Who picks up the tab on a date???

Question

When is it appropiate for a female to pick up the tab on a date? (in your opinion)

I feel sort of bad, the reason being is that i've been out on dates w/this guy (been like 3 dates so far) and he always picks up the tab.. I'm taking him out to dinner and a movie this weekend, so obviously since I invited HIM, i'm picking up the tab.

Do I have things a bit mixed? I feel sort of bad because I haven't offered to pay for it before, but I'm actually paying this weekend, and at least offering to pay on future dates.

What are your opinions when it comes to this??

Thanks in advance for your answers :) *hugz*

Answer 1

I think you are going about it the right way. I think offering to pay since you invited him out is a great idea. It seems like your guy doesn't seem to mind paying (esp. since you have three dates already :) so don't feel bad. Unless he's really macho or something, I think he will be impressed that you want to contribute as well and portray yourself as an independant woman!

Answer 2

I think (for the most part) that the responsibility should go to the guy for picking up the tab. I know from my experiences, some of the most rewarding dates I have been on were dates that ended with me paying, and my date giving me a "Thank you very much, it was delicious!" or some other positive statement that showed her appreciation. Having said this, there are some guidelines that you can follow to lessen your guilt. If you decide that it is time for you to pick up a tab, just let that be known ahead of time... kinda like a prerequisite for the proposed date... say to your fella, "I really have enjoyed our last three dates, how about we get together Tuesday night... my treat!", this will let him know, that you have enjoyed his company, and it takes care of the entire uncomfortable split-second at the time the check is rendered.

Answer 3

Hmm, this is a tough one because I think it depends. As an engaged gal, I usually offered to pay my part when dating. If they guy said "nah, I've got it," I graciously accepted and said thanks. That is how it would go for the first couple dates until I got to know the guy better-- once I was in a relationship, the guy almost always paid.

Now, some of my gal friends go the opposite of this: they always let the guy pay the first few rounds... something about wanting the guy to know they are "worth it." Once they are in a relationship, it's less important who pays.

So I guess I'm saying that you should do whatever feels comfortable-- I'm like you in that I felt bad if I wasn't at least offering to split 50/50. If the guy is the right guy, it won't really matter.

Answer 4

I think when the tab comes along you should pick it up. But if he offers to pay than let him, so he doesn't feel ashamed a girl is paying. Here is the trick. Later that night slip some money in his pocket with a note letting him know you had a good time but sometimes feel like you should pick up the tab. Hope this works! Good Luck! :)

Answer 5

I'm quite happy to pick up the bill. In fact, I get embarrassed if a girl tries to pay. The only time a girl should maybe buy drinks or whatever is when there are a group of people including single folk. If it's just couples the men should pay - if there's lots of mixed people, then everyone takes a turn. I don't think you should feel bad.

Answer 6

I think you are doing it exactly right. He paid in the beginning, so now you have invited him in exchange. As your relationship has progressed this far, you can each pay for some stuff - according to your ability. After this date, you will see how he feels about you paying sometimes. If he is happy, you can do it again. If it turns him off, you won't want to do it too often, but can find other ways of "paying"... like making the meal yourself, or renting the movie yourself, or just "happening" to have received 2 tickets to an event.

Answer 7

I believe that the person who should pick up the tab is the person who requested the date. Either way, I think that the other party should offer to pay. So in your case, since you told him YOU were taking HIM out to dinner and a movie, you should pay.

Answer 8

Since it is not your first date- you can always offer to pick up the tab. Alot of times they won't let you. i know my boyfriend didn't let me for the first year and even after we moved in together. Even if he doesn't let you pick up the tab at least leave the tip. I always have paid for the tip well at least after the first few dates i was able to leave the tip. Whatever you do- just have a good time.

Answer 9

Like you, I think it is appropriate for the woman to pick up the tab or at least offer to do so from time to time. You've been out with him 3 times and you will pick up the tab on your next date.

Good formula.

Answer 10

You should pick up the tab if plan on not putting out. If you are going to give that sweet *** away then you should make the guy pay for everything. Hopefully you are worth it.