I am 39 y.o and now live abroad - married and have 2 kids, one a teenager and other one is 2nd grader both boys, now this is a bit sensitive as I am an Indian, I have had an arranged marriage, I have been a person who always was inferior and never thought of myself as an individual, always been scared of people and do things to please others. Never experienced love in other words no one touched my heart, After 10 years of living abroad 3 years ago - someone touched my heart and I just changed from a negative to a positive person - just like that. I thought I was in love for the first time in my life, got worried and took 2 years to come out of that and accept that god sent me a gift through a friend. I recently came to india and on return felt lonely again and I wanted to make friends so I got into the chat and made friends but also let someone touch my heart again and am having hardship how can I come out of this mind set of wanting love and not accepting my husbands love now,
2007-01-18 09:05:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
This is never easy. I understand your wanting "love" and personal fulfillment, but what price are you willing to pay? If you go chasing after your own dream, you are going to break 3 other people's hearts. And to be honest, you will probably never find anything better than what you have now. And you might not even find anything as good! Sure, you might "fall in love" and it will feel great for a while, but, like everything else in life, your new love will eventually become routine, and then the cycle starts again.
You say you have a husband who adores you. Have you discussed any of this with him? There are some super ways to revitalize a marriage, and there are loads of things you could be doing to make yourself feel more fulfilled. Because fulfillment comes from within yourself...not from outside. So, please, give your actions some very careful consideration.
What would you tell your daughter (if you had one) if she came to you with this exact problem under the same circumstances? Would you tell her to stay with her family or chase after a new man?
2007-01-18 09:19:18 · answer #1 · answered by huckleberry 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that your husband was loving and caring shows that he likes you and the child . If his parents are very possessive and wants their son all to themselves they are to be blamed . Many men in such situations make their lives very difficult by not taking a stand . They want to be neutral. This ends up with both wife and the parents making the life more miserable. Your husband has gone through the same path and for want of some peace seems to have chosen one side ( his parents` side) . This puts you in an awkward position . You know your husband is not a problem . Please do not precipitate any crisis and go to a point of no return. See if you can motivate him to take up job somewhere else. Also calmly have an open discussion with your parents in law. Totally open discussion . Make your points clear and do that without anger or hatred or crying . Do this and see their reaction afterwards . Tell than that the modern day wife has more expectations from their partner than it was the case earlier . If all these do not change the situation try to live separately for a while . Show that you are strong and not weak.
2016-05-24 04:31:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you think it may be possible to befriend your husband. It sounds like you have always viewed him as a burden or a symbol of your lack of freedom. Is it possible you never gave him a chance (i could be wrong i have no idea but its something to think about) Why not try to put some of the effort you have put into making friends into becoming friends with your husband. Love that blossoms from friendship is usually the most fullfilling kind. But like all relationships it takes work so maybe you could give it a go with the hubby, treat your relationship like your dating him...since the marriage was arranged this is sort of your chance to date.Its worth a shot!
2007-01-18 09:16:47 · answer #3 · answered by Courtney C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The old mindset - this marriage to this man was forced on me.
To change the mindset, set this thought aside. Forget that the marriage was arranged. See him exactly for who he is, a fine human being with strengths and shortcomings. Think about his strengths, things about him that are special and interesting.
New mindset - this man is excellent after all, a loving husband. I notice and appreciate everything that is good about him.
If you persist making this effort, you can eventually replace the old mindset, which according to you is no longer valid.
2007-01-18 09:21:58 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you have so much time with you that you can think of loving the fourth person. you said you have two childeren and your husband, so that makes it three.Isnt God being greatful to you for having given you three lovely people to love already? A desire for more love is quite natural but learn to contain it and even better if you can use the love of the three existing people in your life to fulfill your desire for more love.
2007-01-18 10:23:36 · answer #5 · answered by Shivani A 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should follow your heart, it is no use living with someone if you are not happy, you only get one chance at being happy in this life.
2007-01-18 09:59:51 · answer #6 · answered by red 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you met this person face-to-face? Have you gotten to really know this person? There's a saying," Better the devil one knows than the devil one doesn't know . . ." Personally, I'll take my chances with someone who has proved he loves me than with someone who still has to prove (or may not prove) it.
2007-01-18 09:15:11 · answer #7 · answered by JADE 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
PRAY,only God can answere this question and he will. good luck.
2007-01-18 09:14:50 · answer #8 · answered by frogenstien 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
have a nice future, best wishes for your good future
2007-01-18 09:15:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋