My wife is a very lazy lovemaker, how do I get her to be more involved in a love making session?

Question

I do 15 to 30 minutes of foreplay every time we do it. I have never stopped just because I am done, I try to make her have an orgasm everytime, I never had this problem with other women I was with before I was married. I think I just have a dud.

Answer 1

my experience has been most women feel it is a lot of energy spent to watch your man have fun.there are a lot of things to be done. are you the very best lover possible ? have you asked her to rate your lovemaking ? what are you willing to do to improve this situation ? i have many friends both male and female and the broad consensus is that sex goes two ways . you are married so i must assume you care deeply about this woman and the sex life you share with her.. so start by asking her to rate you honestly ..then ask her what can you do to improve this sex life.. then start doing everything the two of you can come up with..having said all this it is possible you have married someone who really doesn't care about sex (yours or hers)...................

Answer 2

The first thing you should do is hold out on the love making. You need to spend more time with her on an intimate level that doesn't involve sex. There is something going on her spirit that's blocking her from opening up fully. What ever the problem is it's robbing her of her enthusiasm.

As her husband it's time for you to focus on the best friend part of your marriage relationship. Sometimes low self esteem can turn into laziness or she might be intimidated by you sexually in some sort of way or maybe she has other needs that are not being met. Whatever the problem is, you have to be patient, gentle, compassionate, and most important, mature and understanding. This way, she'll be encouraged to open up and be more motivated. Once the obstacle has been removed, you'll get those ultimate love making sessions with her that you so much desire.

Answer 3

Tell her what you want. You'll obviously have to find more delicate words than "lazy" to describe her technique, but if you don't tell her, she's never going to know.

Try watching some pornographic films, or reading some magazines with her. Many women who are "lazy" in the sack simply don't know any other way to be. A little education can go a long way: pick films with examples of different positions, and definitely make sure she sees scenes where the woman takes the lead.

Answer 4

From experience the only time I have been "lazy" was when he wasn't doing anything for me, and I was like "let's just get this over with", any way my suggestion would be alot of fore play, and like someone else said movies, books, whatever, just to change it up. Maybe your wife is a romantic in which case you could make her dinner, flirt with her while eating, there are lot's of things you can do with food to incorporate sex----Watch 91/2 weeks to understand what I am talking about. Give her a bubble bath and hot oil massage. The possibilities are endless!

Answer 5

Sounds to me like you could probably use some help too buddy... to get her engaged... you need to be engaged too... If it's bad for you... it can't be good for her either... good sex is not about the orgasm... it's about the dance before... and the dance afterward... a good orgasm (female...) can last a minute or two...or four... a guy...what? about 10-15 seconds? take your time... start with flowers... a good bottle of wine or two ( she should have a glass or two more than you perforeming under the influence makes guys lazy and selfish) some soft music... candles... let her know that you want "it" to be special...and just for her... it takes effort but what, worth having, doesn't? foreplay doesn't start with "get naked sweetie I got a woodie"... it starts with a discreet touch under the table of a nice restaurant... let her know that you not only WANT her... let her know you LUST for her... If that doesn't work... tell her you know the sex isn't working for her and discuss what might work for her.

Answer 6

Try to be more attentive to her needs. How? When all else fails try talking with her. Often, a "lazy lovemaker" is uninvolved because she isn't getting anything out of it and she figures you're getting off whether she moves or not. Find out what she likes and then do it.

Answer 7

Obviously you are awful in bed and she is not interested in your lack of technique. How long does foreplay last? Does she orgasm before you do? Do you give her oral sex? Do you tell her you love her and treat her like a lady or do you say "let's do it" and go straight for intercourse without bothering to get her off? You are a crap weasel for saying this awful thing about the woman you "love".

Answer 8

Not trying to be ugly, but could it be she is not enjoying it? If she is asleep on the bus, maybe it is because she does not enjoy the ride. Before you determine it is her, make sure you are doing all you can to make it something she wants, enjoys and rocks her world. If she is having mind blowing orgasms, she will get into it, then she will be crawling all over you to get more...

Answer 9

Sounds familiar. There are lots of new "love potions" on the market now, some as easy to get from "Bath and Body." There is also prescription drugs that her obgyn can prescribe that will enhance your love making, just as Viagra does for men!

Answer 10

The most interesting thing about *this* question is that you don't even realize how you have just exposed yourself.

Your problem goes WAY deeper than "lazy lovemaking" my friend.