Is it Possible to be Totally Loveless?

Question

They say that there is someone out there on the planet for everyone. I see this all the time. I see the beautiful people with mates. I see the poor with mates, hell! I even seen old people living on the streets with mates, but for someone like my self there seems to be no one out there for me.
Is it possible to be such a lousy gene line that people automatically pick up on it and don't even want to know you? Sometimes I feel as though I am cursed and women can see right into the empty box that I am and want to have nothing to do with me.
I'm nice and polite and I put most people ahead of myself. I'm not super-duper handsome, but I was spared from hitting that last few branches of the Ugly tree. I have a great job and I don't steal or lie. I've treated every woman that I've been with in life like she was worth her weight in gold so, why is it that I'm so alone and without a mate? Why is it that I have to watch others have closeness and happiness, yet there is none for me?

I know that this question opens myself up for attacks and hurtful comments, but I guess I'm so frustrated that I'm willing to take the chance and ask you guys this.

Answer 1

no it isn't

Answer 2

I don't believe that for a moment. We all go through down times or periods of loneliness. At some point you will come across a girl just right for you. You may just be looking to hard and not really seeing what's in front of your face. There is a song, country song, that the guys tells his waitress how lonely he is and how much he'd like a wife and how hard he is looking and at the end of the song it was her all along and they got together. I didn't think there was anyone in my hometown that I'd be interested in or would date me after my divorce so I got on line and met some very nice (and not so hot) guys, even dated one guy for 2 1/2 years and after a while I gave up and then when I thought love just wasn't in the cards for me any more I found my fiancee, he played music with some friends of mine and we started talking and now 4 years later we are engaged. Life is strange but give it time, you'll find someone.

Answer 3

Hey buddy, you sound pretty down. Worse yet, you sound pretty down on yourself. You're just in a slump because I can tell you this...

There *is* someone for everyone. There truly is. I don't care how weird you think you are or how off base you think you are. You'll just attract a woman who is a little odd, that's all. But is it possible that you're being too picky? Maybe you think that any woman who would be attracted to you is not worth your time? A friend of mine was that way and it was real defeating.

Also my friend, there is such a thing as "too nice". Women don't like you to be "too nice". They want to know that you've got an ****** that you can call forth if you need to protect yourself (or her). So don't be "too nice". Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to be disingenuous, just don't bend over backwards all the time.

You need to get your confidence back. Sounds like your confidence is sagging. Think about something you're afraid of (like rock climing or sky diving) and do it. Just go and do it. It'll teach you that you've got more in you than you say you do. All of us have that and you need to find yours.

I'm guessing you've got a good sense of humor and that usually indicates greater than average intellect. You sell yourself short though. You might do well to get some self-help books and read them. Get a good counselor and talk about this stuff.

Can you talk about this stuff with your guy friends? If you can't, then you need to get out and meet some better male friends. Some guys are pretty cool that way and can talk about this stuff.

You need to realize that either you are in a slump, in which case you need to focus on your prior successes or you have an unrealistic self view. Nobody is as pathetic as you make yourself out to be. Get to know yourself better. There is your perception and there is reality. You may be in serious need of altering your perceptions until they more closely match reality. A counselor would be a good place to start.

You sound young and it's normal to feel this way from time to time when you are young. Rest assured, there is someone for everyone. The most f--ked up people find mates. You don't sound nearly so bad as some folks I have met. There's somebody for you. But think about this first... Don't you want to get your sh-- together first? If you do, you'll attract somebody who will bring you less trouble. If you attract somebody right now, you have to gamble that this person will grow along with you. Do your growing and then look for a mate.

I also think you should pick a challenge like climging the highest mountain near you or skiing a really difficult slope. Pick something tough to do and make it happen. Get out there and live life and don't think too hard about all these negative feelings. Prove yourself to yourself and then begin to evaluate how accurate you are in how you see yourself.

Good luck to you. Things will get better. The good times never last and the slumps never last either. Life goes up and down. You're down right now but you can't stay there, even if you wanted to.

Answer 4

Firstly I would suggest working on your self esteem, no one should feel as though they are an "empty box". Also, I think people can sense when we have negative feelings about ourselves, so maybe changing that will help you. Try getting involved in more activities, put yourself out there in a positve way, the more people you meet and interact with the more likely you find the person for you. Love isn't about looks, it's about so much more than anyone can ever tell you. Good Luck I really hope you find what you are looking for.

Answer 5

I am sure that you will find the right person.. just wait and you will see... besides - the people that you see that have "mates" probably aren't as happy as what you may think... Sounds like you may be a bit shy... try being a bit more outgoing and get out there and meet someone!! Maybe because of all your qualifications, great job, honest, average-good looking, maybe YOU are intimidating to the ladies... there are not that many guys out there with this type of background!!!

Answer 6

Hey Jax read some of the answers and they were right on the head women in general don't want a insecure men you have to develop a little balls.
Another thing that you might want to try is a dating service meet plenty of women with no expectations don't get devastated if told to f**k off look at it like fishing think to yourself NEXT after you have done this a while your confidence will start to improve and you will notice that women find you more attractive. then you can startt developing a relationship with a special someone. I was you 40 years ago.

Answer 7

I can tell you this, I have been married for many dreadful yrs, BUT! I feel exactly the way you do, I can identify with you 100%

it seems not fair that some ppl 'seem' happy with a nice loving partner. but who really knows?
they show on the outside that they are happy, but nobody knows what goes on behind closed door.
this goes for everyone.. no matter rich or poor, black or white, skinny or fat, G*y or not... it is all over the place......
Think how sad some of the celebrities are with their lives.. everything is not always what you see.
I see things in black and white, there is no IN-BETWEEN, either he loves me or not.
I have been so unhappy in my life, even my childhood was horrible.. and now 22 yrs of being married.
I don't believe in Divorce, so I'm gonna stick it out. ( my mom was married 5 times and I hate that)

sorry so long, just wanted you to know your not alone.

Answer 8

Your princess will come. When your looking, it doesn't happen. Stop looking so hard. Have fun with friends and family. You also may want to consider when you met a lady not to treat her like gold immediately. Of course treat her nice, but give a women a challenge also, we do like that to. If you hand her everything then there is no challenge, and nothing to look forward to or work for.
Good luck, I know you will find someone soon, just let it happen naturally, don't push it.

Answer 9

There is someone out there for everybody. Sometimes you just have to wait. Patience in a virture. How do you present yourself? Are you shy or are you pushy. Both can push a woman away. You need to be outgoing but not over do it. Go to parties, the mall, the movies GO TO CHURCH. I'm sure you will find a friend there. If not you may find something more special. You may find Jesus.
Take care.

Answer 10

I think you seem like the perfect man for every girl,prince charming,but what you dont know is that perfection freaks woman out,I mean if your nice all the time and polite and all,dont get me wrong never change these things about yourself,but women do tend to wonder :"hmmm what is he hiding! he cant be THAT perfect!" or as they say too good to be true.
I dont think you met the one for you yet,dont look for love,it'll find you,and i dont mean by that sit at home and do nothing,but live your life one day at a time and hopefully you guys will meet :)
Good luck every ladie's knight!

Answer 11

It sounds to me like you dont have a lot of confidence in yourself. You call yourself empty and that cant be good. Work on you for awhile start doing things in your life to fill you up so to speak. You often find exactly what you want right when you stop looking.

And dont put everyone above you...realationships should be a partnership. It will be hard for a girl to respect you (which is what we want in a soul mate) if she can walk all over you. Dont be a jerk but stand up for yourself and what not.

Good luck man