My husband is addicted....?

Question

I need some help. My husband and I have been married for almost four years. Everything was going fine between us until he had back surgery in June. After the surgery he got hooked on pain pills. Since then things have been going down hill between us. He is costantly buying pills from people, and spending a lot of money doing so... He also hides them from me and keeps everything about them a secret. I have told him so many times that it upsets me that he takes them, and every time I bring it up to him he just says he's got to have them for his back pain. Well I understand that, but I don't understand why he has to take more than what he is prescribed and pills that aren't prescribed to him.

He just isn't the same guy. He still loves me and I still love him, but I am just so mad about it. Am I being too harsh whenever I tell him how much I hate it when he is taking pills? What should I do?!Thanks in advance.

He takes all sorts of Opiods, Vicodin Oxycotin, percocet, METHADONE...

and yes, we have a two and a half year old....

But if I leave, what if he doesn't want me back.... :-(

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear that you are having to go through this. Drug addiction not only hurts the person abusing the drugs, but anyone who is close to the person. He has to be the one who 1st realizes that he has a problem with the pain killers and then he has to be the one to decide if and when he wants help breaking away from them. Narcotic pain killers are very easy to become addicted to. If talking to him makes him lash out at you then all you can do is seek your own help through this. I know there used to be a group (like alcoholics anonymous) that helped people through narcotic addictions. They might have a support group for family members of people who are addicted to pain killers. You could try and talk to his Dr about your concerns. One thing for him to know is that these narcotic pain killers are ruining his liver. They contain Acetaminophen (Tylenol) and when abused, tend to cause drug induced hepatitis. My brother fought with an addiction with pain pills r/t a neck injury he recieved in a car accident. He got so bad that he was crushing them and snorting them. He ended up in the ICU on a vent and now has mild brain damage that keeps him from living alone. He has to have someone with him at all times. Your husband is still the same person, but the drugs have a way of clouding that. Just remember to be supportive of him if/when he decides to seek help. He's going to need it. Don't forget about yourself either. Seek counseling for yourself. It will help you through this difficult time. I truely wish you the very best in this situation.

Answer 2

Okay I'm a ex drug user and have been clean for over 10 yrs.He is showing all the signs of being hooked.Really bad too.You need to do a intervention with u and his family to make him go to some place to get clean.Or give him a ultimatum to either clean up or u are leaving with the kids if u have any. He needs professional help to get clean most likely. If you don't do something soon I can pretty well promise u that it will only get worse. Drug users will promise u the world and then keep hiding it. He was probably a great guy but the word is WAS. Everything is different now. He's not who u knew...Soon u will find things missing plus money. If u ever want to email me u can.Good luck

Answer 3

Pain killers can be very addicting. And something that is very hard to get over. I would sit down and explain to him how his addiction is hurting you and your marriage and ask him to seek help. Sometimes people can not get over an addiction by themselves. Especially when they have had a major surgery and were probably prescribed those pain pills for a very long time. Also you might consider going to his doctors appointment with him and pointing out your concerns to his physician. Will your husband get upset? More than likely. But sometimes ya have to do something that will shake a person up and make them see how serious you are and how far you are willing to go to get them to seek help. And if something is said by your husband just ask him. ,............What would you do if the situation was reversed? I work in a hospital on the surgical unit and I see on a daily basis how many people are affected and hooked on pain killers. It does not get easier as time goes on. It gets worse.
Good luck to you...

Answer 4

i think that i can help you hopefully... first of all he needs some intervention.... i had back surgery and used to take many pain meds...ie more than was prescribed... i could not understand why i still felt pain.... the doc explained it to me like this... the longer you take the pain pills, the more of a dependency you build on them... your body actually comes to what is called a pain threshold.. this is where the pain pills are no longer effective but your body still wants them, so your brain tells your body that you feel pain so you want to give it more drugs.... the bad thing is that the only thing that leads to is bad things.... get him some help..... sounds like he is going overboard.... and the fact that he had surgery in june, he should maybe look at some other sort of course of action for back problem

Answer 5

Talk to him about your feelings and I too think he may need rehab and if he values your marriage he will take your concerns seriously. I'm a CNA and I am very familiar with the Hippocratic oath of confidentiality but you can always talk to his doctor and voice your concerns and the doctor will more than likely feel that he/she should see your husband and then he/she can take the best measures on getting him into rehab and or off of the pills. There is also the option of couples counseling that may get solid results also. Remember to approach this from a concerned point of view so it won't be perceived as nagging.

Answer 6

He has got an addiction and needs intervention. Mabe get his family involved or some friends. Try to find out where and who is supplying him the pills. Call his doctors and let them in on it too.Don't stop bringing it up. He will soon grow tired of the constant interigation. and start giving in to some help. The last resort is an ultimatum, and you know what that is. Take Care And Good Luck

Answer 7

This is a typical "white collar" addiction... I don't know what to recommend here, addiction is tough to deal with. Do you think he just takes them for fun, or is it something that's out of his control? You could have a talk with your doctor and see what they could recommend you do. Bottom line is, if he's not willing to back off of them, there's not much you CAN do. Perhaps it's innocent enough to where it could be ignored (people can take these for fun and still remain functional) - but there's always a potential for it to spiral out of control. Sorry about your predicament. A friend of mine has been on Vicodin for years after he had menengitis, he has headaches almost daily, but he thinks he's also addicted to the meds since he's been taking them daily. But he's not dysfunctional or anything, it's just he always has to have his pills.

Answer 8

I've lived with back pain for 28yrs.Been an addict since 1977,been clean since 2006.There is nothing YOU can do for Him.HE IS THE ONE THAT MUST WANT TO GET CLEAN THEN STAY CLEAN.No amount of threats will do anything to make him quit.Kick him out or you move out,sometimes that MIGHT DO THE TRICK.IT IS AN UP HILL FIGHT EVERYDAY,an addict can come up with a MILLION reasons to continue but there is only ONE reason to quit,THAT REASON IS THAT THEY HAVE HIT THEIR BOTTOM AND WANT TO QUIT!Then every day it is a fight not to start again,some days might be a little easier then others but in the beginning there are VERY FEW of them.DO NOT LISTEN TO PROMISES THEY ARE B.S.Look for action,if you can stand by him it helps a little but not much.I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK WITH THIS.It is a hard battle & once an ADDICT ALWAYS AN ADDICT.Feel free to write me if you have ANY questions on this I'm more than willing & exp. with this since I'm a RECOVERING ADDICT MYSELF.

Answer 9

Surprisingly, the worst drug addicts around are usually pill poppers and pain shot freaks. Crackheads make fun of these people, because coke is easier to hide. Of course, heroine freaks barely get out of bed so no one thinks of them, but pillers get out, thinking no one can tell, and really stigmatize themselves. It is hard to quit, because it is both psychologically and physiologically addictive. He''l need a week off work and functioning, sitting under covers and sleeping through the whole week. The headaches will be immense. Some people are so addicted that weaning in the form of a good detox program is mandatory. In the interest of self disclosure, I had to brake a muscle relaxer addiction in my teenage years. I was lucky to wise up quickly, but many people simply die or live out their lives in someone else's basement. It's not your fault and he needs to take responsibility for his own choices. Good luck.

Answer 10

Hang in there. No, you're not being harsh. He probably needs help, but guess what? You cannot make someone stop doing something if they are in denial about having an addiction. It's sad, but it's a fact. I urged my husband several times, even threatened divorce with him if he didn't stop drinking so much everyday, my words never made him quit. He still drinks but not as much as before. Lots of luck to you.
Also, I agree with that nurse that you should get help (counseling) for yourself, it's called Ala-non....its for people who are affected by other people who are close to them, who have addictions.