my husband is a great guy and we have had a few pregnancy scares in the past which both HE and I were excited about. All which turned out negtative.........but we were BOTH disappointed when we ended up reading the negative results....however he says hes not ready to try and have a baby yet.......he is confusing me!...any advice?
2007-01-18 11:46:10 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
If he has shown interest in having a baby with you, don't worry, he'll come around. My husband was the same way. We did talk about starting to try, and he was okay. A little unsure, but we were still moving forward. I got pregnant on our first try, and he got scared. I told him I was pregnant, and I didn't get the happy response I expected. Since I was actually pregnant and it wasn't just talk, he said everything that we would have to do in the next 9 months just worried him. He immediately made (in his head) a to-do list, and started trying to figure out our budget, whether or not I will keep working...pretty much every scenario that could happen. He did want to have a baby with me, and was excited about possibly being a dad. Unfortunately, it took a miscarriage for us to realize how much we both wanted a baby. Good luck to you! Talk to your hubby, and find out why he is not ready. For my husband, the main thing was change. He is not good with change. We have been together, just the two of us, for 3 and a half years. We take trips all the time, to the city or across the country, and a baby will change that. We made a deal that once we do have a baby, we would still have date weekends. My sister has a baby and is great with kids, so she can baby sit when we want to take a trip, just the two of us.
2007-01-18 13:26:00 · answer #1 · answered by s4loans 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Deciding to have a baby is a tough thing to do. He says he is not ready, he is not ready,and you need to give him that time before you decide to try to have a baby. You said that you had "pregnancy scares" that's a totally different thing than actively trying to have a baby. The feelings that you have are of excitement, and you plan on being happy and making the most of things if you are pregnant, but actively trying requires a decision, and more of a commitment, it's not just a "see when we get there", but a "I hope i'm doing the right thing". There's more pressure and more looking at your emotions, abilities, and the changes that baby will bring.
2007-01-18 11:53:09 · answer #2 · answered by Cyndi Storm 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might be saying that he's 'not ready' to try and have a baby yet because he wants to reduce the stress on you to have a baby. Also, it may be that he's simply questioning his 'ability' to be a good father. GIVE HIM A BREAK! Why don't you try just 'loving each other' as best you can and not 'getting excited' all the time ... and if you don't have a 'good pregnancy' in a year, then start talking about 'what to do next' ... which could be adoption, or 'infertitilty testing' or just deciding to 'let God decide if we should be parents' ...
2007-01-18 11:57:10 · answer #3 · answered by Kris L 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are trained to say that, sometimes they say stuff like that when they can tell you are disappointed, so as not to seem disappointed themselves... I have two children and I have to say I dont think anyone can EVER be prepared to have a baby... no matter how organized, finacially/emotionally healthy you are they come like a typhoon and destroy all plans and break all boundaries... It will happen when it is supposed to, and thats the truth, but you know your man... and he obviously wasnt tearing his hair out dreading about being a dad- so I say GO FOR IT!!!
2007-01-18 13:11:09 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Pregnancy is scary because once the baby is born, you can not go back. My husband went back and forth for awhile. It's probably the looming responsibility that is giving him cold feet. Try to be patient and supportive and I'm sure he'll come around.
2007-01-18 11:51:12 · answer #5 · answered by Crystal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...nobody is ever "ready" to have a baby...There is not one thing even the richest person in the world can do to be fully ready to have a baby....It could be one of those things..Where his thoughts are "if she is pregnant great" still not ready but great...Don't feel bad....He could also be trying to make you not feel bad about not getting pregnant....Men are wierd
2007-01-18 13:39:29 · answer #6 · answered by getembigger_85027 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From what you have said, you guys have had lots of hopes only to be shot down, maybe he is just not ready to be shot down again or maybe he thinks somehow it is his fault that you two aren't getting pregnant! Talk to him and tell him you know that it hurts when you two don't get pregnant but giving up is not going to help you to conceive right??
2007-01-18 11:52:34 · answer #7 · answered by jule9104 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He might just be saying that so you dont feel bad about not being pregnant. Ask him to be honst about it and tell him that you guys can try to have kids when your both ready.
2007-01-18 12:01:31 · answer #8 · answered by Chris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Green Day's American Idiot Musical?
2016-08-25 12:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by Alair 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, there's a slight possibility he was faking his disappointment, or maybe he doesn't want to get his hopes up again. You should talk to him and ask him how he REALLY feels. Good luck!
2007-01-18 11:56:04 · answer #10 · answered by *Jessy* 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋