake up and breathe. Give yourself 15 minutes to cry every day, then breathe again and move on. You're need to release your grief, but you don't want to get lost in it. Look at that child and thank God for her. You will make it through this. Look in the paper for support groups. Seek therapy. The two of you will make it through this. I will pray for you.