I have been married for 1 1/2 years and I have been unhappy lately. My husband refuses to do anything social with me. I run errands alone, attend our daughters engagements alone, go shopping alone so on so forth. I am a very outgoing person and he is too but only with his friends, he only wants to do the above named stuff with his friends very rarely with us only when I complain about it will he do something with us. We met at a niteclub since we both love to dance but since we became a serious couple we do not do that I go with my friends and he goes with his friends and always makes sure that I do not go to the same club as he does. Also the single friends that he goes with I have NEVER met nor has he attempted to introduce me to them and some of them have girlfriend but I am never included. Do you think he is meeting other women at the clubs and that is why he makes sure I am not at the same place or is he just ashamed of me. By the way I am very attractive. Please help.
2007-01-18 07:14:06 · 25 answers · asked by rscottsluv 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
CIndy, sounds to me like he not only has commitment issues, he needs to grow up and decide what his priorities are.. his family needs to be #1 on the list. he needs to decide whether or not he is going to hang out with his friends or portray the single image or if he is going to be responsible enough to stand up and be a man.. if you met in a club and he no longer takes you the club, you can pretty much bet that he is not just seeing one woman but maybe more than that.. he needs to step up and be a husband and a father, and if he is not capable of doing so or doesnt want that kind of life.. then you need to let him go be a little boy with his friends.. sounds like you are tired of him taking advantage of you and the fact that you know you are attractive and actually asked if he is ashamed of you is just wrong.. that means he is sucking your self-esteem... dont let him do it... get out there and live girl.. you are doing a good job and deserve better good luck darling
2007-01-18 07:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by hardscout69 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems that he needs to grow up. Have you showed what you wrote here to him? If he still doesn't understand, my advice is to start living like him for a while. Go out with friends and exclude him, don't do all of the household work, get to the gym or be busy in other ways. If he has some other woman in his life this won't bother him, but I have a feeling that he is just immature and doesn't know how selfish he is acting.
If this doesn't work, it might be so that you two are on totally different stages in life. Anyway, try to make him understand or else, leave. Best wishes.
2007-01-18 07:23:30 · answer #2 · answered by Kerosa S 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since I do not know under what conditions you met it would be difficult to say for sure why he is treating you the way he is but I expect your guess could be true. Why would he otherwise not do things with you socially? Can you think of any other reasons he would treat you this way? I take it you do not say things critical of him when you are out with him and that you do not make him feel bad in any other way. If this is true then it could be that he is seeing other women. If so, it would be in your best interest to find out why. If I were you I would ask him why he does not go out with you socially and if he balks or hesitates to answer, push him for an answer and as a last resort mention it might be that he is seeing other women and see what kind of reaction you get out of him.
2007-01-18 07:22:30 · answer #3 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is not ashamed, he is still wanting to lead the single life and he can not do that with you along. It is very hard to say if he is picking up other women when he is going out, but that is a strong possibility. Next time he goes out with his friends to go dancing or what ever he is doing, you need to just show up there and find out what is going on. He will get mad no doubt, but you just need to stand your ground and let him know that if he wants to lead a single life, you will give it to him. Let him know you did not get married to be a single parent and have a husband that does nothing with you. These new friends that he is hanging out with may be into other things that he does not want you to know about, not necessarily women. You need to find out what it is and you need to give him his choices, but do not allow him to make you a married woman with no husband, that will make for a long and bitter life.
2007-01-18 07:27:27 · answer #4 · answered by Suthern R 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men are strange... you are married and in these young years of marraige his friends want to go out n party, n he thinks he can continue to live his outgoing single life, even though he's with you... let him know how u feel, without getting aggressive...use the "it hurts me tone" so he realizes it bothers u. If he really loves you he'll chill out, take you places,,, never throw things in his face cuz he'll run away... u dont want that...
He's not ashamed of u (unless u are a total bimbo or something which I doubt... since u notice things....) so show him how u feel... plan romantic dinners, movie nights, dress up in sexy lingerie and play music at home... make him WANT to be with you.... you need to do it... he's ur husband, n u need to make sure the whole world knows it... since girls nowadays want any and every guy that's not theirs....
this is coming from a guy's point of view... so u know its for real... don't let him wander too far...girls notice single men.... A LOT
2007-01-18 07:23:13 · answer #5 · answered by quiksilver_army 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he could be cheating there is one way to find out follow him or have someone else follow him, there is no reason he needs to go out without you, I have been married for 10 years and have never felt the need to go out with my friends and not include my wife,he is doing something wrong or he is just inconsiderate, if you don't wish to spy on him then take the bull by the horns and ask him flat out his reasons for not including you and in turn how that makes you feel. He could just be selfish. GOOD LUCK I HOPE YOU DISCOVER THAT HE IS JUST (as Carlos Mencina says) DEEDEEDEE plz let us know the result!
2007-01-18 07:27:20 · answer #6 · answered by jason s 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, he's either cheating on you, or you must be a serious b**ch in public when the 2 of you are together.
My wife, loves to try and embarrass me as often as possible when we go out together. We have been married for 16 yrs.. Unless it's a family function, i will not go anywhere with her. It's not worth the aggravation. The night or event always turns into a F'ing nightmare for me.
2007-01-18 07:23:06 · answer #7 · answered by wedged15 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants the benefits of being married without the responsibilities that come with it. Tell him straight up that you got married to have a partner. This does not mean you have to be together 24/7...but he either starts acting like a family man, or he may someday find himself truly leading a single lifestyle
2007-01-18 07:19:32 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes I think he is meeting other women at the clubs he goes to. Why else would he go to such trouble to make sure you dont go there. If I were you I would go and check it out or better yet get a friend to go and let you know what she sees. If you go he will have to behave but if you have a friend who he doesnt know that would work.
2007-01-18 07:19:41 · answer #9 · answered by elaeblue 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you and your husband are lacking in one of the most important aspects of marriage... communication. You need to sit down with him and present the above question to him. If he's evasive, he's probably hiding something. You have children together. Try everything possible to make this work for their sake, but you certainly do have a problem. Marriage counseling may work. Ask him what the problem is, soon.
2007-01-18 07:25:53 · answer #10 · answered by Copper Jan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋