ok. why do people keep saying the same thing to me?

Question

i have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we recently got engaged and moved in together. i am 21 years old and he is 22. he has a great job and i have one more semester at school. any time i tell someone im getting married and im 21, they always say.... it will end in divorce. my question to you is, how many people got married young and are still married and how many people married young and are divorced. i feel age has nothing to do with it and you can be young or older and make a mistake, so why does everoyne tell me 21 is too young to get married when i know what im doing?

Answer 1

I was 23 and my wife was 20. 13 years later we have two kids and are very happy. dont let what other people say get to you.

Answer 2

When I got married, I was younger than you are now. I was 19, and my husband was 23 at the time. We too heard all about how we were "too young" and how it would "end in divorce". I don't think there was a single person who was truly supportive of our relationship when we got married. That was their decision, and while it was saddening to know know that so many people were against us getting married (we had a small ceremony at the court, just the two of us, and the JP).. it still didn't stop us from doing what we felt in our hearts.. which was that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. Sure, things have gotten a lot better since then, and most of our families support (or at least respect) our relationship. It definately didn't happen overnight though.. cause so many people assumed that our age was against us.

And well, here we are.. nearly six years later, still in love as ever! We also have a precious 4 year old son, who is the light of our life!

I think it goes without saying that it really doesn't matter what other people think.. If you love each other, and you know in your hearts that you want to spend the rest of your lives together, then that's what you should do!

Answer 3

because 50% of marriages end in divorce and the rate is even higher if the participants are under the age of 25 when they get married. So that means you don't know what you're doing because you refuse to accept that you could end up as one of those statistics. You're not being realistic!

Statistics don't lie...but that also means you could be one of those that make it. whether you are or aren't is 100% dependent upon how flexible you both are, whether you both maintain common goals, and whether you both understand and accept that you're still changing, evolving, growing up. And that means you won't be that same girl he married and he won't be that same guy....and that it's ok.

The stats say that you won't do that...and the stats also say that you'll compound the problem by having a kid within the next 3 years.

So, if you're going to go against conventional wisdom and get married then at least make sure that you don't have a kid. Don't put that extra stress on it HOld off on the kid until you're 30. By then you'll have become the people you want to be.

Answer 4

I was 20 when I got married, my husband was 19. We recently separated for two weeks and got back together. We are now going to counseling and working on our marriage. Marriage is hard work. It really is. You both need to put your selfishness aside and think about the TWO of you, rather than just "me." Age has nothing to do with it. It's how MATURE you are.

My advice to you is that if you two encounter ANY problems, please seek marriage counseling. Sounds corny and cheesy, even if you just have stupid fights or little things, it'll be well worth it. If you two hit the rocks, don't give up. Too many marriages that can be fixed end in divorce. People just throw in the towel and give up. Everything is disposable these days, no one takes their marriage vows seriously anymore. I admit, I'm not a fan of you two not being married and living together, but that's my own opinion and that's not apart of this question. If you two do end up getting married, don't assume that things are going to be better once you say I do. You're getting a good taste of married life right now. Ignore what other people say, and do what you can. I've been married three years now, it's tough, but remain calm and don't be immature when you're fighting! Take a step back and think before you speak! :) Good luck!

Answer 5

You've shown in your question, that you are still too immature to get married. You talk like a know it all teenager. If you knew it all, then you would know why people are telling you, that you are too young to get married. They say not to get married now, not because they don't believe that you truly love each other and will try to make it work. But how well can you make it work, when you don't know much about life. Will you be married, and then wonder what you have missed? That causes many young couples to divorce. It's not just about you knowing what you are doing, what about your man? A man settling down at this age? Look at it from both sides, before you jump in. Yeah, you want to get married and live happily ever after, but what if that doesn't pan out? If you feel you can handle any situation, then have had it.

Answer 6

You are young but are free to do what ever you feel to do !!! I got marrried when I was 18 and after 3 yrs because he was cheating I got a divorce we got separated when I was 4 months pregnant but my life continue because I had a reason to be happy my daugther.. But thank go I found a good man that accept me with my dagther got married and we have being married for the past 5 yrs. expecting our 2nd baby!!!! H egot married too young and got divirce because she was cheating too... But I think it all depends on the relationship,on COMMUNICATION, LOVE, TRUST, CARE and most important if more then couple you become friends!!!!Stop listen to all that negative people it will be up to you and you future hubby to have an stable relationship, just communicate and have trust in each other, don't argue for small things talk about it first and if you get along and have fun together everything will be fine !!!! GOOD LUCK and BEST WISHES !!!! in your new life !!!!:)

Answer 7

I got married young, younger than you are now, and we have been married 9 years now. We love each other and knew that then too, so why wait? Our marriage is better than ever after 9 years too. People that are 40 can just as easily get married and then divorced a few months later.

Answer 8

It is a risk at any age. I was 21 when I got married. I knew what I was doing too. We divorced 6 years later. I don't regret that time. I learned a lot and I matured a lot. I am now remarried and those experiences have strengthened me so much that I know that this marriage can endure about anything.

All you can do is try. Don't let others dictate your actions.

Answer 9

It is really hard to find real love and people get jealous when they see someone else has achieved that. Nobody can tell you what will happen to you two 10 or 20 years from now because every person is unique and every relationship is different. Do what you feel like doing and don't let others bring you down. Relationships take a lot of work and love is the reason you work on it. Congrats and good luck!!!

Answer 10

Statistically they are correct, but ignore their negative remarks. More people who marry young do get divorced these days than the number of couples who stay together, but there are exceptions to the rule. My parents were married for 57 years and had 6 children. When my Dad passed away last year they were still kissing and holding hands. Follow your own heart.

Answer 11

You can't live your life for other people. Nor for the DOOM Sayers.

I got married at 22. I was ready, I had lived (been there/done that), and I was lucky I found a nice young man who also knew he was ready. You know what the odd thing was for us? We got married in 2000, (and we were told we were moving too fast, we were too young, etc) in 2001 we went to FIVE weddings. We were just the first to get married, everyone just followed our example. Only one of those marriages has divorced. (and for good reason; emotional abuse and abandonment)

You sound as if you are ready. Go for it, and good luck.