Hard time in forgiving someone?

Question

Have you ever had a hard time in forgiving someone? May I please know what that person did to you?

I am not in distress or anything, I am just curious.

Answer 1

I had a really hard time forgiving my dad. I had so much pent up anger that it was actually causing me health problems. The reason I couldn't forgive was that he is still as much as a jackass then as he is now. (He was very controlling constantly putting me and my loved ones down) The way I finally got over it was I read this book that said to often we concentrate on the things we don't want instead of the things we want. So I decided to forgive him and think about what I wanted. And it worked! He's still a jerk but I was able to let it go.

Answer 2

Yes

My 2 year old son had his right femur broken while in home child care when he was 7 months old. The lady that kept him has always said she didn't know what happened, only that he was normal before lunch and then noticed it after his nap. Child care licensing ruled it as neglect but she never admitted anything. I don't know how I'll ever forgive her, I still have a LOT of anger about this.


Before this incident, there was another time I had a hard time forgiving... Several years ago I had a boyfriend that I was madly in love with, only to find out later that he had a wife. Jerk. Oh well, I finally got over it. Never spoke to him again but made peace with myself by forgiving him; that took a long time though.

Answer 3

It's hard for everyone to forgive. One thing I haven't forgiven is when an associate stole $13,000 from my company. I suppose I should forgive, but I never have. I guess I'm not worried about it because I don't think about it much. It doesn't bother me anymore.

The whole idea behind forgiveness is to benefit the VICTIM, not the perpetrator. You see, the victim is plagued by anger and thoughts of vengeance, all of which are negative and self-destructive. To release from these feelings, you have to forgive. You don't have to forget, you just have to say..."I don't care about this anymore. It's all in the past. I no longer have any feelings about it one way or the other." This allows you to move forward without the baggage.

If you EXPRESS the forgiveness, then it may benefit the perpetrator to help them get over guilt, which is even more self-destructive. But that's their project, not yours. If they need your forgiveness, they should ask for it...as well as try to make amends and change their behavior.

Answer 4

Yes. My ex abused me a lot. Once I understood he had the problem and I didn't, I had no reason to be angry. Forgiveness is letting go of your anger. It is normal to be angry at others because we never really know people. We can only judge by their behaviour. Often we are mad at ourselves too, for being deceived and/or thinking we should have known better. Hindsight is 20/20 though. If we knew in advance how these people will behave, we wouldn't trust them. The advantage to being the injured party is we didn't do anything but trust the wrong person which isn't wrong. They set out to deceive and have not learned anything out of the whole experience. I am sorry for that because I did learn something. Will I be deceived again? Yes. It is the nature of humans to deceive.

Answer 5

I have a hard time forgiving my husband, in the beginning of our relationship he abused me , mentally and physically. Now that he has stopped drinking and has been working on fixing the problems we have I find it very hard t forgive him for the past even though the future looks clear and happy. He hasn't drank in more than a year and no longer hits me or try's to put me down , but I always have it in the back of my mind that its going to come back.

Answer 6

I invited this person into my home to help her out during difficult financial times. She WAY overstayed her welcome, but I always treated her like a member of the family. When she finally decided to leave, she had run up a $1500 phone bill and used my ATM card without permission resulting in a severe financial crisis for me.

I could not have felt more betrayed! She just completely had me snowed into letting her move in, use my car for work (though she was never able to keep a job), and my computer to learn typing and computer operation skills (she managed to find an internet boyfriend - thus the $1500 phone bill) and then she repaid me by stealing! Talk about a slap in the face! I have since forgiven her, but it honestly took years.

Answer 7

I have a very hard time forgiving anyone who does something bad to me. It's not that I am perfect but I have a a tendency to remember only the negative things

Answer 8

Well, my ex-boyfriend was just a tad bit patronising and condescending......made me think i was less clever than he was, that i couldn't finish university without his help, that i wasn't as beautiful as other girls.....generally he thought he was IT and that i should be honoured to have him in my life. I know this isn't a serious issue, but it really affected my self-confidence, i felt useless and stupid, and so i find it hard to forgive people who play with peoples' souls just because they themselves have an inferiority complex.

Answer 9

if someone comes to u and asks forgiveness we r suposed to forgive them,but if they don't ask then just drop it and get on with your life and that person will have to answer to god for it

Answer 10

Only a believer in Jesus Christ has the power from Him to truly forgive another.