2007-01-18 08:25:41 · 14 answers · asked by paswami 2 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Other - Entertainment
Yes I have 18 of them. enjoy
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says:
"A beer please, and one for the road."
6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this
taste funny to you?"
7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome" "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to
Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe
you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy.
9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
12. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms!"
13. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a mussel.
14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.
15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and
says "Dam!".
16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." !
18. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to
a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in
Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself
to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband
that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,
"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
2007-01-18 08:45:51 · answer #1 · answered by darkratpoet 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know this one is not short but it's my favorite, A brother went to his brothers house and asked would he keep his cat for three or four weeks while he moved to London and got settled, the other brother sure set him out, no the brother said i love this cat, you must keep him in the house, he OK, so the brother left, about three days later he got a telegram saying "cat was dead", the brother jumped on the next plane and rushed to his brothers house and told him was crazy, "You don't send something to some one saying it's dead", the other brother said , "well what did you want me to do, it was dead"
He said "well you could have broke the news to me a little easier, like send telegram saying "cat got roof today and we can't get him down", next day send one that says "took cat the Vet., but it don't look good", then on the third day, you send one that says " tried everything but the cat didn't make it", so the brother went back to London, three days later got telegram that stated"mother got on the roof today and we can't get her down"
the question is, will he stay for the next 2 telegrams or get on the plane, lol
2007-01-18 08:44:51 · answer #2 · answered by DukeofDixie 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hope this passes your test:
An elderly lady was admitted to a Nursing Home by her family and despite the horror stories one might hear about nursing homes this one was Excellent. The staff went beyond the call of duty. In most situations, when they would set the elderly lady in the garden to enjoy the sunshine and fresh air, periodically she would lean to the side. To the staff it looked as if she was gonna fall out of the chair they would speed to her rescue and position her back upright.
When her family came to check on her and asked her how things were going she reported: "I'm a little disappointed, they won't let me fart around this place."
2007-01-18 08:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by Nemesis: Your worst nightmare 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can U stay Healthy for a "Fight"?
(By knocking the Sh*it off your opponent, first)
How can U make a "tissue" dance?
(Put a little Boogie on it!)
In a Mexican's World: What does NBA stand for?
(National Beaner's Association)
How do we get a FAT black boy to do pushups and FAST?
(Put some chicken and corn on the floor..and tie his arms on his back!)
If you see a Rainbow with the word F.A.G.G.S written on it...what does it mean?
(F)uck (A)ll (G)ay (G)uys (S)lowly !
I know these jokes aren't that "Funny" and "Clean" and "Short" but I just heard them last night, and made me laugh...
2007-01-18 08:38:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Whats invisible and smells like carrots?....bunny farts
Why was Tigger looking in the toilet?.......He was looking for Pooh
Theres two I hope at least one of them cracks a smile
2007-01-18 09:26:45 · answer #5 · answered by Misti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A horse walks in to a bar and the bartender says why the long face.
2007-01-18 08:29:07 · answer #6 · answered by kmdanie1279 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
April Showers Bring May Flowers.....What does a May Flower bring?
-Pilgrims!!!
2007-01-18 08:30:08 · answer #7 · answered by Steph 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Where are motocycles found in the bible?
And David's Triumph was heard throughout the land.
2007-01-18 08:30:36 · answer #8 · answered by James M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
A Duck walks into a bar..says hey bartender..give me a beer and put it on my bill
2007-01-18 08:33:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's black and white and eats like a horse?
A Zebra!
Love ya!
2007-01-18 08:29:16 · answer #10 · answered by baroni2486 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋