Is there a psychological reason people cheat?

Question

Here is the deal......I have been married for three years. I love my husband to death! We have a two year old son who I wouldnt trade for anything in the world. We have an overall great relationshop. But for some reason, I cant help but cheat on my husband! I dont know why! I just cant stop! Every time I go out, Im giving somebody "the eye." Its almost like a game that I have to win, Im not even a competetive, gotta have it all kinda girl either. And then to top it off, when I DO cheat, I dont feel bad about it at all, even though I know it is a horrible horrible thing to do. I mean, I cant even run over roadkill without crying, but then I turn around and cheat, and I have no remorse. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!!

I can accept the fact that I am just a w**re, so you dont need to rub that part in my face, just give me some advice on HOW to stop.

This isnt even about sexual relationships, I dont even enjoy sex. But when I do cheat, and there is sex, I have always used a condom...I dont want to get dirty

Answer 1

I guess the question is: why are you with your husband? It sounds as though you are not ready to commit, and marriage is not what you truly want in your life. Along with the fact that you express no remorse, those are red flags. What are your models for marriage? Do you have a reliable friend that you can talk to about your situation? If the marriage was so great, you might not be cheating. I am also wondering if you have some self-esteem issues; you don't need to prove that you're desirable, if you feel good about yourself. Affairs are simply affirmations that you are desireable to someone...but they are stop-gaps for a bigger problem. You may need to get counseling for your problem, because eventually, you are going to get caught. Love is only going to go so far, and eventually, he is going to find out and leave you. Actually, if he can prove a pattern of infidelity, he can sue for custody. You don't want to go down this road; you need to truly figure out why you are cheating, and STOP IT. Get counseling if you need to, but STOP IT. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

You need personal validation from other men that you are not getting from your husband. You need to feel attractive to other men. Talk to your husband and tell him how you feel. Maybe because you got pregnant very soon after getting married and had a child, you and your husband didn't have much time to go out and have fun together like you did when you were dating. Maybe you still have a little baby fat and don't FEEL as attractive as you used to.

Also, maybe your husband is getting a little lazy in the romance department. Does he tell you that you are beautiful, sexy, hot, etc.? Do you still make love often enough? Does he still bring you flowers or do little things to make you happy? Does he listen when you talk or just mumble something back while he's watching tv? Figure it out and you'll have your answer.

Answer 3

I've heard it said that some people who cheat are looking for approval--making sure that they are still attractive to the opposite sex, etc.

Some say that cheaters have very low self-esteem, and are trying to build it up. I've also heard people say that they just "can't say no" regarding sexual activity.

I've heard that there are just plain sex addicts out there, who need it all the time. This type of person can get help from counseling or therapy.

I hope that you can find a way to stop--as you know you are endangering your marriage, and possibly even your relationship with your 2-year-old.

Answer 4

I am wondering if you got a lot of attention from guys when you were younger and single. Maybe you are making up for lost time.

Try thinking of what would happen if you were caught cheating. How would your husband react, and what would happen to your child.

Also question if you are getting everything you need out of your marriage, if you are lacking sexually go and get some toys that you can fantasise with.

A cheating life will catch up with you, and everyone will get hurt.
Take Care
Good luck.

Answer 5

Your relationship with your husband isn't going as well as you thought and your not being satisfied, and not just sex. Maybe you feel he's not listening to you or something, but if he finds out your cheating, your relationship isn't going to be pretty. Cheating horrible, personally I think it's the worst thing you can do when you love someone, and going behind their back and losing that trust with him is indescribably wrong.

Answer 6

What is wrong with you, you ask? Simple. You are a whore. A dirty, selfish whore. You watched too much "Sex in the City" and "Melrose Place" re-runs, and you applied all that you learned to your real life. At least you could see if he's willing to have you become a "swinging" couple so he can get some, too.

Answer 7

It could be an ego thing as well as the thrill and excitement of it. Also, now that you have done it a few times, you probably feel as though you can get away with it. Just be careful, because it won't be so much fun once your husband finds out.

Answer 8

Because you are pathetic I guess. You are also forfeiting your place in the afterlife by doing so. Try www.asknoah.org
The Seven Laws of Noah:
1) No idolatry
2) No blasphemy
3)No murder
4)No adultery
5)No Theft
6)No injustice
7) No eating the limb of a live animal

Answer 9

You have a real problem, yes psychologically. Get some help or you will be in divorce court before you know it. And,hopefully fighting for visitation rights with your child. Sorry to say that, but you know you need help and should you not seek it you should face the consequences.

Answer 10

You are addicted to the game. Get therapy. And under NO circumstances should you tell your husband!!!!! But you need to cut it out. You're going to catch something. Plus you'll everyone in town thinking your a wh*re!