Any tips on how to increase your self-confidence and assertiveness?

Question

I am speaking at a conference in April and naturally I get nervous. I also get nervous and I am a bit of a'wallflower' when I meet new people. Especially when the room is going to be filled with potential employers. I think I worry about what they think of me and stuff, which I know is a bit stupid, but I think we all do that when we meet new people.

Any tips or ideas on how to become more confident in these circumstances i.e public speaking and meeting new people.

Is there a Paul MacKenna CD or something which can help with these things.

Answer 1

The first step to building confidence, in my opinion, is finding out what you truly want. Over the next week, whenever you feel down, depressed, insecure, or frustrated, start making a list of all the things you want. They can be little things, like, "I want a glass of water" or big things, like "I want to ride around the entire world in a hot air baloon." Just write down everything and don't censor yourself. Then after a week, and even throughout the week, look at the list and decide which of those things you can do something about. Then start doing it! Some of the things might require little steps first, but if you really want it, then you can do it. As you start seeing that you can do things that make you happy, your confidence will grow!

As for the actual speaking, I always make sure that I know my material really well, but that I'm not afraid to make adjustments as I go along. Then remember that chances are they won't remember what you said five minutes later, so if you make a small mistake, half of them are sleeping anyway and the rest won't notice. Practice, practice, practice! And good luck!

Answer 2

I have heard that if when your giving a speech you imagine your listeners have no clothes on that helps, i think the idea is to think of something that will take your mind of your self consciousness. Maybe some deep breathing will help to stay relaxed, try not to bother too much of what they think of you, just deliver your speech to the best of your ability. There are several books and cds out on this sort of thing that might give you a couple of more tips but be carefull you don't throw too much money away on them. Also you could try building yourself up mentally for the day, picture yourself giving the speech and it all going very smoothly and how you would like. Finaly remember its natural to feel this way, i admire you for having the guts to stand up and make a speech, i'm pretty sure i couldn't do it

Answer 3

I'm not sure exactly what changes someone from being quiet, and nervous to being assertive and confident. What you can be sure of though, is what you feel on the inside is not necessarily what is seen from the outside looking in.

In my EXPERIENCE the transition from quiet and nervous to assertive and confident occurs by putting yourself in a position where you challenge your internal fears. Over time, you become more confident as each little step you take puts you further up the mountain you are trying to climb.

In other words, there is no quick fix. It is a long climb from the bottem of a hill to the top. You can take a lift up if there are some lifts, but you will find that you might fall flat on your face if you ski too fast too soon. Indeed, that is often the best and fastest way to learn to ski.

Push youself!

Answer 4

Take assertiveness training. You will learn a lot about the different types of people. There are only 4. It is natural to feel self-conscious and to feel uncomfortable and nervous around new people. It is also normal to feel nervous around people you know. As a speaker, it is important to know exactly what you will say, how to say it, how long it will take to say it, and what you will be looking for in response to what you are going to say. Preparedness is vital. Time yourself. Have responses ready for all the responses and questions you might expect. Don't be shy or embarrassed to admit you don't know something or you are not prepared for something. Respond honestly. You should always be nervous before undertaking a huge responsibility such as public speaking. To not be nervous is to assume you know everything and are prepared for everything. And which human is? Hope this helps. Wish you success on your chance to shine.

Answer 5

Think of the most confident person you know and just ape them. People don't know you so won't know the difference. Besides, the person giving the presentation isn't the real person.

If you're nervous about meeting new people just smile, mingle and make small talk. Most people are nervous in new social situations - you'll probably find most people are as nervous as you.

Answer 6

Hi, you have to believe in yourself for you to believe.
If you believe you'll be nervous you will be. The smile breaks the ice and confidence shines through the smile-you'll be fine just have to have belief in yourself ok?

Good luck xxx

Answer 7

confidence; just remember that your audince is there to see you know your subject look at your audance smile speak clearly and factual . dont worry what they think about you now give them somethink aout in your talk become a handshaker and address everyone by name. if yiu dont know thier name ask someone smile and make steady eye contact.

Answer 8

there is a Paul Mckenna cd called 'i can make you confident' it comes in a set with 4 cd's there is also a book called the same aswell which i have seen in bookshops.

Answer 9

Oh have a few drinks before you get up to speak. You'll be fine fine fine. The more you drink the less you think

Answer 10

Get a lob being a stripper. you can't get more self confident or assertive than that.