I didn't know that this guy I have been seeing is married until 3 weeks ago. Is it wrong I continue to see him

Question

Him and I have been dating since October of 2006. We have had such a wonderful relationship, and when I found this out I was angry, upset, hurt and concerned. Mainly because he lied to me about the whole situation. I had asked him when we first met whether or not he was married. He told me that he was divorced. I am not sure what to do...I have strong feelings for him and we enjoy each others company. Please help me with how I should go about the "issue."
I posted this question already...but I somehow forgot to mention that he is in the process of being divorced. Which makes the whole situation confusing to me.

Answer 1

First of all he lied to you, and second of all he is married
still even though he says he is getting a divorce: Since
the situation is confusing to you you need to have your
space to think the situation over without him in the picture.
You deserve better and a better person: Tell him the way
you feel and put the relationship on hold and let him know
how hurt you were for the fact that he lied and deceived
you: Go on with your life without him and tell him once
he gets his divorce and proves it to you then maybe and
only then you can disguss your future relationship with
him. Give it time but remember he lied and deceived you
once on an important issue and you need to seriously
think do you want to continue with this man even if he
does get divorced: Be strong, continue living your life but
do it to where you are happy and not trying to make
someone else happy all the time. Good luck.

Answer 2

Do yourself a favor, tell him till the divorce is final and he is free you need to back off. My husband for 5 years pursued other women telling them that we were separating, divorcing, living together or breaking up. He finally got involved with a woman that thought she would help him get rid of me. I didn't have any idea what was going on. We never had any intention of divorcing or splitting up till I spoke to this woman. I hired a private eye and found other women that he was meeting with. He told some women that I was a live in girlfriend and we were having issues and I was moving out. All of it was a lie at the time. Be very careful. If a man is going to lie to you, he is lying to others, including his spouse. Protect yourself!

If you are not allowed to call him at home, or see him when you want, chances are he is hiding something. I wish you the best and hope that everything works out well between the two of you.

Answer 3

Well, being "in the process of being divorced" leaves a lot of grey area! You need to find out how long into the "process" he is. You need to be stern and strong with this issue becuase after all, he is STILL MARRIED!!! I would personally tell him that you can't see him again until he has his current personal life is under control. You also need to be very careful with this guy.....He has already started out the relationship with you by lying to you about one of the most sensitive issues there is in a relationship. I don't know him, but I'd be willing to bet that he will lie again in the future, and who knows, maybe you'll be on the other end of this exact situation next time.......you'll be the one "being divorced from". He sounds like a bad guy. I'd move on personally. Wish you could let me know what you choose to do and how it turns out. I feel for you. My best to you.

Answer 4

I would stop seeing him. He obviously had demonstrated that he cannot be trusted. Not only did he blantantly lie to you, he's been lying to you for months. I know that it may hurt since you have feelings for him, but there is no guarntee that he will actually finalize his divorce. I have seen far too many women stay in relationships with men who say they are in the process of getting divorce and the divorce is never finalized. Respect yourself by getting out. You deserve so much more. If he indeed finalizes his divorce and you are willing to give the relationship a second chance, that's up to you. But I wouldn't continue seeing him, until his divorce is finalized, he is still a married man.

Answer 5

So let me get this straight..He was seperated the whole time that you were seeing him but not legally divorced? The same thing happened to me but I was only seeing this guy about a month when he told me. I was mad but it wasnt a total deal breaker. The deal breaker was his ex was a pain in the butt not to mention his two small children. Anyhow he was dishonest with you and you can either decide to get past it and forgive him or go break it off. Sit down and have a talk with him and tell him how you feel. Do you think he may be hiding anything else that is what I worried about but in my case he wasnt. We ended up as friends and it was better that way. Good luck.

Answer 6

Ok, first of all, its not hard to get on public records on the internet to see if he has filed for divorce. If it shows that he hasnt then that should tell you to leave. If he has then you need to take it a little slower and try to find out why the divorce happened. Since he is just getting out of a marriage, I dont understand why he would want to jump into a strong relationship that fast. I know a lot of people do it and then it doesnt work out. I would take it slow.

Answer 7

If he lied to you about this then he is certainly not the type of person that you can trust very well, IS HE?? I would consider him to be off of your fishing hook if it were up to me. I think that you should be looking for someone that you can always trust to be truthful NO MATTER WHAT! My wife and I are always truthful with one another. I will not lie to her about anything. Her dad was unfaithful to her mother and I will NEVER do anything to hurt her as long as I live. She is more important to me than the breath that I take. I have been married to her for over 30 years. We have three children and one grandchild. We are both Christians and feel very fortunate to be together. I hope that you consider this long and hard before you immediately jump into this situation with him. At the very least, take a short break from him and spend time with some friends. Have a great evening.
Eds

Answer 8

You asked, and he lied. So, your whole relationship is based on a lie. What should you do? I suppose that depends on IF you enjoy liars and cheaters. Even if he's getting divorced, he lied, and put you in the position of being "the other woman". Now what? You either dump the liar, or keep dating him, and by so doing, you tell him that it's OK to lie to you. He IS a liar, and liars don't quit lying. They'll lie about anything. Is this the future you want?

Answer 9

You are being played. Get away from him and if he really is getting divorced tell him to call you when that's done. First of all he is a liar, second of all he thought nothing of allowing you to build feelings about him based upon what you perceived him to be and not the truth and thirdly (and I could go on for days) you don't seem to have much self respect for even considering staying with him. This one's a no-brainer. NEVER date a married man, even if he lies to you and tells you he's not married.

Statistics say that most married men having affairs tell their mistresses that they are getting divorced when they are actually not.

Answer 10

Don't be confused. Wait until he is divorced and has a chance to work out all the issues that are involved in ending a marriage.. Believe me he will feel alot different when it becomes "Real". If its really love then you two can resume your relationship when the dust settles. If there are children involved, he needs to help them adjust, before he puts his attentions towards you. I know you think you haven't contributed to the failure of this marriage, but you have been responsible for diverting his attention from his responsibilities to his family.