Relationship for 11 years but there is NO Romance.?

Question

I have been in a relatinship w/my mate 4 11 years & I am @ wits end.I do love him but he is older than I & I feel that I am becoming an Old Maid.My mother has always taught me 2 be a certain type of person so fooling around is something that I am not comfortable with.At the time i'm Alone All The Time.R either on this Darn PC
I had an Auto accident in 2001 and I suffer from Depression, & stress disodor so my friends dont come around as they use 2 but I feel like I am just sitting waiting on it all to end which is not good.
I told someone as a Answer just to be around some1 that puts a smile on your face but it easier said then done because i go2 play pool by myself,watch football games by myself,sleep by myself & A gentleman ask me if I wld like 2 go out 2 Dinner R a Movie I say no,because I'm in a relationship,But I am getting 2 old 2 keep putting my womanly needs & desires off,While he chooses 2 spk 2 me with a Sharp tongue. Which I feel is Verball abuse. Boy do I need 2 get a Life

MY ADDED DETAILS ARE I KNOW I CAN CHANGE THEM... PLZZ COME A LITTLE BIT MORE UNDERSTANDING FROM READING THE WHOLE THING MAYBE THIS IS JUST FOR WOMAN........ I DONT KNOW... BUT CHANGE THEM IS SOMETHING THAT I KNOW. 11 YEARS REMEMBER

Yes i have tried to refresh the relationship. Nighties, Adult movies,Adult Measures,
:)
Backrubs. etc...Trying the Date thing.

What else is a WOMAN TO DO?
He is just not a Romantic type and My years are flowing pass me as quick as they are flowing past him..

SO THAT IS WHERE I AM STUCK

Answer 1

Well I know all about depression and stress disorder. It's natural to feel discontent with your life. But even if you love him it's not fair of you to waste away your precious life. Sometimes you need to think with your head and not your heart. He talks to you rudely...does nothing with you. Is that the kind of life you want to lead? You need to actually be selfish in this situation. Talk with him and if he doesn't give a **** about saving your relationship than I think you need think of yourself. People need to have some semblance of happiness in this shitty world so long as it doesn't hurt anyone else. It's impossible not to hurt people usually with the termination of a relationship but they will heal and you can be free. I know you suffer from depression but have more respect for yourself. Don't just settle for something. You deserve to be happy too! Fight to save your relationship or cut off your relationship.

Answer 2

First of all, 11 years and no romance? Im single, and hate it but I give a guy 5 mins and if there's no romance I think what's the point and I run, as fast as I can!

Look, you deserve to be happy, just like me, and everybody else. Why are you denying yourself that chance? You're obviously attractive, but your not giving any other men a chance becoz of a guy who is not doing much to bring happiness into your life. From a strangers perspective, it doesn't make sense.

I know it will be hard for you, if you do decide to try and leave this guy - but sometimes we have to go through a period of difficulties and sadness in order to find the happiness we need. You cannot keep living your life being miserable. You must do something. Your only other option is to simply accept things the way they are, and live in hope that he will change. I think you deserve better, you just need to convince yourself you do.

All the best.

Answer 3

my sister is going through the same thing. She has only been with him for 6 years but he is much older than her...by about 20 years. I think you are trying to be yourself and that is a fun going, energetic person. Your mate is not going to change his ways. He has his mind set and when it comes to a man....you can't chane 'em. So that is a decision you have to make. Do you wanna stay like this or do you wanna stay young and out going. For you to have other men hitting on you, you are obviously a beautiful woman with alot of potential. Your mate may not understand what he has. If you can't ever get him to understand maybe it is time for a seperation? See if that is what you really want. I like to play pool and watch football games too...but I enjoy doing it more with my mate. So, you may be happier with someone else.

Answer 4

i cant actually say i can relate to what you've stated but the one thing i will say is that you stated that you done everything to spark the flame (if any) in the relationship but has he? does he make you happy and when i say happy meaning happy to be with him in the relationship? of course happiness have to come from within which is something you have to work on with your condition and all but a relationship requires work and effort from both parties and if you're the only one trying then you're the only one in the relationship and the only one who wants it...decide what you want and what will make you happy once you get those answers you'll have no problem telling ole' boy who asked you out "yes i would like to go out to eat i'll be ready at 7". as someone already stated you dont want to make it another 11yrs and nothing has changed you're still in square one.

Answer 5

It sounds as though you have already given up or that you are hoping for sympathy.
A relationship takes two people to make an effort.
Have you tried to bring the romance back into the relationship or do u just like to whine about it.
If you are doing everything by yourself now why not just end it - it won't be any different.

Answer 6

its taken u 11 years to figure out that this is not the man for you? well i suggest u don't let another 11 years come and u are in the same spot ,go out meet people socialize u don't know whats out there until u look . I don't mean to run off and start cheating break free from this tangled web u are in and explore

Answer 7

I know exactly how you feel!! I would call it quits to your relationship and do whatever makes you happy. Go out and meet people or meet people on here. The hell with all your old friends. Make new ones!! I hope you meet good people and the best of luck!!

Answer 8

You're not in a "relationship" you're in a holding cell, waiting for someone to come with the key. Hey, who's life are you living...or not living? You only get 1, ya know? If you don't have a good one, it's up before you know it.

Answer 9

i'm particular you have asked him if he's acquainted with what you elect? What became his answer .. I purely state this simply by fact i've got confidence greater human beings assume their companions understand what they choose. if it particularly is provided in tricks or maybe spoke at one factor.. i detect greater couples who've been at the same time longer assume what their spouse thinks says and does.. and we are ninety 5% splendid on those assumptions. although to have somebody there continuously no longer asking simply by fact they assume to understand that answer is comparable to close up i already understand what your going to assert and that i do no longer choose to pay attention you talk or i might of asked you. permit human beings talk human beings choose to be listened too. in simple terms such as you elect him to hearken to you assert .. i actually might choose to be pampered often times.. then ask him if he's acquainted with what which skill. risk is he thinks him putting forward how surprising you're is his way of pampering you.. he hasn't dated so he don't understand. 11.5 years he has been with you listening to your thoughts thoughts and concepts a minimum of till his assumpts have taken over. I propose you tell him a minimum of untill he does it on his very own.. Honey will you run a bubble tub for me right this moment. that could practice me which you incredibly choose to pamper me and make me experience like a queen. and according to our talk the different day you suggested you probably did no longer choose me to experience liek we've not have been given any spark. tell him what you elect and you gets what you elect .. Make him guess at what you elect and you need to get fortunate yet greater situations than no longer it particularly is going to easily be something which you probably did no longer choose.

Answer 10

Was your relationship always like this. Seek counseling. Communicate with you other half. That is the biggest problem these days. No one wants to talk.