My best friend at work is a male. Is this wrong?

Question

My question is why do other people consider this an emotional affair? I can go two weeks at a time not seeing my husdand because our work schedules are diffrent. I don't have sex with my friend but we do spend breaks together sharing life stories and talking about what ever comes up. Should I end a friendship and suffer the loneliness to make everyone else happy. And yes my male co-worker friend is married too.

Answer 1

most co-workers suck...i bet it's a bunch of old married ladies with nothing better to talk about.
finding someone you can talk to at work is awesome, it makes the day much better.

If you feel creepy, you should get him and his wfie and you and your husband together for dinner.

Answer 2

Here is how I see it. If a friend is a friend and only that it should not all matter because you are disconnecting your private life from your personal. But then again if say for instance as you are talking to this person, they become interacted in your life situations and can only think on you and not concentrate on their own issues it becomes a problem that needs commital fixing. Remember you are stuck to one person and to add another is not something you need to get mixed up in. Affairs of the heart can be a messy issue especially when you are talking to a spouse that has no ideas that while you were doing so, they weren't included..you need to keep them aware to what you do at work for the sake of the relationship. Yes you dont see your spouse for days a time but it is wiser to let them know where you stand. I should know as I was in this same situation a while ago. But anyhow, I would want to stay as far away from giving a total stranger (friend) all there is because I can safely say that having men friends that get too close to a woman's issues is not good to the psychi. Some men take advantage of a woman's vulgnerabilities and play on them and use it against you for their own agendas. Also telling someone too much about you can literally ruin a good working relationship with that said person or others. IWhat I mean is you are just putting your affairs in front of the working crowd, expecting them to open up to you and say aww poor baby and wallow in your mess. Lots of coworkers who are friends would rather do their job then hear another person's problems. Plus it can affect your performance later on. You need to be able to make the sensual choice of knowing right from wrong and if you can't well then I would start looking at finding a seperate place to work that doesnt interfere with your issues at home. So good luck sweety on whatever you do!

Answer 3

I don't believe there is anything wrong with having a male best friend. You do need to be forewarned that really it is a risky road you are walking. You do not see your husband for sometimes two weeks at a time and you are okay with that. Not a good sign. I think you are okay with it because you are getting some emotional needs met by your friend. I don't think you are trying to start something that could turn negative, but this is something that can turn negative. How do your spouses feel, because if your friendship hurts your spouse, you need to consider those feelings period. Emotional affairs (not saying this is one but it could develop into one if it hasn't already) can often be even more damaging and feel like even more of a betrayal than someone who just has some casual affair. I am not saying one is more wrong...just one hurts more.

Answer 4

I was in a similar situation because we had to work on many projects together and we became friends and team mates. We knew we respected each other's opinion and knew we could count on each other and had a very organized system. I will first tell you that as long as you know this is a friendship and nothing more, don't worry about what others are saying. However, the moment you begin to even wonder what it would be like to go a little further, then you must take a step back.

Answer 5

Monica, everyone should have relationships that include emotional intimacy. Most often, that relationship should be with the spouse, even though this is sometimes evident in other relationships. While having a close relationship with a person of the same sex is not a bad thing, you and your friend must tread carefully because there is a line which must never be crossed. Continue to be faithful to your husband and try earnestly to keep him informed about the details about the relationship with your best friend.

If when you get to the point where you are uncomfortable about discussing he relationship with your spouse, then maybe the relationship with the best friend should not exist. Again, just continue to be faithful to your husband and you will not go wrong.

Answer 6

Hey... you know in your heart whether this is an affair or not. As long as you're not kidding yourself - who cares what other people think. Perhaps you need to get out more and make more friends, then you won't feel so touchy about this one. I too have a good male friend, but I have plenty of other friends, both male and female. Variety is the spice of life. The only thing I would worry about is something like this getting between you and your husband. If it's causing problems in your marriage - perhaps you could step back from the friendship a bit. Otherwise - just do what you're comfortable with.

Answer 7

A wise person places their energy where the heart lies.

A doctor once noticed that he was feeling drawn more toward members of his female staff than his wife. Because they shared the day to day work issues, bonding took place and made these coworkers get closer than needed. The doctor noticed that when he went home, it was hard to convey the day's events to his wife, because she did not have the experience or medical background. So, he shared more with his nurses.

It finally dawned on him that he was putting more of his heart into sharing his life with these other women than his wife. He decided to make a change. Rathar than leave his wife or allow this habit to continue, he asked his wife to come join him at his work a couple of times a week. She became a member of the team, and an entire new avenue of communication opened up between the doctor and his wife. Their marriage grew and flourished over this endeavor.

Almost all affairs start off as entirely innocent. Don't toy with the probablility that you will begin to bond more with this friend than your mate. Caution is strongly advised.

011807 4:30

Answer 8

The problem is only if you can't go with out seeing your friend for like a day but you can go for two weeks with out seeing your husband. If everything seems like a normal friendship than that is cool but if you are keeping anything from your husband like that fact that the friend you are going on holiday is a male then you have to consider that the red flag of I am hiding something there for this relationship is something else.

Answer 9

The problem here isn't that you're having an affair. It's that you open yourself up to temptation. As long as you don't run to him when you and your husband are having problems (or him with his wife) - then there's no problem continuing a friendship at work. However, outside of work, I wouldn't suggest doing anything together without your spouses. Even if there's nothing going on, it may give others the wrong impression and that might end up creating doubt with your spouses. Does that make sense?

Answer 10

No. Your cool, a friend is a friend. An emotional affair? What's an "emotional affair"? The friend that said that is either lonely, jealous, or a gossip queen to come up with something like "emotional affair".

Answer 11

The reasoning behind saying that men and women can not be friends is because eventually this emotional affair that you are having will lead to one or the other of you fantasizing about taking the relationship further.
You can say that you would never do that, but you can't say that for your friend....it's leading you both into temptation.
Make a date with your husband and enjoy time spent with him.