My ex and I split up about six months ago. During our separation process, I found out that I was pregnant with our second child. He showed little interest during the pregnancy during which I met somebody else. Both men were present for the birth of my daughter but while my fiancé was trying to get me through it, my ex was acting impatient and pouty in a corner. He visited twice for very short periods of time while we were in the hospital and has only seen her a couple of times since then. He won't hold her unless asked directly and has yet to be alone with her. He is a wonderful father to our other little girl but is completely ignoring the existence of the second. I don't know what to do.
2007-01-18 09:51:45 · 11 answers · asked by DreamGirl 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't subject your daughter to a man who does not love her. That is cruel-- if your fiance is willing to be the father, let him do it!!
Sperm donors are not always fathers.
2007-01-18 09:55:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
This is a sad situation. Why did you jump into another relationship while still pregnant? This seems odd to me and maybe this is why he is acting so strange. Regardless offer to get a paternity test if he is questioning the paternity of this child. If it is his child have a talk with him and tell him that you expect him to be as much a part of this chids life as the other child.Make sure he spends time with both children equally. This is not a good situation-good luck.
2007-01-18 10:10:30 · answer #2 · answered by mom of twins 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him if he wants a paternity test done on her.. i think he's probably thinking in the back of his mind that maybe she's not him since of the timing.. i think it will help him if he knows for sure with out a doubt its his.. also realize its extremely hard to watch another man taking care of your child so he probably felt like a 3rd wheel ..which between the two has caused him not to bond with ur 2nd daughter and he's growing more and more detached from her the longer he goes with out spending any real time with her.
2007-01-18 09:56:54 · answer #3 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think he'll come around. He's probably not over your split and jealous of your fiance. Have you tried talking to him and asking him why he isn't interested in his new daughter? Maybe he will show more interest as the new baby gets older and more interesting. Try talking to him and don't give up. That baby needs BOTH of you.
2007-01-18 10:02:23 · answer #4 · answered by StrawberryShortcake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know if there is anything that you can do. It has to be his decision. Maybe he is feeling like because you weren't his at the time you found out you were pregnant the baby isn't either.. Not saying that he doesn't know its his child, just that he didn't get the attachment because he knew he wasn't going to be consistently in her life. (I'm not sure what kind of parenting time you have worked out). You could try talking to him about it in private. Maybe he will give you some answers and maybe he won't but at least you tried.
2007-01-18 09:57:51 · answer #5 · answered by Tracy G 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
sounds like he may doubt that this child is his. and apparently your relationship with the new fellow is affecting his attitude towards you and your new baby girl. perhaps talking to him directly about the matter may clear up a lot of issues. it sucks that he takes care of his other little girl but not the new one. im so sorry, i know it must be really hard. try talking with him and finding out how he feels about this situation. he may think that the new guy is gonna try to play daddy so whats the point of him getting involved only to be shoved out of the way later on down the line? just a thought. chat with him. find out whats on his thinker. Good luck and congrats on the new baby girl!!!
2007-01-18 09:59:37 · answer #6 · answered by msdrdn 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband's reaction had more to do with the fact that he does not expect to have much of a future relationship with his socond child, rather than doubting paternity.
BUT --- I think that whatever it was, it was exacerbated by the not subtle presence of your fiance, who had ABSOLUTELY NO BUSINESS BEING THERE.. Trying to get you through it? I mean come on!
What was the father, your ex, supposed to do? Try to get you through it from the other side of the bed?
2007-01-18 10:14:35 · answer #7 · answered by and_y_knot 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly I don't blame him. You had another man there while you were giving birth to HIS child. It doesn't sound like YOU should be in any type of relationship since you're not mature enough to handle them. And look at what you've done to your children? You are one selfish thing aren't you?
2007-01-18 17:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is thinking that the child is not his, have you had the child tested, so he can see, that, that is his baby. This is what you have to do. I am sure once this is done, he will change. Please think about doing the test. Have a happy new year!
2007-01-18 10:17:45 · answer #9 · answered by roseannetb@verizon.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are sperm donors and fathers. It takes a lot to be a "Dad." Be grateful you have someone to be a Dad and ignore the creep that is only the sperm donor. He's not worth it.
2007-01-18 10:01:51 · answer #10 · answered by Dizney 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋