She text me last sunday saying she was down because a friend had taken an overdose on friday and she was not feeling great.
My ex is an alcoholic with cirhossis.
I said i wish i could help her and got no reply.
Why does she contact me (she has done this before) telling me she feels ill and then when i offer to help she doesn't want me to?
2007-01-18 07:42:03 · 33 answers · asked by padervan 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Dude, she wants you to feel sorry for her and come to her rescue. I wouldnt do it.
2007-01-18 07:45:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This doesn't sound very healthy. If you want her to stop contacting you, simply tell her that you need your space and it's over.
As for her being an alcoholic, that's just the way they are. They're unreliable. They play to the best offer and run with that. If she gets a better offer, she's off on that and you're chopped liver. They pretty much just reach out to everyone and see who bites first.
I sugest you learn more about alcoholics if you have not already done so. Go to AA meetings and listen to the alcoholics talk. You'll learn useful information. Go to Al-Anon and talk about this in a meeting. Listen to others.
If you were married to an alcoholic, you have been affected with the disease of alcoholism yourself. You don't need to drink the booze to get the behavioral problems. And there's a reason you picked an alcoholic. Look into that.
You may need recovery yourself. Living with an alcoholic is damaging to the most healthy person. Get to an Al-Anon meeting and talk this over there. Those folks will know *exactly* what you're going through and how you feel.
I hope you are able to find peace and that this type of weird behavior won't bother you anymore. It's just the way she is. Stay away from her if you can. I know it tugs at your heartstrings but it's not good for you.
2007-01-18 07:53:24 · answer #2 · answered by DearAbby 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
How very sad. I think she sounds very lonely.Perhaps you are her hold on reality. You must be a nice person to still be there for her. She sounds a very complex person but I suppose alcoholics are.All you can do is offer her the support. Is it too late for her to have some sort of counselling? She sounds as if she feels her life is out of control.I get the feeling that your hands are tied and you can't help her any more than you do by offering the help.
Does the fact that she is your ex say that you once walked away from it all? All you can do is get on with your own life and keep offering the help. It must be very difficult for you but some people have a self destruct button and maybe she is one of them. As sad as it is you can do no more for her than you do.
2007-01-21 21:08:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
She just wants a sounding board!
She probably will always find something to get depressed
about. Its an excuse to have a drink and I suppose that
makes her feel better.
Offer no more help. If she really wants help move her in
another direction. Preferably not yours. Because its not
going anywhere. She will make you ill in the end. I don,t mean
to sound harsh. But as she now has cirhossis what does the
future hold? I feel sorry for you and Her.
2007-01-18 23:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Minxy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not respond to her texts or calls or anything. If you must change your number and do not give it to her. If there are still issues that need to be discussed tell her to contact your lawyer and then stop talking to her directly. IF you respons, no matter what you say she will see this as encouragement. Sounds silly but true. Sounds like she wants you back. Sounds like a foolish woman. If yo want to avoid her, do not respond at all.
2016-05-24 04:17:13 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her the benefit of the doubt. Often women just want someone to listen to them. Maybe she's not looking for a white knight to help or fix her problem; just a friend to listen without judging. Good luck!
2007-01-18 07:48:52 · answer #6 · answered by SA Writer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your response was a little lukewarm at best, maybe she was hoping you'd be a knight in shining armour, who would take the text as a call to arms, and when you just brushed her off, she probably withdrew into herself, or a bottle.
2007-01-18 07:52:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Fish on a sting... When I go fishing, I put my fish on a string and put them back in the water. Every once in a while I will go pull the stringer to make sure they are still there. Not because I want to do anything with them, but just to make sure they are still there for when I want to take them home. When I am ready, I pull the string, gut them, fillet them, and eat them... Are you the fish on her string that shows every time she pulls? Are you ready to be gutted, sliced and eaten? Think about it... No doubt my fish always think I am going to maybe let them go, but I never do, they all die and feed me, my family and friends in the end...
2007-01-18 07:51:22 · answer #8 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's all mind games. Don't let her play these games with your head anymore. She prolly finds it theraputic to her own selfish needs to see if you still care enough to want to, not that she actually wants you too. Some people are just really immature and never grow up.
2007-01-18 09:09:39 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i think maybe your ex. needs isnt feeling very good about this, i mean your break up, cus if u really love someone it osnt easy to get over him, or get over the life u used to have with him, so maybe she want to have a part of what she was used to (sharing with u) in her life,
its like she is confused, her feeling bad about u 2, puts her in a "see-saw" so she go for a step and then back off
2007-01-18 07:51:57 · answer #10 · answered by grace_myth 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She is trying to hold on to the last strand of relationship that the two of you have. You are probably a security blanket for her even though you arent together.
2007-01-18 07:52:28 · answer #11 · answered by hank 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋