I am 19 weeks pregnant with bad 24/7 sickness. When we do have sex it hurts me. And I am never really in the mood. Anything I can do? He doesn't complain but I want him to be happy! We havnt done anything sexual for the past month! I know pretty bad, but I want to. Any ideas on how I can get in the mood, and what we can do other than sex? Or just any tips on what you did ?
2007-01-18 09:34:34 · 15 answers · asked by wondering 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
first let me say i am sorry your not feeling well. another thing is yuck to oral when you don't feel right. go and get you some nice oil and you can get a back message and he can get ..well a different kind of message and who know maybe all that touching can get you in the mood. If it does try having sex on your side with your guy spooning your back. it doesn't allow as far penetration as other positions.
2007-01-18 09:43:40 · answer #1 · answered by rachelrmf@sbcglobal.net 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
To get in the mood will be hard. If you are not well then sex will be the last thing on your mind and worrying about your sex drive won't help. On a night that is better than normal for you (sickness wise) do some sensual massage. Unplug the phone, light some candles, play some music and worship each others bodies. This may get you in the mood. If sex hurts than you need to work out why. If no lubrication then try KY or something else. If it's the position, then try a different one. Otherwise, you could always just try getting nakid and masturbate each other. Oral sex may just make you sicker but a good old hand job can be just as nice for your hubby. Try it with some warming lubrication or alternate between warm hands and some ice for different sensations.
If you are really concerned, talk with your doctor at your next appt to see what they can do about the sickness and they will probably also have some hints about your sex drive.
Good luck sweetie, hope you feel better soon and congrats on the bub.
2007-01-18 09:44:33 · answer #2 · answered by Katie G 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand while you are sick all the time you wouldn't be in the mood for any romance. Usually in the 2nd trimester you should begin to feel more hormonal and be in the mood for sex, but it could be totally different for you. For the most part, being pregnant does change your sex life somewhat. So, don't feel guilty. Husbands have a great way of adapting. It does sound like your husband is totally comfortable with you not being in the mood.
What I try to do is get my husband to rub my feet or rub my shoulders. Or you can try taking a bubble bath together (if your bathtub is big enough for both of you). Some candlelight would help too and maybe a little light jazz music. You have to work at it, especially when your belly is sticking way out. I know it's hard for me to feel sexy just because this is the biggest I am while being pregnant. Try to remind yourself that it is only temporary, and picture yourself the way you were pre-pregnancy. It won't be like this forever and keep communication open with your husband. As long as he knows that you mean well, it makes all the difference in the world.
Without getting too graphic on here, one thing to try is while you are in the bathtub and have made the mood a little more romantic, do some foreplay with him and if your breasts are big, let him play in between them. If it works well, then use it as much as possible.
Hope this helps and good luck with the sickness and your entire pregnancy.
2007-01-18 09:59:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well sex is out of the question because it hurts, you performing oral out of the question because you are feeling sick.
you can always perform with your hand, and perhaps if he gave you oral you could get in the mood. It is so hard, I have experienced over sex drive some days and then other absolutely nothing, so I try to compromise a little and go half way when I am not in the mood. If you really can't do it then just don't if he loves and cares enough he will understand.\
Here is an article I found on the net, hope it may help best of luck
Many expectant mothers find that their desire for sex fluctuates during certain stages in the pregnancy. Also, many women find that sex becomes uncomfortable as their bodies get larger.
You and your partner need to keep the lines of communication open regarding your sexual relationship. Talk about other ways to satisfy your need for intimacy, such as kissing, caressing, and holding each other. You also may need to experiment with other positions for sex to find those that are the most comfortable.
Many women find that they lose their desire and motivation for sex late in the pregnancy - not only because of their size but also because they're preoccupied with the impending delivery and the excitement of becoming a new parent.
2007-01-18 09:49:39 · answer #4 · answered by jazyj 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm 30 weeks, and since i was about 8 weeks, my sex drive didnt slow down, it came to a dead stop!! I rarely want it, if ever, and usually it only occurs because i feel guilty like you. My husband doesnt complain either. It's hard....but if it hurts, don't do it. It shouldnt hurt you. Im sure your husband understands, it sounds like he is very supportive. I don't know what you could try to get in the mood, i dont know what to do either. But maybe your nasuea will start to let up, mine did around 22 weeks. Good luck and be glad you have a supportive hubby! Congrats
2007-01-18 09:39:34 · answer #5 · answered by misty n justin 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds cheesy but porn works if you both sit and watch it together to get the mood going. I have 3 kids, been with my hubby for 12yrs., and there are bouts of "not wanting any" in all relationships. I think its normal, pregnant or not. You may even want to try purchasing a sex toy for your husband so he can privately take care of business. Nothing wrong with it.
2007-01-18 09:40:43 · answer #6 · answered by Aimee 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
A good ol' BJ should do. You don't even have to be in the mood, just do it. There will be times in your life when sex is the last thing on your mind, you both just have to accept it - relax and get ready for the baby.
2016-05-24 04:37:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm that's a tough one.
This isn't exactly appropriate, but what the hell I'll say it... if he spoons you it might be more comfortable for you. And if he nibbles on the back of your neck or something. I was always more aroused when my husband and I were snuggling and talking about the new baby. Just something about having his hand on my belly and knowing that he was gonna be such a good Daddy!
2007-01-18 09:43:56 · answer #8 · answered by I Ain't Your Momma 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you need your rest first of all, dont forget you are creating a new baby and you just seem to be one of the many millions of other women who feel like this when they are pregnant. if your husband is ok and understanding then consider yourself lucky! have him rub your feet or something! get him to dote on you now cause after you have your baby those opportunities will be far and few between!
2007-01-18 09:50:12 · answer #9 · answered by Jessy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, since you're the one who's pregnent, you should be taken care of. Take care of yourself first. Get healthy for yourself and your baby. The husband should take care of you also, and himself - you shouldn't be doing all the work.
But if you insist on sex - try giving him a hand-job or just give him a good rub - or if you want to go wild - give him oral. You shouldn't try too hard since you're sick.
If I had a pregnant wife, I wouldn't give her a hard time.
2007-01-18 09:45:38 · answer #10 · answered by Think Richly™ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋